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| JUNK IV or V by Fussbett 07/11/2005, 7:10am PDT | ||||
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| I can't remember which version of Junk we're on. This episode is basically a recap of all the IMs I got today.
http://www.snopes.com/photos/people/peppers.asp Ray of Light: unfortunate name Sanitario666: Yeah, the rest of him: fortunate. Ray of Light: brian peppers popped-out peepers Ray of Light: that's how my sex offender tongue twister begins Ray of Light: http://onlinedocs.andersonpublishing.com/oh/lpExt.dll/PORC/114b3/116c4/116cc/116df Ray of Light: "For the purpose of preventing resistance, the offender substantially impairs the judgment or control of the other person" Ray of Light: pretty much a prima facie case there Ray of Light: "ladies and gentlemen of the jury, would the alleged victim here sleep with the accused if her judegement was unimpaired?" Sanitario666: Yeesh, let's pretend we didn't just read that. The next victim of Peppers was conflictNo. conflictNo: OH MY Sanitario666: BOO! conflictNo: Photo taken outside of an airlock on Mars? Sanitario666: Still UNDETERMINED. Those Snopes guys don't fool around. Until Brian Peppers shows up at the doorsteps of Snopes.com, it will remain unproven. conflictNo: You know, if that's a real guy, then just let him commit a few "gross sexual impositions". Geez, give him a break. Sanitario666: And notice the childhood pictures. Though clearly he's got a syndrome, what lead to the cop picture exactly? Sanitario666: Possibly being beaten in the face with a shovel and then locked under the stairs for 20 years? conflictNo: Yeah, I would guess that he experienced a beating. That left eye looks about ready to fall out. Sanitario666: The final horrible thing about that Snopes page is that if it is a real person, this is yet another page on the internet where he's being made fun of. Sanitario666: People can't even believe such a horror exists in this world. His very existence is debated. conflictNo: And then you click the links and see that one in every 10,000 live births a day in the USA end up with one of those awesome Syndromes. Sanitario666: Yeah, time to stop having babies already. conflictNo: Really. Why chance it? Sanitario666: It's Russian roulette: Aspers, Dyslexia, red headed boys. conflictNo: Raise an internet-persecuted sex offender. Sanitario666: I would've kept Brian under the stairs too. Finally, I shock theSpooler, who you guys don't know. theSPOOLER: Good lord! Sanitario666: [some of my previous jokes deleted] theSPOOLER: "Some other features commonly seen in this condition are visual disturbances related to an imbalance of the muscles that move the eyes, a hearing loss due to recurrent ear infections, and varying degrees of acne." theSPOOLER: And ACNE too! Killer... Sanitario666: Even the name "Brian Peppers" is horrifying. Sanitario666: PEPPERS. That's a horror movie right there. Sanitario666: Coming this fall. PEPPERS... "Looks aren't always deceiving!" Sanitario666: Rated R theSPOOLER: Wow, I just discovered, thanks to Snopes, that new Coke was Diet Coke with sugar. http://www.modestapparelchristianclothinglydiaofpurpledressescustomsewing.com/family_up_date.htm Look at that URL, people. Ray of Light's browser couldn't even parse that shit, and he had to resort to the Google cache of the site. You should take that with a grain of salt though, because I also just recently discovered that Ray of Light has his browser set to force 14-pixel Verdana on every webpage he views. As expected, many websites show up with a screwy and broken layout, but he doesn't care! As long as he never see Comic Sans again, he's happy. Sanitario666: "Marriage is a life- long commitment which takes love, forgiveness, patience, and long-suffering." Sanitario666: LONG-SUFFERING Ray of Light: it sounds like we should be happy that the institution of marriage is crumbling Sanitario666: http://www.modestapparelchristianclothinglydiaofpurpledressescustomsewing.com/family_up_date.htm Ray of Light: "Fifth daughter is our horse girl." Ray of Light: no kidding conflictNo: Thirty-five years of beard growth! conflictNo: It looks like one of those kids has Downs, which is another case of playing the odds and losing. Sanitario666: Any takers for daughter three? conflictNo: I don't think it requires 40 years out-of-date eyewear anywhere in any version of the Bible. On of my SB-deleted posts was about how Pontiac employs today's worst car designers, example #23423 being the new Pontiac GTO, a 350-hp car that looks like a tamer Sunfire and from some angles an Oldsmobile Alero. Why I was bringing it up specifically and not, say, the Aztek, was because the GTO was originally a pretty wild looking machine, so goofy Pontiac actually played it too safe. Meanwhile Chrysler is making crazy stuff like the PT Cruisers, Prowlers, the Dodge Viper and Ford brings back the Mustang's original looks to huge applause and sales. Since then Dodge has also released the new Charger, and while it hasn't received the overall undying praise the new Mustang enjoyed (mostly people flipping out over the fact that the Charger is now a four-door, making it a sedan!!!) you cannot argue that the new Charger looks like it might eat the car in front of it. 
