Caltrops - The Zionist Media Conspiracy

Forum Overview :: The Zionist Media Conspiracy

by Poison 06/21/2003, 6:24pm PDT

Wacky Willy wrote:

Well first you'd take out all the traps. Who needs that nasty tension over whether entering the next room will get you killed or not?

Didnt you say people got chopped up by bad CGI effects? What about those?

Okay! You're on a roll now! Remember how in the first one every character had a certain skill that was necessary to everyone's escaping?

What was the middle-aged woman and black man's usefulness? The only people who seemed useful were the thief that got killed early on, the girl for her math, and the retard savant for his computer math savantness.

Not in this one! And remember how the character who was initially set up to be the hero turns into a psycho killer in the first? Well none of that jerking around with the audience in this one! It's telegraphed from the beginning that the paranoid guy with the knife, (played by a very doughy version of the guy from Forever Knight) will turn into a cannibal psychopath.

See now that's one thing I hated about the original. Nothing kills a horror movie more for me than having the characters start fighting amongst themselves; extra piss me off points if the in-fighting is both unnecessary and instrumental to fucking them all over (we would have been fine if we hadnt been arguing! We needs a mysterious evil force to cause trouble in horror movies anyways?). Having a character totally snap and go crazy out of fear is the same thing. What made Pitch Black gay was that it contained ALL these things. An interesting concept was made gay by the collector/dealer guy fucking them all over by freaking over the fact that they were surrounded by monsters and darkness. He dealt with this fact by madly crawling AWAY from the light and INTO the darkness where all the monsters were. I don't care how madly crazy you go or how bad you snap, that was just stupid. Oops all the characters would have been fine except that Freakout McSpaz just broke the generator and our plentiful source of light is gone. Oh yeah and this PMSing chick (who we were supposed to think was a boy???) is the reason all the monsters are following us. Tension in horror movies should come from the threat, not from the characters you're supposed to not want to die. I think that's why Event Horizon was the last horror movie I've really liked in a long time. It didn't have any of the above crappy elements and none of the characters screamed "PLZ KILL ME!"; the black guy actually survives, who would have thought.

What's left to piss the audience off? How about an ending that explains the nature of the cubes in the lamest X-files fanfic manner possible?

Along with the black guy flipping out, the ending is what pissed me off the most about the original. End the movie with a gay open ended nothing. Not a "roll your own interpretation" open ended, but just a "we're not going to bother giving you any ending or closure whatsoever" open ended (that was also Silent Hill's weakest point). If it hadn't been for those two things I would have really liked Cube for being a nifty, low budget effort. That said, it's still by far the best Sci-Fi channel original movie, if that's worth anything.

P.S. I'd bet anything that the Resident Evil movie stole the whole *SPOILER* "trapped room dicing a guy with lasers/wires and delaying his falling apart into cubes (the IRONY!)" thing from this movie.