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[quote name="mark"]<font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: this was one from one of his last entries: <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: I called my Dad crying earlier in the day. He called back later to ask about refrigerator parts. Seriously. The message is still on my phone. I am no longer asking for their help. <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: which I thought was hilarious <font color=lime>mark</font> yeah that was great <font color=lime>mark</font> The very concept of his father calling him to talk about fridge parts is awesome <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: FSBT: Yeah, Dad wins that battle. Crybaby son shuts up forever. <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: scribble: happy again (for now) <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: I think he likes being happy because it puts his darkest moments in better relief <font color=lime>mark</font> this is one of the most poorly written posts I have ever seen on livejournal <font color=lime>mark</font> lots of clever asides that aren't only clever but are a vortex of stupid <font color=lime>mark</font> I like when he compares himself to samson <font color=lime>mark</font> and then gives a shout out to his woman <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: and jokes about how he'll be remembered <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: though it's hard to imagine by whom <font color=lime>mark</font> craig, maybe <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: yeah, his true love <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: Doctor's can't confirm that it isn't brain inflammation <font color=lime>mark</font> he's given craig more verbal blowjobs than rachael has given italian men real ones <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: yeah, he idolizes the Shells author <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: this update is awesome <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: he's still dying, in some way <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: To return to how I was a week ago. Two weeks ago. <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: he got that part backwards <font color=lime>mark</font> yeah <font color=lime>mark</font> that's because he's terrible with english <font color=lime>mark</font> "like two hands holding"-- a line in the comments box yesterday made me want to puke <font color=lime>mark</font> I also like how it is unclear if he is actually dying or metaphorically dying at this point <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: I think because he's not clear <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: he's hoping it's real, but just in case he's also dying metaphorically <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: he's prepared for everything <font color=lime>mark</font> I've never seen someone get off so much on the possibility of their own death <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: yeah, except now there's not much left to accomplish <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: except keeping Rachael by his side constantly <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: and maybe not having to get a job <font color=lime>mark</font> yeah does he work at all? did you determine that from his blog? <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: it seemed like for some time he was living in NY <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: but maybe on his parents dime? <font color=lime>mark</font> oh yeah <font color=lime>mark</font> "crying through dinner, everyone ignored me" <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: "So, anyway, what's going at work, honey?" (mom to dad) <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: OH GOD THE TORMENT! WHY IS SHE IN ITALY?!" <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: "Not much. Johnson landed that big account." <font color=lime>mark</font> "Sales projects look good" <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: "That's nice, dear." <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: "DARKNESS ENSHROUDING ME! CLOSING IN!!!" <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: "What about you? Anything new going on at home?" <font color=lime>mark</font> MY DEATH IS LIKE A CLOAK HUNG AROUND MY EYES <font color=lime>mark</font> IT WOULD BE WARM EXCEPT HEARTBREAKING. EXCEPT <font color=lime>mark</font> I liked that period of time when his journal was just a list of symptoms read off of webmd <font color=lime>mark</font> I am hallucinating <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: haha the dangling "except" <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: the worst thing is the group of morons commenting constantly about how deep he is <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: and handsome <font color=lime>mark</font> Yeah it looks like he fled Buchenwald <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: crying the whole time <font color=lime>mark</font> "the biggest tragedy in this concentration camp is that my girlfriend is in ITALY" <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: "Luckily I've been writing poetry nonstop on the walls. The other inmates love me." <font color=lime>mark</font> other inmate to SS Guard: "Mind if I cut to the front of the line today?" <font color=lime>mark</font> I like when he described himself as a "world beater" <font color=lime>mark</font> I think a "fucking world beater" <font color=lime>mark</font> I guess with terrible poetry? <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: maybe he hangs out with BDR <font color=lime>mark</font> On the plus side he was once published in a student collection that featured a guest article from Rick Moody so plus plus <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: "I'm a world beater!" "23 Skidoo!" <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: "Let's go drink some Ovaltine." <font color=lime>mark</font> "I know how to have an old-timey good time" <font color=lime>mark</font> "I got this hoop and stick and everything" <font color=lime>mark</font> "also tuberculosis " <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: I got the black lung! <i> brief dig at four20</i> <font color=lime>mark</font> Another entry about how he is crying on the phone <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: yeah <font color=lime>mark</font> haha, Mr. Marlboro listed " receiving blow jobs" as one of his interests <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: I don't know what this guy likes more - crying, or writing about it <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: haha <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: he's interested in that <font color=lime>mark</font> He's heard good things <font color=lime>mark</font> he's a member of "picturing_food" which I had to join as it's so stupid <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: taking pictures of food? <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: because he loves doing that <font color=lime>mark</font> yeah exactly <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: haha <font color=lime>mark</font> it's his only hobby <font color=lime>mark</font> <a href="http://www.livejournal.com/community/picturing_food/">http://www.livejournal.com/community/picturing_food/</a> <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: a whole community of Joe Yances <font color=lime>mark</font> people commenting things like "that looks good!" <font color=lime>mark</font> it's like a cookbook without any recipes <font color=lime>mark</font> I like this thread: <font color=lime>mark</font> <a href="http://www.livejournal.com/community/picturing_food/1581134.html">http://www.livejournal.com/community/picturing_food/1581134.html</a> <font color=lime>mark</font> someone made a grilled ham & cheese sandwich in a sandwich maker. Response? "WOW!!" <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: Scribble is cycling ultra-rapidly <font color=lime>mark</font> wow two new posts! <font color=lime>mark</font> the breakup post is BACK too, by the by <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: yeah, he's all over the place <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: the doctors aren't convinced it's brain inflammation <font color=lime>mark</font> "Has been a shot in the dark. & has by now failed utterly" <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: yeah, they haven't cured his made-up illness <font color=lime>mark</font> "NOOO GOD WHY?" <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: that's why he keeps saying he's not himself <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: himself could never be fine <font color=lime>mark</font> "Also we feel it necessary to note that you don't have AIDS" <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: "Or anything" <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: "If we find a cure for laziness, we'll let you know." <font color=lime>mark</font> jesus people, he's trying to die with dignity <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: yeah <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: let him crawl off to the hospital <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: Rachael is probably counting the days until she can give blowjobs without any remorse <font color=lime>mark</font> I think it is time I ask him what the current diagnosis is <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: I'm 100% sure there isn't one <font color=lime>mark</font> oh i know <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: if he answers, it will be more vagaries about inconclusive tests and grim-looking doctor faces <font color=lime>mark</font> haha you're right <font color=lime>mark</font> "The doctor just shook his head, the monster." <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: they don't know what it is, but they know it's BAD <font color=lime>mark</font> Right now, they think it is either that fire ants have been crawling up my nose and stinging my brain <font color=lime>mark</font> or that i'm so full of shit, it's cutting off blood flow <font color=lime>mark</font> either way, no brain and I'm a dead man :( <font color=lime>mark</font> I like how being given IVs makes him feel sucked dry <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: yeah, soon there will be posts about how he misses pizza or something <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: mixed in with the inevitable "mood: crying" posts <font color=lime>mark</font> Pizza, three cheese and italian sausage, don't leave me now when I need you the most <font color=lime>mark</font> you are my everything & i love you like two hands holding <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: haha <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: a pizza with everything except. Except. <font color=lime>mark</font> now scribble just has a post up that says "evil" <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: haha <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: he's hoping people will understand that he's lost too much of his mind to post sentences <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: or even sentence fragments <font color=lime>mark</font> BUT IS STILL ABLE TO USE LJ <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: somehow managed to log on <font color=lime>mark</font> holy fuck the scribble story just got good <font color=lime>mark</font> everything EXPLODES <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: yeah <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: amazing entry <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: trying to make construction workers laugh <font color=lime>mark</font> god has finally decided to kill him <font color=lime>mark</font> or at least torment him <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: I'm sure he was standing in front of the construction guy, crying and holding his orchid <font color=lime>mark</font> yeah <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: "AND YOU'RE HER TYPE, TOO!" <font color=lime>mark</font> "let my tears water you, replacement orchid *SOB*" <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: anyway, I have to fly to Utah now and find this guy <font color=lime>mark</font> yeah no kidding <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: I think he added some of it <font color=lime>mark</font> I think so too <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: because I don't remember the Andy Williams part from earlier <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: in fact, I saved it! <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: yeah, that's new <font color=lime>mark</font> but his writing is so poor the narrative is very loose <font color=lime>mark</font> is in nonexistent <font color=lime>mark</font> as in <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: except <font color=lime>mark</font> haha <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: I like that the message to Rachael in this post is "I bought you a flower but I;m too pathetic to even get it to you." <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: the present to her is a story of his latest disaster <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: including new brain-frying <font color=lime>mark</font> I'm sure his shrink was really torn up about him missing the session <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: yeah, it made his Friday <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: "Maybe he'll kill himself by Monday." <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: Scribble back up <font color=lime>mark</font> yeah with the worst day of his life <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: and he's deleting tonight FOREVER <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: because she left him for an insane reason <font color=lime>mark</font> "I woke up today with no reason to live." <font color=lime>mark</font> "Better to die quick while I can still remember happiness. " <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: wow, the comments! <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: from the worst day of his life post <font color=lime>mark</font> oh fuck this is funny <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: yeah, at least he's going out with a bang <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: we need to copy this down <font color=lime>mark</font> you'll pull through! <font color=lime>mark</font> reply: <font color=lime>mark</font> "can't" <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: ready further <font color=lime>mark</font> haha <font color=lime>mark</font> rachel thinks he fucked someone named housework <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: or at least talked to her too much <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: or maybe it's Craig? <font color=lime>mark</font> that would totally true <font color=lime>mark</font> at least they WANT to suck cocks <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: okay, I copied the journal and the posts pages from those two entries <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: because that has to be saved <font color=lime>mark</font> yeah that <font color=lime>mark</font> needs to be saved <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: his kind may not come through again for some time <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: I mean, there will always be whiny teens on LJ <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: but he was special <font color=lime>mark</font> is there a utility to completely spider and rip off someone's lj? <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: I dunno <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: I just Saved As <font color=lime>mark</font> http://ljbackup.yamnet.co.uk/ <font color=lime>mark</font> hmm I'd need his password to run this thing <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: try "Rachael" <font color=lime>mark</font> i did <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: try Craig <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: or "Pynchon" <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: or "Dylan" <font color=lime>mark</font> i tried craig first <font color=lime>mark</font> It's so great that he is basically saying he is going to kill himself <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: yeah, or let himself die <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: which I imagine will mean just sitting in his apartment all day forever <font color=lime>mark</font> ha him a housework are fighting some more <font color=lime>mark</font> "Look you didn't do anything wrong. Except for telling me to fuck off just now. I wish I could take back a harmless what two week internet flirtation? & I'm sure you do too. But there's nothing to be done about it. Christ. I wish she would just believe me that nothing happened that the whole reason nothing happened was because I told you I loved her too much to be with someone else. I wish she knew that we really don't talk. For all the obvious reason. I wish a lot of things. But there's nothing I can do about any of them." <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: (he's actually writing to Rachael) <font color=lime>mark</font> yeah no kidding <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: for a poet, he sure is a terrible writer <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: all he can ever say about Rachael is that he loves her "so much" <font color=lime>mark</font> I'm sort of willing to back Rachael if only for the fact that she isn't him <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: and "too much" <font color=lime>mark</font> so *fucking* much <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: yeah <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: he jsut really, really loves her <font color=lime>mark</font> he's a very modern poet <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: and a terrible one <font color=lime>mark</font> Where-as Eliot wrote Sweeney Erect describing the act of fucking, Scribble would just write "I having sex w/ rachel. she's hot & stuff." <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: well, he'd say more than that, but it wouldn't mean anything <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: "we made love last night. as much as the earth turns. and the stars shine. all. everything. it was just... us." <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: I'm sure he thinks he's a genius for being to write that shit off the cuff, but as I've just demonstrated, it's absolutely the easiest thing in the world <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: I just read a review of the latest Coldplay album, criticizing the lyrics, and they could have been talking about Scribble <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: "The taste in his mouth? Bitter. His head? In the sand. The sky? Crying." <font color=lime>mark</font> i think <font color=lime>mark</font> "Listening to Willie Nelson with you in the car. " <font color=lime>mark</font> is my favorite update ever <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: yeah <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: that was great <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: my favorite is calling dad crying and getting a call about fridge parts in return <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: "I STILL HAVE THE MESSAGE!!!" <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: Scribble, deleted again <font color=lime>mark</font> yeah <font color=lime>mark</font> She keeps breaking his HEART <font color=lime>mark</font> (I assume) <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: yeah, just now he knows better than to write about it hourly <font color=lime>mark</font> fucking like angels then fighting like cats & dogs <font color=lime>mark</font> Angels, of all creature, being known for fucking <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: yeah, that's how you want to fuck <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: I always assume he thinks that by saying "fucking like angels" instead of "making love like angels," it's somehow shocking <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: or more poetic <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: shows some sort of thought on his part <font color=lime>mark</font> He and craig think "fucking" makes it more real and more poetic <font color=lime>mark</font> because it's so raw <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: yeah, WOW! <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: fucking like angels <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: but still fighting (mundanely) like cats and dogs <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: I bet he sat for a while on that one <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: "Can I say that?" <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: "That doesn't seem like me..." <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: "What else fights?" <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: "Oil and water?" <font color=lime>mark</font> "me and dad?" <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: "Wolverines and cobras?" <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: "Spiders and octopi?" <font color=lime>mark</font> If he had said wolverines and cobras, I would have respected him much much more <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: also, I have a hard time believing they "fight" at all <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: I picture her trying to hang up the phone and him whining continuously <font color=lime>mark</font> haha scribble got the best comment ever <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: yeah, go rob a bank <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: crying to the tellers <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: "SHE LEFT ME!!!" <font color=lime>mark</font> as the security guard walks over and shoots him, quite precisely, right through the spine <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: the security guard would thwart the scheme by saying, "Hey, kid. Don't rob this bank." "Okay..." <font color=DarkSalmon >INC</font>: what spine?[/quote]