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| Re: Grandparent? by Bill Dungsroman 07/13/2005, 1:35am PDT | ||||
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Ray of Light wrote: I don't speak in AIM logs, Boss. That's for the Stooges and, of late, you. I say what I want to say. I don't require some half-assed degree of seperation to say it. You're the one who said she was into me; I'm just honor-bound to warn her that it's not all decorative candles and scented corduroy and cockless asses, is all. Recliner-bound is more like it, I'd wager. Why do you surround yourself with people unable to buy their own cars? This isn't some platonic dialogue where I railroad you into having a messiah complex: I'm genuinely intrigued and you may answer freely. Yeah, I mean I must be insane. Here's the short answer: I don't. Who said anything about "unable?" I surround myself with people I care about. Poor dysfunctional me, I know. Ray, there's simply no way for me to put it without being condescending. Sometimes, people like to do nice things for the people they care about, just for the Hell of it. Nobody's angling for leverage or good graces. Actually, that's not entirely true; her father is. He wants to buy us a house, the one right next to her sister at the Top o'Topanga. I shudder to think what those two-level matchboxes are going for. They built them in a trailer park that's slowly being converted. That alone almost sealed the deal for me. You need to explain to me how spending some time researching a car for my girlfriend, father and myself as it happens, is such a shocking and reprehensible act. I'm buying a house, too. Oh, the time I've spent looking for that. The countless man hours pissed away in choosing between competitive lenders and their brokers. Madness! You'd totally fucking shit to hear what I did last weekend. I went to Topanga CA, to visit my girlfriend's sister and her family. Hey, she might suck my dick some more for it, yeah? Their PC was a total mess. So, I fixed it for them, some paltry system recovery stuff that even I'm capable of. Maybe, just maybe, they'll love me now? Oh, say they will, Ray. SAY THEY WILL. It gets worse. I'm doing the same this weekend...for my mother! Be still my penis, yes I know. At some point along the way, well, you just know I'm going to do something for my girlfriend again. Resign yourself to the fact, Ray. I've been laid low. Psh. No big deal. It's not like you spent weeks in a fit of OCD-fueled fact finding, researched and priced out several cars in different price ranges and got her approved at a great rate for 25K and are going to get her whatever she chooses at dealer cost. No, don't go on. I get it. You're just a guy who's passionate about something but also wounded, like the toothless man in Adaptation, except your passions are inflamed by getting a really good value on a new or used vehicle. Yes, that's it. Obviously. I mean, who the Hell ever tries to pay less than MSRP? Haggling? That's for Cairo fishmongers and knick-knack carts in Cancun. Walking onto the out with a figure at the end of the month and telling the guy he can move a unit or not, it's his choice, and he has 30 minutes starting now. Or even, not haggling and doing the whole thing online, getting competitive quotes and choosing the lowest. Knowing actual dealer cost. Knowing which fees are bogus, which are mandatory, and which are negotiable regardless. Getting independent financing and knowing my credit scores regardless. I got nice and burned on my XTerra, for the most part. I got what I thought was a deal, I really got just what the car dealership makes you think is a good deal. Bro, you may have the cash to burn. I don't, nor will I ever no matter how much I'm pulling down. You're essentially defending dumb spending. I thought you were frugal. You're just cheap and lazy masquerading as cool and wise. You're in luck. It was all of them. Yeah, me too. Cry cry. You think you're instructing me on how to get and treat girls Ray, but really all you're telling me is how to carry on dysfunctional, empty relationships with them and keep all the cards in your playing hand, because you're too much of a pansy to put forth anything more. Sure, that's a step up from the way I used to play it. No question. I could tell you it ain't that way for me anymore, but nobody fucking cares about my precious victories as a human. I've taken my share of pounding, much of which was by being naive and stupid. It cost me everything. Oh fucking well. Back to the drawing board. One of the things I've always loved about this stupid site is the utter lack of pity. Again, I've gotten wiser, things have gotten better, but there's few things more dull than small tales of personal triumph. So, sure, I'm still the same old dunce I've always been. Okay by me. I start by telling her she's not. And that she can handle her own damn affairs. Then we talk about you. You may as well, I doubt you've much to speak of after that exchange. The women you date must really be in love with hurting themselves. That's swell, keep them tied up and away from the rest of us, I say. My ersatz style of bragaddocio is invincible. No, seriously, ersatz is the worst kind of bragaddocio and no laughing matter. Artificial and inferior. Yeah, that's about right. Dude, your lurid tales of being cold and detached aren't sending me into wracking bouts of jealousy. "You were kind? Generous? Jesus Bill, what the fuck is your malfunction?" It's important that you not let your strong feelings for me cloud the very important message I deliver. Is there anyone on this site that doesn't resort to this feint? I guess you all have a good laugh on AIM about how Ol' BDR is riled up again, because he typed something. No, what it's about or what he wrote is irrelevant. Pages of AIM logs dedicated to how I'm taking the site too seriously. I won't answer this yet because I've blown your mind enough for one day. Remind me of the fact tomorrow, lest I forget. |
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