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| An AIM Log by mark 08/19/2005, 9:53pm PDT | ||||
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| INC: this was one from one of his last entries:
INC: I called my Dad crying earlier in the day. He called back later to ask about refrigerator parts. Seriously. The message is still on my phone. I am no longer asking for their help. INC: which I thought was hilarious mark yeah that was great mark The very concept of his father calling him to talk about fridge parts is awesome INC: FSBT: Yeah, Dad wins that battle. Crybaby son shuts up forever. INC: scribble: happy again (for now) INC: I think he likes being happy because it puts his darkest moments in better relief mark this is one of the most poorly written posts I have ever seen on livejournal mark lots of clever asides that aren't only clever but are a vortex of stupid mark I like when he compares himself to samson mark and then gives a shout out to his woman INC: and jokes about how he'll be remembered INC: though it's hard to imagine by whom mark craig, maybe INC: yeah, his true love INC: Doctor's can't confirm that it isn't brain inflammation mark he's given craig more verbal blowjobs than rachael has given italian men real ones INC: yeah, he idolizes the Shells author INC: this update is awesome INC: he's still dying, in some way INC: To return to how I was a week ago. Two weeks ago. INC: he got that part backwards mark yeah mark that's because he's terrible with english mark "like two hands holding"-- a line in the comments box yesterday made me want to puke mark I also like how it is unclear if he is actually dying or metaphorically dying at this point INC: I think because he's not clear INC: he's hoping it's real, but just in case he's also dying metaphorically INC: he's prepared for everything mark I've never seen someone get off so much on the possibility of their own death INC: yeah, except now there's not much left to accomplish INC: except keeping Rachael by his side constantly INC: and maybe not having to get a job mark yeah does he work at all? did you determine that from his blog? INC: it seemed like for some time he was living in NY INC: but maybe on his parents dime? mark oh yeah mark "crying through dinner, everyone ignored me" INC: "So, anyway, what's going at work, honey?" (mom to dad) INC: OH GOD THE TORMENT! WHY IS SHE IN ITALY?!" INC: "Not much. Johnson landed that big account." mark "Sales projects look good" INC: "That's nice, dear." INC: "DARKNESS ENSHROUDING ME! CLOSING IN!!!" INC: "What about you? Anything new going on at home?" mark MY DEATH IS LIKE A CLOAK HUNG AROUND MY EYES mark IT WOULD BE WARM EXCEPT HEARTBREAKING. EXCEPT mark I liked that period of time when his journal was just a list of symptoms read off of webmd mark I am hallucinating INC: haha the dangling "except" INC: the worst thing is the group of morons commenting constantly about how deep he is INC: and handsome mark Yeah it looks like he fled Buchenwald INC: crying the whole time mark "the biggest tragedy in this concentration camp is that my girlfriend is in ITALY" INC: "Luckily I've been writing poetry nonstop on the walls. The other inmates love me." mark other inmate to SS Guard: "Mind if I cut to the front of the line today?" mark I like when he described himself as a "world beater" mark I think a "fucking world beater" mark I guess with terrible poetry? INC: maybe he hangs out with BDR mark On the plus side he was once published in a student collection that featured a guest article from Rick Moody so plus plus INC: "I'm a world beater!" "23 Skidoo!" INC: "Let's go drink some Ovaltine." mark "I know how to have an old-timey good time" mark "I got this hoop and stick and everything" mark "also tuberculosis " INC: I got the black lung! brief dig at four20 mark Another entry about how he is crying on the phone INC: yeah mark haha, Mr. Marlboro listed " receiving blow jobs" as one of his interests INC: I don't know what this guy likes more - crying, or writing about it INC: haha INC: he's interested in that mark He's heard good things mark he's a member of "picturing_food" which I had to join as it's so stupid INC: taking pictures of food? INC: because he loves doing that mark yeah exactly INC: haha mark it's his only hobby mark http://www.livejournal.com/community/picturing_food/ INC: a whole community of Joe Yances mark people commenting things like "that looks good!" mark it's like a cookbook without any recipes mark I like this thread: mark http://www.livejournal.com/community/picturing_food/1581134.html mark someone made a grilled ham & cheese sandwich in a sandwich maker. Response? "WOW!!" INC: Scribble is cycling ultra-rapidly mark wow two new posts! mark the breakup post is BACK too, by the by INC: yeah, he's all over the place INC: the doctors aren't convinced it's brain inflammation mark "Has been a shot in the dark. & has by now failed utterly" INC: yeah, they haven't cured his made-up illness mark "NOOO GOD WHY?" INC: that's why he keeps saying he's not himself INC: himself could never be fine mark "Also we feel it necessary to note that you don't have AIDS" INC: "Or anything" INC: "If we find a cure for laziness, we'll let you know." mark jesus people, he's trying to die with dignity INC: yeah INC: let him crawl off to the hospital INC: Rachael is probably counting the days until she can give blowjobs without any remorse mark I think it is time I ask him what the current diagnosis is INC: I'm 100% sure there isn't one mark oh i know INC: if he answers, it will be more vagaries about inconclusive tests and grim-looking doctor faces mark haha you're right mark "The doctor just shook his head, the monster." INC: they don't know what it is, but they know it's BAD mark Right now, they think it is either that fire ants have been crawling up my nose and stinging my brain mark or that i'm so full of shit, it's cutting off blood flow mark either way, no brain and I'm a dead man :( mark I like how being given IVs makes him feel sucked dry INC: yeah, soon there will be posts about how he misses pizza or something INC: mixed in with the inevitable "mood: crying" posts mark Pizza, three cheese and italian sausage, don't leave me now when I need you the most mark you are my everything & i love you like two hands holding