Caltrops - Tales of the Sword Coast





	[quote name="Horrible Gelatinous Blob"][quote name="Quétinbec"]Where do you guys get off saying this? I have a bedroom the size of an apartment and sleep in a bed the size of a kitchen. I make more in an hour than most make in a day, and I visit bars where I can choose between any one of 200 beautiful girls. How does that make me among the sorriest of fuckers? I'm one of the luckiest people I know.[/quote] I totally believe that you're one of the luckiest people you know. On that subjective scale, living in a mansion in Bahrain is hitting the goddamn jackpot. But let's look at the objective facts. When it came to forging an independent life for yourself in New Zealand and Australia, you failed. You failed miserably. Given nearly every starting advantage (white, male, reasonable wealth) and living in a country that could charitably be described as "Easy Mode for the First World," you couldn't even keep your head above water. So now you've restyled yourself as some sort of boundary-pushing globetrotter, pretending that the reason why you flit about from country to country is because you have an insatiable desire to "experience life" and see the world, when in reality it's because you can't get laid regularly unless you pay for it and your entire life revolves around finding the cheapest possible whore to break it off in. Mischief Maker has an undergraduate degree in a hard science and a law degree. INC and pod people have strong marriages and families of their own. ICJ and Fussbett have steady jobs and lives they've built for themselves, without running to Mama and Papa every time an unexpected misfortune arises. Even Jhoh and Jsoh own their own home. I doubt any of them would exchange what they have now to sit in the middle of the desert alone with nothing but ping-pong, whores, and anti-Semitism to pass the time. Make no mistake: if you had popped your cherry in high school, you'd still be in New Zealand/Australia with your siblings. You'd probably still be a massive fuck-up, but at least you would have developed the ability to form something roughly approximating a genuine, healthy relationship with a female that didn't openly threaten to chop your dick off. Hard to imagine, I know. You'd have to recalibrate the Quétinbec subjective scale and everything. [quote]What the does "cry uncontrollably" mean? I'm as much in control of my tears as anyone is.[/quote] No, you're not. I'm in control of my tears. That's why I don't have any. Fussbett is in control of his tears. That's why he doesn't have any. You cry because some Taiwanese broad sends you a text where she claims to be in love with you. Setting aside the complete ridiculousness at anyone being emotionally moved by txtspk: if you're in control as you claim to be, that means you knowingly chose to cry at something that is, as pod people charitably phrased it, sad and banal. That's even worse than uncontrollable crying as far as I'm concerned. So which is it? Do you intentionally cry at stupid shit, or are you an uncontrollably weeping pussy? Either way, it's not a good look. [quote]So contrary to your bullshit, I'm not really sad, but I am scared I won't find someone nice to marry, and I'm scared I'll lose my job and have no way to return to this standard of living.[/quote] You shouldn't fear these things. Fearing the inevitable is pointless. No one nice will ever want to marry you. I know it's kind of brutal to say, but it doesn't make it any less true. I know you have this fantasy of stumbling upon this saintly beautiful poor brown girl and being redeemed and transformed by the purifying intensity of her love for you, but that's all it is: a fantasy. You're not Jennifer Lopez, and there's no shirtless Matthew McConau-gay coming to save you. Shit like that doesn't happen in the real world. Your selfishness, your greed, your gluttony, your self-sabotage -- all these things are a part of you. They're not diseases, they're symptoms of being Quétinbec. No one is going to cure you of your crippling personality flaws. Shit, you're more flaws than personality at this point. Even if the stars aligned and you managed to trick a "nice" person into marrying you, they'd leave you as soon as they realized what a horrible person you are. I know you think that she would be eternally grateful to you for elevating her out of the third world muck (and really, your colonialist white-man's-burden fantasies deserve extended examination on their own), but again, it doesn't work like that in the real world. Even Eddie Murphy knew that back in 1985. I WANT HALF, ED-DEE. As for your standard of living: I can sympathize with the concept that if you're going to be miserable, you might as well be miserable around some really nice things. But it's just stuff, Quentin. You'd think that by this point in your life, you'd realize the worthlessness of stuff compared to, you know, people. [quote]Last month someone offered me $45/hour to help mark some essays and I turned him down. In Australia, I would have cried with joy to get a job paying $15/hour gross. If I fuck this up, it's such a huge step down, and yet I talk so much shit and do many stupid things.[/quote] You know why that is, don't you? You sabotage yourself because deep down inside, in the darkest and most hidden part of yourself, you believe that you deserve to fail. The really fucked up thing about it is that you're right: <i>you do deserve it</i>.[/quote]