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by Kab(uke) Seme 03/19/2006, 1:35pm PST |
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I played the entire game rabbit punching small children in the throat, enslaving the Wookie race and causing untold levels of (futher) trauma to the the robosexual met early on. Even with my less than savory misuses of the force for fun and profit I was left with a gap, a spot teased and stoked by the half hard erection what I can only assume some second rate italy Falcon porn regular.
So I am primed and oh so moist, quivering to make with the nasty, only to end up taking it in the hair by this premature ejaculator. Why? The game is too fucking afraid to go all the way with my oh so exotic self. Bioware? A few fucking taps on the ass does not make you Dominatrix sub for the day and neither does some half assed Sith wickedness. Is is so hard to render evil?
It's not like there is a surfeit of material. There are force powers, exquisitely and unambigiously evil evil powers, which are never exploited to utterly unwholesome potential. i.e. depositing gallons of warm Jedi seed in the wombs of every cantina slut from Endor to Hoth. One faggy t-rex of a limp wrist wave and they'd forget all, that bun in the oven sko immaculate conception.
So I assumed since the game won't allow me to go on my one Jedi Eugenics campaign they will make it up in much more insidious and cruel a fashion.
Hear that?
It's the Booong of Sam Rockwell pounding a gong with splenetic frenzy. And to think some of you Ladies have the temerity to bitch about the word count of the god damn fruity made up languages populating this piece of shit and not, as you should be, wondering why it isn't you're not allowed Force nudge a pregnant mother off a balcony.
The most use my mind control ever saw was in being able to half the cost of some trinket a widow's dead husband left behind. Fucking half?! When did being evil become synonymous with petty extortion schemes? I can snap necks at a distance, dice to shreds an entire colony of those dirty fucking darky tuskan raiders, but still I'm forced at playing a low level Wise Guy with quests revolving around me bitch slapping the local flesh trade and junkies for my cut of the tepid action. Now I'm a neophyte to the Star Wars universe, but I'm fairly sure the whole debacle could've been far more effectively concluded with one swipe of this pulsing double headed cocklightsaber everyone seems to think is so hawt. The icing on the cake came in the form of hearing one of those 3D rendered Gabe Newell's flatulate out some Jabba-speak: 'Cree-bacca-hee-bacca-No-mind-tricks-faggot-Jedi-hee-bacca' when I decided it might be more beneficial if it suicided painfully. I can't even carve my initials in his fat ass as a healthy expression my displeasure. What a fucking crock.
In conclusion the abhorrent plot coupled with the boring NWN-lite gameplay is crap. The only thing worse than realizing how faggy a species of queer these Sith were in the Republic's hey-day is knowing every reviewer can't stop going, "OMFG, this game is so sexy! Game of the year awesome #1!" No wait, worse is I spent 50 bucks hoping they might even be minutely close to reality in that assessment. |
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The closest you'll get to an easy way to browse the deleted posts. by Creexul :( 03/13/2006, 6:02am PST 
So Jsoh and I both finished Sacrifice finally. by Creexul :( 03/13/2006, 6:51am PST
Metroid Prime 2 by Rafiki 03/19/2006, 12:52pm PST
Viewtiful Joe by Forensic 03/19/2006, 12:58pm PST
Mega Man: battle network: Blue version by Mischief Maker 03/19/2006, 12:59pm PST
Morrowing vs Daggerfall... FIGHT! by Ice Cream Jonsey 03/19/2006, 1:02pm PST
Castlevania: Lament of Innocence == Rygar with vampires, except better by godamit 03/19/2006, 1:03pm PST
SSX3 (PS2) by Fussbett 03/19/2006, 1:04pm PST
Re: SSX3 (PS2) by Ivan Dork It 03/20/2006, 3:23am PST
It's an in-joke for that time period. by Fussbett 03/20/2006, 8:57am PST
no no no by Ivan Dork It 03/20/2006, 10:57pm PST
Re: no no no by Fussbett 03/20/2006, 11:14pm PST
Re: no no no by Ivan Dork It 03/21/2006, 3:40am PST
Solved by Fussbett 03/21/2006, 9:50am PST
Crimson Skies (XBOX) by Funkula 03/19/2006, 1:05pm PST
Kirby Air Ride by Funkula 03/19/2006, 1:06pm PST
INC Reel Roundup and/or Cinema Showdown, pardner (plenty spoilers) by I need clarification 03/19/2006, 1:09pm PST
OH GOD THE SUCK! (Matrix 3) by Mischief Maker 03/19/2006, 1:10pm PST
Fire Emblem (GBA) by Funkula 03/19/2006, 1:11pm PST
