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by curst 10/07/2004, 11:03pm PDT |
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Nethack is the game that has convinced me that I never want to pay money for a video game based on pure random numbers.
I play a caveman. What happens if I don't manage to find any edible food? I die. How can I ensure that I get some edible food? WHOOPS I GUESS I CAN'T. Do I want to just eat every monster carcass I leave behind? That's my only option if I don't find "real" food, but chances are the corpse will be tainted and I'll suffer an irreversible death. Or I'll get poisoned and suffer HP damage and a loss of strength and NOT have my hunger satiated so that I'm still passing out, just in time for a monster to stroll up and slaughter me. Why not just say "GAME OVER" as soon as the game starts?
I play a knight. I do a good job of surviving. I manage to enchant my armor to +5, so I'm a veritable tank. I find a scroll. What does it do? How the fuck am I supposed to know without reading it? So I read it. BAM, my fantastic armor just disintegrated. Naturally at that very moment a horde of orcs or maybe an umber hulk or a dragon strolls into the room. I'm one million different kinds of dead. But at least I got a higher score than my caveman!
I play a valkyrie. I'm doing okay for the first few levels. I'm wandering around as per normal. "YOU ARE BLINDED BY A FLASH OF YELLOW LIGHT!" Thanks, and how am I supposed to avoid that again? I can't? I thought this was supposed to be an RPG or something? A few turns later. "BEING COMPLETELY BLIND, YOU HAVE JUST STUMBLED INTO A PIT, AND WHOA WHERE DID THIS JAGUAR COME FROM, YOU ARE NOW BEING ATTACKED THREE TIMES PER TURN." I get my ass kicked so harshly that even if you gave me an emergency ass transplant, I'd still suffer from a net deficit of one ass.
I play a tourist, and THROUGH NO FAULT OF MY OWN I'M ONCE AGAIN DEAD AFTER ABOUT SIX LEVELS OF EXPLORATION THANKS TO SOME TOTAL FUCKSHITTERY GODDAMN THIS IS THE STUPIDEST FUCKING GAME EVER.
It's a game of seemingly infinite "cool little touches", but you'll be lucky to see even one of them before dying. Pardon me while I return to Diablo 2 where, in lieu of the ability (worthless, I might add) to christen my sword "Orcrist" and get some obscure benefit, I can wander around slaughtering monsters with impunity while reaping the rewards of a great random-item system, a fun character-development system, great production values, and a plot that - while still being paper-thin - puts Nethack to shame.
Nethack would suck even if it didn't implement a staggeringly retarded save system. Which, true to its tradition of sucking, it does. |
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NetHack is gayness by foolio 10/07/2004, 10:14pm PDT 
Re: NetHack is gayness by curst 10/07/2004, 11:03pm PDT
This game can be simulated by taking thimbles and moving them on paper. by Creexul :( 10/08/2004, 12:21am PDT
Re: This game can be simulated by taking thimbles and moving them on paper. by anon 06/07/2005, 6:20pm PDT
Re: NetHack is gayness by Fussbett 10/08/2004, 12:31am PDT
Nethack is awesomeness by Daverd 10/08/2004, 1:05am PDT
Re: Nethack is awesomeness by anon 06/07/2005, 10:07pm PDT
Re: Nethack is awesomeness by Voyons Donc 06/08/2005, 11:10am PDT
Re: Nethack is awesomeness by Stu 03/18/2008, 3:21pm PDT
Re: NetHack is gayness by N 10/08/2004, 11:20pm PDT
Re: NetHack is gayness by anon 06/07/2005, 6:20pm PDT
Mischief Maker and I both hate it too. NT by whydirt 10/08/2004, 11:35pm PDT
Re: NetHack is gayness by anon 06/06/2005, 10:08pm PDT
Re: NetHack is gayness by mark 06/06/2005, 11:17pm PDT
Re: NetHack is gayness by Daverd 06/07/2005, 7:37am PDT
I so didn't reread this thread I didn't even notice the title of your post. NT by mark 06/07/2005, 9:25am PDT
Re: NetHack is gayness by anon 06/07/2005, 6:18pm PDT
Re: NetHack is gayness by anon 06/07/2005, 6:12pm PDT