...so with this muscle car rejuvination going on all around it (Dodge Charger R/T Meets Mustang GT: New-age musclecars take to the streets of San Francisco)) Pontiac says "OH NO, LETS REDESIGN OUR PIECE OF SHIT AND GET IN ON THIS", and with that, release this plan for the 2008 GTO:  (click for the full bigness) Basically ripping off the new Mustang back end, but still managing to inject the Pontiac ugly into the front. In other news, gas prices set a new record last week, and consumer demand? It's up almost 3% from last year. All signs still pointing to huge crash. We're all still rocking Battlefield 2 pretty hard, but still indepedently, as EA/Dice have included no friend finder of any sort into their broken server browser, and the 1.01 patch was REPEALED which means we can't even use an external launcher like All Seeing Eye. Jhoh Cable: So did you reinstall BF2? Sanitario666: Yeah I did Jhoh Cable: :( Jhoh Cable: So you wouldn't be able to play on the servers we play on. ~_~ Jhoh Cable: Until they release that fixed patch. :( Jhoh Cable: Did I mention that EA sucks ass? :( Jhoh Cable: Although EA is mostly just a publisher. Jhoh Cable: It's probably all their fault. :( Jhoh Cable: They seem like scumbags. Jhoh Cable: Even their stupid fake edgy slogan thing. Jhoh Cable: You'd think with all the money that venture capitalists blew on worthless dotcom companies in like 99 and 2000, even a portion of the money lost could just make some new startup game publishing company to compete with shitty EA. :( Jhoh Cable: If INC and me and pals form our own game development company, remind us not to have EA publish. ~_~ Sanitario666: Jhoh Cable: So........ We're going to get EA to publish our game, Fairy of War. [01:44] Jhoh Cable: Hahahahaha. [01:45] Jhoh Cable: THANKS FOR REMINDING ME ~_~ [01:45] Jhoh Cable: Fairy of War. :) That AIM log had a nested imaginary AIM log inside it. I hope you could all follow that. Obituary is an old death metal band from the Tampa, Florida death metal wellspring back in the Tampa, Florida death metal heyday. Unlike tough guy posers in similar bands, Obituary always had a lighthearted approach and their new album soon to be released is called "Frozen in Time". I heard it, and they ain't kidding. 
My girlfriend frequents hilariously self-parodying celebrity and plastic surgery gossip forums, where many of the threads are someone posting an ugly picture of a celebrity and then everyone commenting about how ugly the person is, or how much they look like [crappier celebrity X]. It sounds like I'm against it, but I'm not. Anyway, she keeps me well stocked in links like Quentin Tarantino and Kevin Federline's baby momma, and yesterday's link was Kim Stewart's crazy thin body. http://www.apsforums.com/cgi-bin/yabb/YaBB.cgi?board=sc;action=display;num=1120672667;start= 
Also note the accidental "bink" typo. That ought to get his conspiracy theories churning. |
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