Caltrops - Gamerasutra - No, me!! I'm teh gay!!

Forum Overview :: Gamerasutra

by I need clarification 05/22/2003, 4:50pm PDT

First off - Quest For the Rings is the name of the Odyssey game. Know how I know? As you describe it, you're looking (or "questing") for rings (or "rings"). But at least you got "AND" wrong, fag.

TAIL GUNNER - Apple ][ - I used to go down to the VA Hospital where my dad worked and play this nonstop on the Apple ][ they had there. It was an unlicensed Star Wars game - you tried to center TIE Fighters in your crosshairs and then shoot them. Why did they have an Apple ][? They were working on a new way to train women to do breast (HURR HURR) self-examination to promote early detection and treatment of breast cancer. Result: their start-up went belly-up, I now make a living making video games. Winner: me. Loser: doctor nerds, women's breasts.

M.A.C.H. III - Laser disc fighter/bomber pilot game. I thought this was the greatest goddamned thing ever invented by anyone. Also, the first $1.00 arcade game, it sucked up my allowance and lawn-mowing money (converted into tokens) faster than Michael Cimino with a movie camera and two giant nostrils. Result: I bought a full sit-down cabinet version of the game a few years ago and installed it in my apartment. It took up an entire wall of my living room, and when I plugged it in, it shorted out the power in the entire building. Winner: The guy on eBay who told me it was working. Loser: lots of perishable groceries, one splintered M.A.C.H. III cabinet when I accidentally demolished it trying to get it the hell out of my apartment, minus the two illegal Mexican day-laborers I'd originally hired to help get it in. Luckily, the neighbor had a crowbar.

M.A.C.H. 2.5 - My first attempt to make a game that wasn't copied verbatim from a Bill Budge article. My friends and I had some sort of sprite animation program and made little sprites the approximated the shape and size of the MACH III sprite plane. Still on the to-do list to this day: how to get the sprites to correspond to joystick input, laser-disc interface, targeting system, bullet, missle, bomb, and explosion sprites. Expected release date: Spring 2003.

TREASURES OF THE DEEP - My first professional gig. Hired as an intern, I took a pay cut from my previous high-profile job which involved working with such Hollywood big-shots as Jodie Foster, Gale Anne Hurd, and Anthony Edwards. When I say "working with," I mean "taking their orders, bringing them their food, refilling their coffee, telling them to have a nice day/evening as they left the restaurant." Soon, though, I worked my way up to "bubble boy," creating a bubble sprite for this ingenious and exciting underwater exploration/action game. By the end of my tenure at the company, I was modeling and texturing fish, coral, more fish - you name it! Result: less dignity than being waiter, but the start of a long and ignomious career. Winner: Thousands of PSX owners who never bought the game, me. Loser: Well, there were no losers, were there?

To be continued...