"you're not hardcore enough for this game, go back to (simpler, more fun game)" NT by Defense of overrated indy games 06/07/2005, 1:23am PDT
Most arguments against nethack here are utter BS by Robsuke 07/11/2005, 3:00am PDT
I don't know shit about nethack, never played it, and it sucks. NT by Creexul :( 07/11/2005, 4:33am PDT
Re: Most arguments against nethack here are utter BS by Tony 07/11/2005, 4:40am PDT
Re: Most arguments against nethack here are utter BS by Robsuke 07/11/2005, 11:44am PDT
you're not hardcore enough for this game, go back to (simpler, more fun game) by Defense of overrated indy games 07/11/2005, 9:04am PDT
Re: Most arguments against nethack here are utter BS by Bill Dungsroman 07/11/2005, 12:32pm PDT
Re: Most arguments against nethack here are utter BS by Robsuke 07/15/2005, 6:37am PDT
Most arguments against nethack here are utter BS... BUT NOT ALL OF THEM! by Mischief Maker 07/11/2005, 5:10pm PDT
You're thinking about Nethack the wrong way by Daverd 07/11/2005, 7:51pm PDT
Lets put Nethack on a list with classic arcade games! by A Retarded Person 07/11/2005, 10:51pm PDT
Re: Lets put Nethack on a list with classic arcade games! by Daverd 07/11/2005, 11:21pm PDT
Re: Lets put Nethack on a list with classic arcade games! by bombMexico 07/11/2005, 11:53pm PDT
Re: Lets put Nethack on a list with classic arcade games! by Robsuke 07/15/2005, 6:31am PDT
Yeah, force everyone into "Ironman Mode", that's the ticket. by Worm 07/15/2005, 8:30am PDT
One more person to the pile officially makes this a gangrape by bombMexico 07/11/2005, 11:27pm PDT
Re: One more person to the pile officially makes this a gangrape by Robsuke 07/15/2005, 6:36am PDT
(actually, he's in denial about being 100% gay) NT by Robsuke's wife 07/15/2005, 7:25am PDT
Re: Most arguments against nethack here are utter BS by Entropy Stew 07/12/2005, 1:09am PDT
Re: Most arguments against nethack here are utter BS by Rafiki 07/12/2005, 12:13pm PDT
Re: Most arguments against nethack here are utter BS by Bill Dungsroman 07/12/2005, 1:20pm PDT
WHAT?! by Fussbett 07/12/2005, 3:31pm PDT
Jesus, did you drop your Molson or what? by Bill Dungsroman 07/12/2005, 10:05pm PDT
Re: Jesus, did you drop your Molson or what? by I need clarification 07/12/2005, 11:17pm PDT
OMG IT TAKES YOUR HALF INCH COCK 30 MINUTES TO RECOVER AHHAAA HA NT by BDRbot 07/12/2005, 3:49pm PDT
Re: Most arguments against nethack here are utter BS by laudablepuss 07/12/2005, 2:33pm PDT
Nethack is everything bad about cRPGs in your face with none of the good. by Mischief Maker 06/07/2005, 2:14pm PDT
Re: Nethack is everything bad about cRPGs in your face with none of the good. by Ice Cream Jonsey 06/07/2005, 2:59pm PDT
Also, as contracted by Ice Cream Jonsey 06/07/2005, 3:14pm PDT
Re: Nethack is everything bad about cRPGs in your face with none of the good. by anon 06/07/2005, 6:15pm PDT
Re: Nethack is everything bad about cRPGs in your face with none of the good. by Creexul :( 06/07/2005, 7:07pm PDT
Re: Nethack is everything bad about cRPGs in your face with none of the good. by Universal Plan B 06/07/2005, 7:38pm PDT
Re: Nethack is everything bad about cRPGs in your face with none of the good. by Creexul :( 06/07/2005, 7:43pm PDT
There are graphical frontends for nethack NT by Daverd 06/08/2005, 3:40pm PDT
Re: Nethack is everything bad about cRPGs in your face with none of the good. by Robsuke 07/11/2005, 3:17am PDT
video by Fussbett 07/11/2005, 5:27am PDT
you're not hardcore enough for this software go back to (simpler software) NT by Defense of overrated indy aps 07/11/2005, 9:05am PDT
Re: Nethack is everything bad about cRPGs in your face with none of the good. by Entropy Stew 07/12/2005, 2:37am PDT
Frawress Victory! NT by Thread announcer 07/12/2005, 6:00pm PDT
I enjoy fighting monsters, not your inventory/biological functions/interface by Mischief Philistine 06/11/2005, 8:08pm PDT
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