INC: haha INC: a pizza with everything except. Except. mark now scribble just has a post up that says "evil" INC: haha INC: he's hoping people will understand that he's lost too much of his mind to post sentences INC: or even sentence fragments mark BUT IS STILL ABLE TO USE LJ INC: somehow managed to log on mark holy fuck the scribble story just got good mark everything EXPLODES INC: yeah INC: amazing entry INC: trying to make construction workers laugh mark god has finally decided to kill him mark or at least torment him INC: I'm sure he was standing in front of the construction guy, crying and holding his orchid mark yeah INC: "AND YOU'RE HER TYPE, TOO!" mark "let my tears water you, replacement orchid *SOB*" INC: anyway, I have to fly to Utah now and find this guy mark yeah no kidding INC: I think he added some of it mark I think so too INC: because I don't remember the Andy Williams part from earlier INC: in fact, I saved it! INC: yeah, that's new mark but his writing is so poor the narrative is very loose mark is in nonexistent mark as in INC: except mark haha INC: I like that the message to Rachael in this post is "I bought you a flower but I;m too pathetic to even get it to you." INC: the present to her is a story of his latest disaster INC: including new brain-frying mark I'm sure his shrink was really torn up about him missing the session INC: yeah, it made his Friday INC: "Maybe he'll kill himself by Monday." INC: Scribble back up mark yeah with the worst day of his life INC: and he's deleting tonight FOREVER INC: because she left him for an insane reason mark "I woke up today with no reason to live." mark "Better to die quick while I can still remember happiness. " INC: wow, the comments! INC: from the worst day of his life post mark oh fuck this is funny INC: yeah, at least he's going out with a bang INC: we need to copy this down mark you'll pull through! mark reply: mark "can't" INC: ready further mark haha mark rachel thinks he fucked someone named housework INC: or at least talked to her too much INC: or maybe it's Craig? mark that would totally true mark at least they WANT to suck cocks INC: okay, I copied the journal and the posts pages from those two entries INC: because that has to be saved mark yeah that mark needs to be saved INC: his kind may not come through again for some time INC: I mean, there will always be whiny teens on LJ INC: but he was special mark is there a utility to completely spider and rip off someone's lj? INC: I dunno INC: I just Saved As mark http://ljbackup.yamnet.co.uk/ mark hmm I'd need his password to run this thing INC: try "Rachael" mark i did INC: try Craig INC: or "Pynchon" INC: or "Dylan" mark i tried craig first mark It's so great that he is basically saying he is going to kill himself INC: yeah, or let himself die INC: which I imagine will mean just sitting in his apartment all day forever mark ha him a housework are fighting some more mark "Look you didn't do anything wrong. Except for telling me to fuck off just now. I wish I could take back a harmless what two week internet flirtation? & I'm sure you do too. But there's nothing to be done about it. Christ. I wish she would just believe me that nothing happened that the whole reason nothing happened was because I told you I loved her too much to be with someone else. I wish she knew that we really don't talk. For all the obvious reason. I wish a lot of things. But there's nothing I can do about any of them." INC: (he's actually writing to Rachael) mark yeah no kidding INC: for a poet, he sure is a terrible writer INC: all he can ever say about Rachael is that he loves her "so much" mark I'm sort of willing to back Rachael if only for the fact that she isn't him INC: and "too much" mark so *fucking* much INC: yeah INC: he jsut really, really loves her mark he's a very modern poet INC: and a terrible one mark Where-as Eliot wrote Sweeney Erect describing the act of fucking, Scribble would just write "I having sex w/ rachel. she's hot & stuff." INC: well, he'd say more than that, but it wouldn't mean anything INC: "we made love last night. as much as the earth turns. and the stars shine. all. everything. it was just... us." INC: I'm sure he thinks he's a genius for being to write that shit off the cuff, but as I've just demonstrated, it's absolutely the easiest thing in the world INC: I just read a review of the latest Coldplay album, criticizing the lyrics, and they could have been talking about Scribble INC: "The taste in his mouth? Bitter. His head? In the sand. The sky? Crying." mark i think mark "Listening to Willie Nelson with you in the car. " mark is my favorite update ever INC: yeah INC: that was great INC: my favorite is calling dad crying and getting a call about fridge parts in return INC: "I STILL HAVE THE MESSAGE!!!" INC: Scribble, deleted again mark yeah mark She keeps breaking his HEART mark (I assume) INC: yeah, just now he knows better than to write about it hourly mark fucking like angels then fighting like cats & dogs mark Angels, of all creature, being known for fucking INC: yeah, that's how you want to fuck INC: I always assume he thinks that by saying "fucking like angels" instead of "making love like angels," it's somehow shocking INC: or more poetic INC: shows some sort of thought on his part mark He and craig think "fucking" makes it more real and more poetic mark because it's so raw INC: yeah, WOW! INC: fucking like angels INC: but still fighting (mundanely) like cats and dogs INC: I bet he sat for a while on that one INC: "Can I say that?" INC: "That doesn't seem like me..." INC: "What else fights?" INC: "Oil and water?" mark "me and dad?" INC: "Wolverines and cobras?" INC: "Spiders and octopi?" mark If he had said wolverines and cobras, I would have respected him much much more INC: also, I have a hard time believing they "fight" at all INC: I picture her trying to hang up the phone and him whining continuously mark haha scribble got the best comment ever INC: yeah, go rob a bank INC: crying to the tellers INC: "SHE LEFT ME!!!" mark as the security guard walks over and shoots him, quite precisely, right through the spine INC: the security guard would thwart the scheme by saying, "Hey, kid. Don't rob this bank." "Okay..." INC: what spine? |
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