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by Horrible Gelatinous Blob 02/16/2010, 11:26am PST |
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Quétinbec wrote:
Where do you guys get off saying this? I have a bedroom the size of an apartment and sleep in a bed the size of a kitchen. I make more in an hour than most make in a day, and I visit bars where I can choose between any one of 200 beautiful girls. How does that make me among the sorriest of fuckers? I'm one of the luckiest people I know.
I totally believe that you're one of the luckiest people you know. On that subjective scale, living in a mansion in Bahrain is hitting the goddamn jackpot.
But let's look at the objective facts. When it came to forging an independent life for yourself in New Zealand and Australia, you failed. You failed miserably. Given nearly every starting advantage (white, male, reasonable wealth) and living in a country that could charitably be described as "Easy Mode for the First World," you couldn't even keep your head above water. So now you've restyled yourself as some sort of boundary-pushing globetrotter, pretending that the reason why you flit about from country to country is because you have an insatiable desire to "experience life" and see the world, when in reality it's because you can't get laid regularly unless you pay for it and your entire life revolves around finding the cheapest possible whore to break it off in.
Mischief Maker has an undergraduate degree in a hard science and a law degree. INC and pod people have strong marriages and families of their own. ICJ and Fussbett have steady jobs and lives they've built for themselves, without running to Mama and Papa every time an unexpected misfortune arises. Even Jhoh and Jsoh own their own home. I doubt any of them would exchange what they have now to sit in the middle of the desert alone with nothing but ping-pong, whores, and anti-Semitism to pass the time.
Make no mistake: if you had popped your cherry in high school, you'd still be in New Zealand/Australia with your siblings. You'd probably still be a massive fuck-up, but at least you would have developed the ability to form something roughly approximating a genuine, healthy relationship with a female that didn't openly threaten to chop your dick off. Hard to imagine, I know. You'd have to recalibrate the Quétinbec subjective scale and everything.
What the does "cry uncontrollably" mean? I'm as much in control of my tears as anyone is.
No, you're not. I'm in control of my tears. That's why I don't have any. Fussbett is in control of his tears. That's why he doesn't have any.
You cry because some Taiwanese broad sends you a text where she claims to be in love with you. Setting aside the complete ridiculousness at anyone being emotionally moved by txtspk: if you're in control as you claim to be, that means you knowingly chose to cry at something that is, as pod people charitably phrased it, sad and banal. That's even worse than uncontrollable crying as far as I'm concerned.
So which is it? Do you intentionally cry at stupid shit, or are you an uncontrollably weeping pussy? Either way, it's not a good look.
So contrary to your bullshit, I'm not really sad, but I am scared I won't find someone nice to marry, and I'm scared I'll lose my job and have no way to return to this standard of living.
You shouldn't fear these things. Fearing the inevitable is pointless.
No one nice will ever want to marry you. I know it's kind of brutal to say, but it doesn't make it any less true. I know you have this fantasy of stumbling upon this saintly beautiful poor brown girl and being redeemed and transformed by the purifying intensity of her love for you, but that's all it is: a fantasy. You're not Jennifer Lopez, and there's no shirtless Matthew McConau-gay coming to save you. Shit like that doesn't happen in the real world. Your selfishness, your greed, your gluttony, your self-sabotage -- all these things are a part of you. They're not diseases, they're symptoms of being Quétinbec. No one is going to cure you of your crippling personality flaws. Shit, you're more flaws than personality at this point.
Even if the stars aligned and you managed to trick a "nice" person into marrying you, they'd leave you as soon as they realized what a horrible person you are. I know you think that she would be eternally grateful to you for elevating her out of the third world muck (and really, your colonialist white-man's-burden fantasies deserve extended examination on their own), but again, it doesn't work like that in the real world. Even Eddie Murphy knew that back in 1985. I WANT HALF, ED-DEE.
As for your standard of living: I can sympathize with the concept that if you're going to be miserable, you might as well be miserable around some really nice things. But it's just stuff, Quentin. You'd think that by this point in your life, you'd realize the worthlessness of stuff compared to, you know, people.
