Forum Overview :: The Knuckle Shuffle :: Oh god.

[quote name="Zsenitan"]I can't stop leching over and dreaming about the ugliest guy in the office. I have this horrible disease where I think really ugly guys are <i>hott</i>. This particular specimen is like 7 feet of recessive genes and scrawniness, he's autistic, argumentative, has multiple eye disorders, and is only attracted to underage Chinese girls. Night after night I am dreaming about this guy! The last one I got all hard over was a guy at UPS whose face was all fucked up from the time he tried to commit suicide via self-inflicted gunshot, and failed. He was cold and bitter and I was just about ready to rip his clothes off every time I saw him. I think the key feature are that they're clean, functional, and pushy. If you're that horribly ugly and still acting like the world owes you a living, you must be strong. The funniest part about my wet dreams is that they fail to be unrealistic. They are instead about having totally normal sexual encounters with all the usual trials and triumphs: ooh he's too wet a kisser, this one hates it when I get aggressive, what lousy foreplay, thanks for faking that orgasm honey. Not all at the same time! And I don't want to come off as ungrateful, because I am usually enjoying myself a lot. But the point is that I have dreams like that, and I wake up and go to the office with these people and I'm like "why didn't you stay for breakfast?" Instead of just giggling about the dreams that I would have rather had, where six of this person's clones have all grown extra breasts and the breasts are each resting on a delicious cake or pie and there are ambient mobile robot dicks.[/quote]