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| Re: HEY LAUDABLE, ARE YOU AN ORTON FAN NOW HURF HURF SNARF by Ice Cream Jonsey 04/03/2009, 4:38pm PDT | ||||
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| The trade got me to listen to local area sports-talk radio*, which I had successfully avoided doing since last summer. The type of people who call into these shows are still the dumbest humans in any community across America. The theory of one guy was that McDaniels wanted to trade Cutler, so Shanahan wouldn't come back in 2010. I know. I know!! The next guy started his call by ragging on that dude, and then came up with his own new level of batshit crazy nonsense.
I was sort of paying attention to all of it, because I find terrible decision making in sports fascinating, having been witness to the great majority of it with the teams I follow. Cutler and his fag of an agent wanted a new contract, and I'm sure Shanny promised him one. Then the new boss comes in and is kind of a prick, and that's funny, because we can relate to that in our own jobs. (Well, at least before this depression.) You know, you're in IT... you work your tail off for a few years... you're tight with your boss... he bolts to go to some place that is less of a shithole and some prick takes his job, and couldn't care less about your previous successes, he's an asshole just to be an asshole, so he can show everyone what a fucking take-no-shit asshole he is. Cutler may come off like a baby, but he's 25 and an eight-figure signing bonus was at stake. What's McDaniels's excuse? What's Bowlen's excuse? Keep in mind that I'd honestly cut off some fingers if that's what it took for Bowlen to swap franchises with Tom Benson. That being said, Cutler played him pretty well - the ENORMOUS disrespect of "not returning Bowlen's calls" made it a matter of pride. No football owner understand that people are there to see players - they honestly think dad brings his kids down to the stadium to see a well-run organization - so yeah, a trade had to be made, thanks to ego. Which was exactly what Cutler and his agent wanted. Cutler could throw for 3200 yards, 20 TDs and 20 picks next year, and it would be one of the greatest seasons a Bears QB has put up since World War II. More, they HAVE to extend him. You cannot give up two first-round picks for a guy and not extend him. Plus, the Broncos, er, sent him to his favorite team. I can't see how this could have worked out any better for Cutler. I mean, sure, people on the Internet think he's an overdramatic, tearful, diabetic with pussy blood (He PUNCHED out all my BLOOD), but he's going to have more money coming to him than all but a few thousand human beings who have ever walked the earth. People who have played Team Fortress 2 with me think I'm a baby, and I had to go to Google docs to make sure I could afford the remake of Another World. Here's the thing, though - there's like 12 fucking guys on the planet who can play quarterback in the NFL. I don't mean game managers or guys who don't fuck up, but guys who are actually good at it. Brady, Manning, Brees, Rivers, the other Manning, Palmer, McNabb, Roethlisberger, Warner, Rodgers, Ryan and Cutler. Probably one guy who will get drafted this month can do it, and nobody knows which one it will be. It honestly makes me fucking sick to watch most of the rest of the guys play quarterback. I don't see the problem with a different set of rules, or different way of handling guys who are so supremely talented, the best of the best. This is NFL2K5, not BioShock. I think Bowlen believes it's all about him, that he can't believe some kid would not text him back or respond to his tweets or whatever it was. Meanwhile, Bowlen would have had a third ring if he had a quarterback ready when Elway left, and he lucked into Cutler - certainly they would have grabbed Vince Young or Matt Leinart had they been there. Hell, you could make the argument that the Broncos lucked into Elway, seeing how in today's NFL he would have stayed in Baltimore. I don't think anyone comes off well in any of this. (Well, Bears fans do, they'll get to enjoy Cutler and keep their pride)(well, the ones that don't weigh 350 pounds get to keep their pride). But Cutler, while a piece of shit, at least will get what he wanted: more money. Assuming he doesn't blow out his knee in the Denver-Chicago pre-season game. Anyway, the person I am most concerned in all of this, laudable, is you. It's going to suck this season, because you don't have a quarterback and you DID. Kyle Orton is only a "starting QB" by definition: if the Bears knew how to develop one, Orton would have never played for them. It's going to stink, and it's going to suck, but maybe, in 15-20 years, you might get another franchise QB, in the meantime, you have good memories. I was 32 before I was able to root for someone playing the position really well. the dark and gritty...Ice Cream Jonsey! *Sharpe and that fascist Logan are miles ahead of the guys on the FM dial, though. I wish they had their own show and it wasn't a one-time thing. |
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