Last month someone offered me $45/hour to help mark some essays and I turned him down. In Australia, I would have cried with joy to get a job paying $15/hour gross. If I fuck this up, it's such a huge step down, and yet I talk so much shit and do many stupid things.
You know why that is, don't you? You sabotage yourself because deep down inside, in the darkest and most hidden part of yourself, you believe that you deserve to fail.
The really fucked up thing about it is that you're right: you do deserve it. |
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A fuck occured by Quétinbec 02/13/2010, 10:03am PST 
That would have made an awesome NT by Thief escort mission 02/13/2010, 10:46am PST
crent needs a shirt that says WANK HAPPENS. NT by Jhoh Creexul (custom software) 02/13/2010, 11:39am PST
Tangential but I bookmarked this thread just for you. by Noi Dau Don 02/14/2010, 4:59pm PST
Do you guys have any tips on uhhh how to NOT cry like a pregnant woman at every NT by little thing? (Hahahahahahahahaha) 02/14/2010, 7:16pm PST
I haven't cried since that beautiful text. by Quétinbec 02/15/2010, 5:31am PST
Quétinbec: King Shit of Fuck Mountain by Horrible Gelatinous Blob 02/15/2010, 2:34pm PST
Perfect forum title NT by Fortinbras 02/15/2010, 3:12pm PST
If On a Winter's Night a Lecher... NT by : 02/15/2010, 6:51pm PST
Re: Quétinbec: King Shit of Fuck Mountain by Quétinbec 02/16/2010, 6:52am PST
Re: Quétinbec: King Shit of Fuck Mountain by Bananadine 02/16/2010, 7:25am PST
And yet no one wants to live in Bahrain and everyone wants to live in Australia NT by WHY? 02/16/2010, 9:38am PST
What's that about Bahrain and Australia, CUNT? by Quétinbec 02/17/2010, 7:24am PST
Um, Australia beats Bahrain in every category except finances and friends by Mischief Maker 02/17/2010, 12:08pm PST
or "other people looking for someone, anyone, to help to forget they're in Bahra NT by WHY? 02/17/2010, 2:50pm PST
Lower is better. by Arbit 02/17/2010, 3:08pm PST
I used to get on that MM guy about his lack of careful reading skills. NT by Slow down the skimming. 02/17/2010, 3:22pm PST
You want careful reading? I charge a very reasonable hourly fee. NT by Mischief Maker 02/18/2010, 12:05am PST
Call up Milton, 'cause it's time for some REAL TALK by Horrible Gelatinous Blob 02/16/2010, 11:26am PST
best troll of all time by Mysterious Stranger 02/16/2010, 9:38pm PST
So the reason I want Paris Hilton to die of AIDS is because she trolled me? NT by Mischief Maker 02/16/2010, 11:35pm PST
Also she is a cunt. ^_^ NT by Jhoh Creexul (custom software) 02/17/2010, 7:23am PST
Use of "Sir" detected. Conclusion: PROBABLE GOON NT by Fortinbras 02/17/2010, 7:29am PST
Like you? Ha ha yeah. 8) NT by Jhoh Creexul (custom software) 02/17/2010, 7:31am PST
Wow, you've cracked the case by Sir Percy Fistyworth Chumsford III 02/17/2010, 8:10am PST
(*airhorn*) NT by Fullofkittens 02/18/2010, 6:38pm PST
This guy has the right idea. Can everyone stop replying to posts on Caltrops? NT by Exception: praise. 02/17/2010, 9:32am PST
You're full of shit. by Quétinbec 02/17/2010, 7:19am PST
Re: You're full of shit. by Jhoh Creexul (custom software) 02/17/2010, 7:30am PST
Wow, Jhoh's mortgage-free! NT by Jealous debtors 02/17/2010, 12:02pm PST
If we were mortgage free we would've paid a deposit. NT by Jhoh Creexul (custom software) 02/17/2010, 4:51pm PST
What? by Hans Clastorp 02/17/2010, 5:46pm PST
