Forum Overview :: The Knuckle Shuffle

Oh god. by Zsenitan 05/31/2008, 3:11pm PDT I can't stop leching over and dreaming about the ugliest guy in the office. I have this horrible disease where I think really ugly guys are hott. This particular specimen is like 7 feet of recessive genes and scrawniness, he's autistic, argumentative, has multiple eye disorders, and is only attracted to underage Chinese girls. Night after night I am dreaming about this guy! The last one I got all hard over was a guy at UPS whose face was all fucked up from the time he tried to commit suicide via self-inflicted gunshot, and failed. He was cold and bitter and I was just about ready to rip his clothes off every time I saw him. I think the key feature are that they're clean, functional, and pushy. If you're that horribly ugly and still acting like the world owes you a living, you must be strong. The funniest part about my wet dreams is that they fail to be unrealistic. They are instead about having totally normal sexual encounters with all the usual trials and triumphs: ooh he's too wet a kisser, this one hates it when I get aggressive, what lousy foreplay, thanks for faking that orgasm honey. Not all at the same time! And I don't want to come off as ungrateful, because I am usually enjoying myself a lot. But the point is that I have dreams like that, and I wake up and go to the office with these people and I'm like "why didn't you stay for breakfast?" Instead of just giggling about the dreams that I would have rather had, where six of this person's clones have all grown extra breasts and the breasts are each resting on a delicious cake or pie and there are ambient mobile robot dicks.

Had a wet dream lately? NT by Quétinbec 05/31/2008, 12:04am PDT     Never had one ever. NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 05/31/2008, 12:05am PDT         Jsoh is just laying there trying to fall asleep when GLORSH by Entropy Stew 05/31/2008, 12:45am PDT             I am not really that virile in real life. ONLY IN MY SEXY IMAGINATION ~_~ by Creexuls, a monster >:3 05/31/2008, 12:50am PDT             I think I had one when I was like 12 NT by Grumah 05/31/2008, 1:10am PDT                 If you masturbate regularly, wet dreams won't happen, so you've exposed yourself by Quétinbec 05/31/2008, 6:59am PDT                     Yeah I don't think there was any secrecy about this. by Creexuls, a monster >:3 05/31/2008, 7:36am PDT     Does it still count if I'm awake? NT by Entropy Stew 05/31/2008, 12:39am PDT     Oh god. by Zsenitan 05/31/2008, 3:11pm PDT         Re: Oh god. by E. L. Koba 05/31/2008, 3:25pm PDT         No wonder you think I'm a great guy :( NT by I need clarification 06/01/2008, 1:39am PDT         Re: Oh god. by Quétinbec 06/01/2008, 7:48am PDT             Re: Oh god. by Creexuls, a monster >:3 06/01/2008, 9:01am PDT             Re: Oh god. by Zsenitan 06/01/2008, 10:27am PDT                 What closet? NT by soldier, wet dream subject 06/01/2008, 12:59pm PDT                 Legs: the gayest part of the female body? by Quétinbec 06/02/2008, 1:50am PDT                     What about ovaries and the uterus? PRETTY HOT NT by worm 06/02/2008, 9:22am PDT         Chicks dig jerks, news at eleven. NT by Jerry Whorebach 06/01/2008, 8:51pm PDT             Women fantasize over things they'd never go for in real life NT by FABIO 06/02/2008, 6:36pm PDT     About an hour ago, almost completely ruining my late-afternoon nap. by Jerry Whorebach 06/01/2008, 9:48pm PDT         Jerry, I never would’ve picked you as someone who doesn’t regularly masturbate! NT by Quétinbec 06/02/2008, 1:52am PDT             I swore NEVER AGAIN after a couple particularly grueling sessions on Friday ;_; NT by Jerry Whorebach 06/02/2008, 3:06am PDT                 What's the emoticon for when you can't pee because your foreskin is swollen shut NT by It's hard to be a saint in the city 06/02/2008, 3:11am PDT         I've been thinking about what my dream might mean (DONT HURT YOUR FAGBONE -ed) by (AND BY FAGBONE I MEAN BRAIN -ed) 06/02/2008, 6:41am PDT