So this Deus Ex 2 demo sure is short and small by Roop Dirump 03/19/2006, 1:13pm PST
MANHUNT (PS2) by Fussbett 03/19/2006, 1:14pm PST
KOTOR, PC by mrs. johnson 03/19/2006, 1:14pm PST
Medal of Honor: Rising Sun by Creexul ^_^ 03/19/2006, 1:15pm PST
Atari 10-in-1 by Ice Cream Jonsey 03/19/2006, 1:15pm PST
Gravitar by Ice Cream Jonsey 03/20/2006, 2:35am PST
Where did you get your Vectrex flashcart? Review plz. NT by Fussbett 03/20/2006, 9:00am PST
First impression: Godzilla Destroy all monsters (XBox) by Mischief Maker 03/19/2006, 1:16pm PST
Mech Assault (X-Box) by Mischief Maker 03/19/2006, 1:17pm PST
this really isn't a good review of this game :( by Weyoun Voidbringer 05/24/2009, 4:44pm PDT
ok I should do a real and honest review so the correct opinion is here by Weyoun Voidbringer 05/24/2009, 5:46pm PDT
Battlestar Galactica (X-Box) by Mischief Shai-hulud 03/19/2006, 1:18pm PST
Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King by FABIO 03/19/2006, 1:19pm PST
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (PS2) by FABIO 01/24/2007, 6:41am PST
Phantom Crash (XBOX) by Funkula 03/19/2006, 1:20pm PST
Age of Mythology: The Titans, worst demo ever by FABIO 03/19/2006, 1:21pm PST
Bujingai (PS2) (Jap) by Fussbett 03/19/2006, 1:25pm PST
Gackt the Gamer by Fussbett 06/23/2009, 12:53am PDT
I enjoyed this clip too much to say anything funny about it. by Zsenitanuki 06/30/2009, 2:28pm PDT
Ratchet And Clank -- Going Commando by Rigthbug 03/19/2006, 1:26pm PST
Re: Ratchet And Clank -- Going Commando NT by Quentin Beck 12/13/2007, 5:01am PST
Pithy review of Dynasty Tactics 2 by curst 03/19/2006, 1:28pm PST
Panzer Dragoon Orta (XBox) by Mischief Maker 03/19/2006, 1:28pm PST
I am TOTALLY freaked the fuck out right now (Beyond good & Evil) by Mischief Maker 03/19/2006, 1:31pm PST
NFL Street by Ice Cream Jonsey 03/19/2006, 1:32pm PST
Baldur's Gate 2 Dark Alliance 2 (Playstation 2) by Creexul ^_^ 03/19/2006, 1:33pm PST
Re: A bitter appraisal by Kab(uke) Seme by Kab(uke) Seme 03/19/2006, 1:35pm PST
Kohan: Immortal Sovereigns by FABIO 03/19/2006, 1:36pm PST
Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic by elwonko 03/20/2006, 1:24pm PST
Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles- first two hours impressions by FABIO 03/20/2006, 1:26pm PST
Mac fans: still flaming homos. by Fussbett 03/20/2006, 1:28pm PST
It kicks ass. by Frank McGillicutty 03/20/2006, 1:31pm PST
Metroid: Zero Mission (GBA) by Voyons Donc 03/20/2006, 1:32pm PST
Zone of the Enders 2 full review by Mischief Zero-Shift 03/20/2006, 1:33pm PST
Zwwwweeee fighting? by Souffle of Pain 02/07/2007, 11:54am PST
There was a link that was lost in the transfer by MMore Woman than you'll ever have 02/07/2007, 1:15pm PST
It was that pussy bitch who posts as me by Souffle of Pain 02/07/2007, 1:20pm PST
Colin McRae Rally 04 (PS2 EURO) by Fussbett 03/20/2006, 1:48pm PST
Along those lines by Mischief Maker 03/20/2006, 1:53pm PST
Culdcept (PS2) by Fussbett 03/20/2006, 1:54pm PST
Reactions by Fussbett 03/20/2006, 3:45pm PST
The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay by Fussbett 03/20/2006, 4:41pm PST
That one didn't get deleted. But I approve of the effort. NT by Fussbett 03/20/2006, 10:09pm PST
Silent Hill 3 (PS2) (PAL version) by Fussbett 03/20/2006, 4:43pm PST
AIM log review of Everything or Nothing. by Creexul ^_^ 03/21/2006, 5:50pm PST
Ninja Gaiden: I love this game!/I HATE THIS MOTHERFUCKING COCKSUCKING GAME! by Mischief Maker 03/21/2006, 5:51pm PST
The Suffering by curst 03/21/2006, 5:52pm PST
Review: Samurai Warriors by False 03/21/2006, 5:53pm PST
Red Dead Revolver (PS2) by Fussbett 03/21/2006, 5:58pm PST
Siren: Curst was right by FABIO 03/21/2006, 5:59pm PST
More Broussard forum posts by Fussbett 03/21/2006, 6:02pm PST
Front page this, please NT by Souffle of Pain 03/21/2006, 8:34pm PST
It's old though. NT by Fussbett 03/22/2006, 11:24am PST
I know it goes without saying, but Fussbett and INC make the best logs. by Jerry Whorebach 05/24/2009, 5:12pm PDT
jhoh NT by Weyoun Voidbringer 05/24/2009, 5:48pm PDT
I'm relieved Jhoh is publishing the book, because it sounds like a lot of work. NT by Fussbett 05/24/2009, 8:26pm PDT
Then when it comes out it's all switched with Mranduh logs. 8( NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 05/25/2009, 1:41am PDT
JUNK II by Fussbett 03/21/2006, 6:10pm PST
Dvorak saying there were great 3D0 games is still as good now as it was then NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 05/24/2009, 5:18pm PDT
Junk by Fussbett 03/21/2006, 11:00pm PST
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