I guess we deposited a down payment then. NT by Jhoh Creexul (custom software) 02/17/2010, 5:50pm PST
hans, the mc hammer of caltrops :D NT by irony 02/17/2010, 5:57pm PST
:D NT by Hans Clastorp 02/18/2010, 9:30am PST
Re: :D by Mischief Maker 02/18/2010, 9:50am PST
Haha that's hans. NT by Jhoh Creexul (custom software) 02/18/2010, 3:17pm PST
I feel a lot better about myself now that I know he believes that actually NT by irony 02/17/2010, 5:10pm PST
Ha ha! You DID fall in love with Stabby! I fucking called it! NT by Mischief Maker 02/17/2010, 9:22am PST
Oh, for fuck's sake by I need clarification 02/17/2010, 9:40am PST
INC's high stakes! by Quétinbec 02/18/2010, 9:28am PST
What family? NT by Fortinbras 02/18/2010, 8:14pm PST
Let's all get trolled (I mean reply) by Fussbett 02/17/2010, 11:01am PST
Where's the rage? by Admiral Crustwallow Derbingle Jr. 02/17/2010, 11:49am PST
Re: Let's all get trolled (I mean reply) by Jhoh Creexul (custom software) 02/17/2010, 4:58pm PST
what house did we pay only $20,000 for? by irony 02/17/2010, 5:09pm PST
*checks jacket* NT by Jhoh Creexul (custom software) 02/17/2010, 5:10pm PST
who knew examining the particulars of a living situation could be so fantastical NT by irony 02/17/2010, 5:36pm PST
The inaccurate particulars. 8) NT by Jhoh Creexul (custom software) 02/17/2010, 5:42pm PST
WE'RE NOT LOSERS, WHY DO YOU GUYS KEEP SAYING THAT?! 8) NT by The Cable Retards 02/17/2010, 6:34pm PST
Don't be bitter because you lost (and we won). 83 NT by Jhoh Creexul (custom software) 02/17/2010, 6:38pm PST
I GET PISSED OFF BY RETARDS WHO TRUMP MY INTELLEGENCE WHATS THIS IRONY THING NT by crying bitch 02/17/2010, 7:03pm PST
Nice subtlety jsoh NT by HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHUR? 02/17/2010, 7:10pm PST
also we have huge nigger cocks NT by irony 02/17/2010, 7:11pm PST
Tell me more. NT by Quétinbec 02/17/2010, 8:00pm PST
That's what I was thinking. :( by Jhoh Creexul (custom software) 02/17/2010, 7:29pm PST
to be fair I think he does get it, but it isn't helping him sleep at night NT by irony 02/17/2010, 7:32pm PST
Nothing will at this point. 8( NT by Jhoh Creexul (custom software) 02/17/2010, 7:43pm PST
You don't have to be a genius to buy a 20k house in Detroit, but it helps! NT by ED-209 02/18/2010, 11:56pm PST
The deposit was only $20 so it was quite a bargain. NT by Jhoh Creexul (custom software) 02/19/2010, 12:23am PST
HAHAH LET'S ALL PRETEND WE HAVEN'T BEEN CONTINUOUSLY TROLLED FOR THE PAST COUPLE by YEARS BY SAYING WE'RE BEING TROLLED 02/18/2010, 5:11pm PST
Ha, you got trolled so hard. Look at your replying constantly about this. NT by U MAD 02/18/2010, 7:45pm PST
I know right? by Mysterious Stranger 02/18/2010, 8:47pm PST
Re: I know right? by U MAD 02/18/2010, 9:10pm PST
Re: I know right? by Mysterious Stranger 02/19/2010, 8:02am PST
Re: You're full of shit. by Mischief Maker 02/17/2010, 11:05am PST
Re: You're full of shit. by Quétinbec 02/18/2010, 9:43am PST
Re: You're full of shit. by Mischief Maker 02/18/2010, 11:40am PST
"Economics! With this enchanted Tarot, you'll never NEED to understand finance!" NT by The Happiness Engine 02/18/2010, 3:37pm PST
I've been trolled! by Arbit 02/17/2010, 11:50am PST
Re: I've been trolled! by Quétinbec 02/18/2010, 9:45am PST
Re: I've been trolled! by Arbit 02/19/2010, 4:54pm PST
QB's emoretcon extravaganza by up with pod people 02/17/2010, 12:03pm PST
Re: QB's emoretcon extravaganza by Quétinbec 02/18/2010, 9:49am PST
