Here's a post I wrote to the OMM boards about my fake experiences playing Arcanum (RPG made by the guy who created the Fallout games). The topic was: which makes more of a difference in game conversations, intelligence or charisma? I said I put 20 into my intelligence so I can play as myself. Someone asked me if I wanted to be beautiful though to attract all the hotties!

Unfortunately I had to stay horribly ugly. Everyone I tried to talk to involuntarily leaped a step back in horror. And then I broke into a few houses and was put in jail and beaten in the face, and I kept screaming, NOT THE FACE, NOT THE FACE YOU PIECE OF BITCH TRASH!

I got a break when one of the guards took a nap in my cell with the door unlocked. I stole his club and beat him to death with it, then wandered out, crushing everyone who got in my way. That's where my 20 intelligence paid off, because I became smart enough to kill people with one hit, even though I only weighed about 80 pounds, and could only carry 5 pounds in my inventory at all times. After everyone was dead, I torched the place. Then the 50 NPCs in the town came after me, but 5 of them wanted to join me instantly because I was evil and they liked that (they also liked that I had 20 intelligence, because I kept telling people I had 20 intelligence), so we all started slaughtering people, and throwing the bodies out the front door. Of the town. Metaphorically.

I ordered my party members to build a new town out of all the charred wood and rocks laying around the ruins of whatever town I was in. It was about 300 feet high, and I climbed all the way to the top and lived there for a few days until I starved to death.

I had my ghost follow people around, but no one noticed me. I eventually learned from a guy in a subway (a steampunk subway) who taught me to take my emotions into the pit of my stomach and start hitting things like steampunk shoes and steampunk sodapop cans. I only used this newfound skill to reach into people's internal organs and pull them out (it takes an intelligence of 20 to know where the intestines are, you know!).

Then I followed around some rich people on the Zephyr 2. We were attacked on that one too, but it was by the Fortune Hunters from Crimson Skies. After we slammed into the ground and exploded, we were looted for all of our fancy gold pieces, and common plants that we always carry around. I was bored with crashing at that time so I kind of left before people came to look for survivors.

So then I went into a cave and there was a ghost of some bandit there. We hung out for a while. We kept playing hide and seek, mostly hiding in the barrel by his old bed. We kept doing that, and then we'd pretend not to want to look in the barrel. Eventually one or the other gave ourselves away when we'd start laughing. I remember one time we laughed for two weeks straight just because of our hilarious barrel antics.

Later I got bored and told the guy I was gonna get stuff to dress his cave/room up. I went into some town and used my magical ghost powers to make off with a steampunk toaster oven. I took it back, but the guy had become trapped in a bag of magic powder. I tried throwing it, but I couldn't even pick it up (a bug in the game, probably).

I moved on. There was a 'ghost town' nearby, but there weren't any ghosts in it. I kept going north through some mountains. I flew through a giant rock wall and found a ghost prison inside the mountain. There were a lot of ghosts there, running the prison. They didn't have any ghosts IN prison, they just imprisoned empty space. Some guy told me that was supposed to be just a big ghost joke, but another guy told me that the jail's been shut down a while ago and they're keeping time there so someone can build a steampunk mountain energy plant there. I asked how they could do that if they're ghosts, but when the guy answered, the game crashed back to desktop.

It doesn't matter to me because I want to finish Homeworld before I dedicate time to any other games.