HGB and QB star in: Okane Ga Nai (No Money) by Noi Dau Don 02/17/2010, 5:50pm PST
I have a conversation with a beautiful live human female about this. by Noi Dau Don 02/17/2010, 6:26pm PST
oh yea so did I, if by "this" you mean something somewhat unrelatred by irony 02/17/2010, 7:25pm PST
a page 404'd :( NT by Worm 02/17/2010, 9:13pm PST
Missing page reup by Noi Dau Don 02/18/2010, 2:05pm PST
That was hilarious, Zseni. NT by Quétinbec 02/18/2010, 9:52am PST
Thanks QB! Your ukefacing is deeply inspiring to me. NT by Noi Dau Don 02/18/2010, 2:17pm PST
NO U by Horrible Gelatinous Blob 02/18/2010, 11:50am PST
Re: NO U by Quétinbec 02/19/2010, 6:51am PST
QB has lots of secret private messages to be proud of NT by Tom Chick 02/19/2010, 8:38am PST
I once genetically engineered bioluminescent E-Coli as a lab project. by Mischief Maker 02/18/2010, 12:14pm PST
Hahahahaha NT by Entropy Stew 02/19/2010, 12:16am PST
Re: I once genetically engineered bioluminescent E-Coli as a lab project. by Quétinbec 02/19/2010, 6:59am PST
I think these adventures are a little romantic. by Ice Cream Jonsey 02/17/2010, 8:51pm PST
I think I meant "accomplished" goon. Not acclimated. I just work here. NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 02/17/2010, 8:53pm PST
Re: I think these adventures are a little romantic. by Quétinbec 02/18/2010, 9:47am PST
Except when they get on the airwaves, newspapers, internet, etc. NT by Fortinbras 02/18/2010, 11:34am PST
it falls to me to inform you that the 'beautiful text' was actually sad, banal by up with pod people 02/15/2010, 6:53pm PST
Re: it falls to me to inform you that the 'beautiful text' was actually sad, ban by Quétinbec 02/16/2010, 6:55am PST
Do you actually play video games? NT by Mysterious Stranger 02/16/2010, 11:37am PST
Sure he does! He played that Need for Speed where you get text messages from a by beautiful but deadly Chinese girl! 02/16/2010, 4:53pm PST
Re: A fuck occured by i_hate_goons.vbs 02/18/2010, 8:02pm PST
Hey, QB! We found someone who wants to trade places with you. NT by Mischief Maker 02/18/2010, 8:15pm PST
Don't kid yourself. QB's posts have all the core elements of a Goon story. by Fortinbras 02/18/2010, 8:19pm PST
fuck you, goon by i_hate_goons.vbs 02/19/2010, 12:12am PST
Sounds like it's time for Fortinbras NT by to raise the stakes B) 02/19/2010, 6:12am PST
Lookit these FUCKEN GOONS by i_hate_goons.vbs 02/18/2010, 8:26pm PST
Who wants to ban QB??? These hate-ins are fun! NT by Mischief Maker 02/18/2010, 9:40pm PST
Re: Who wants to ban QB??? These hate-ins are fun! by i_hate_goons.vbs 02/18/2010, 9:52pm PST
Re: Who wants to ban QB??? These hate-ins are fun! by Mischief Maker 02/18/2010, 10:23pm PST
Re: Who wants to ban QB??? These hate-ins are fun! by i_hate_goons.vbs 02/19/2010, 12:04am PST
Re: Who wants to ban QB??? These hate-ins are fun! by i_hate_goons.vbs 02/19/2010, 12:10am PST
Ping pong with whores? OH, THE DECADENCE by Entropy Stew 02/19/2010, 12:28am PST
Is it time to have a thread about serious shit that we're morally neutral about? by Noi Dau Don 02/19/2010, 1:49am PST
Wrong. by Fortinbras 02/19/2010, 9:20am PST
This guy didn't get trolled. Let's all praise him. NT by Troll assessor 02/18/2010, 9:01pm PST
Re: A fuck occured by Quétinbec 02/19/2010, 7:09am PST
Re: A fuck occured by Mischief Maker 02/19/2010, 8:33am PST
Hey QB! by Gutsby 02/19/2010, 9:41am PST
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