Forum Overview :: The Zionist Media Conspiracy

The Dark Knight Rises (to preemptively claim the Porn Name) by Mischief Maker 07/20/2012, 5:44pm PDT Nonspoiler Section: If you're in the crowd that preferred Batman Begins to the Dark Knight, you'll probably love this movie.* If you're in the crowd that preferred the Dark Knight, you'll probably be disappointed. Anne Hathaway is the blandest, most un-sexy forgettable catwoman ever put on screen. Spoiler Section. * ...because this is the same goddamn movie Ancient society of Ninjas really want to destroy Gotham City for no other reason than it's their duty. Their master plan involves stealing a technobabble doodad weapon of mass destruction from Wayne Enterprises and using it to nuke Gotham. Batman is once again a clumsy fuckup who must master his fear to be able to stop an effeminate supervillain who is secretly working for the ninjas. Batman hates fish. The end. This film goes way too many places and has way too many characters doing way too many things and spread across so many locales that it all becomes this confusing time-lapsing morass. I'm not a comics reader, but based on this film and the Wikipedia summary, I've got to say Bane is incredibly boring. Just take Doomsday, give him a voice that makes him sound like the bastard lovechild of Darth Vader and C-3PO and call it a day. Not only do we have a 90-lb waif kicking the crap out of 250 pound goons left and right, but she instantly knows how to drive Batman's secret military tech batbike complete with its crazy free-rotating wheels and rolls her eyes when batman tries giving her directions. You know, in Conan the Barbarian, Valeria was totally convincing as an action badass without her constantly outdoing and rolling her eyes at Conan. Why is it in modern films, female action heroes need to be magical? I was totally prepared for Anne Hathaway to surprise me with unexpected depths of sultry sexuality we've never seen out of her before. Nope. She has so little chemistry with Batman every time she kisses him it's a complete shock. In a "why did she just do that?" kind of way. I thought the Bat Bike was supposed to be some emergency escape vehicle from the superior Batmobile. Why is it exploding Batmobiles left and right? Especially when the Bat Copter barely makes a dent? Oh right, because a strong female character is driving it. Ultimately I think the film suffers from trying to do everything the Dark Knight did bigger and better, but missed the fact that it wasn't the size of the crises in Dark Knight that made them so harrowing. Remember, in TDK's ultimate climax, the only people at risk were the passengers of 2 ferries. They were harrowing because these situations were relatable. I can relate to taking a commute and finding out that a lunatic has booby trapped the boat. I can relate to sitting on a schoolbus and having a machinegun wielding terrorist jump onboard and take us hostage. I can't relate to watching a football game and seeing the entire field collapse without the players even noticing. I can't relate to Chicago being placed under a stalinist regime, complete with kangaroo courts. (subtext: see what would happen if the occupy movement gets its way???) The weakest of the three, in my opinion.

The Dark Knight Rises (to preemptively claim the Porn Name) by Mischief Maker 07/20/2012, 5:44pm PDT     So it's fair to say, NT by you weren't BLOWN AWAY by it? 07/20/2012, 6:16pm PDT         deadmau5 really doesn't appreciate this sort of humor by Worm 07/21/2012, 10:33am PDT             Is his name a humorous riff on "Holocaust Maus?" NT by Mischief Maker 07/21/2012, 10:45am PDT     It doesn't help that Bale is a fucking horrible Batman, and that his suit looks by Eurotrash 07/20/2012, 9:18pm PDT         His main contribution is changing Bruce Wayne from Hugh Hefner to Paris Hilton. NT by Mischief Maker 07/21/2012, 8:37am PDT         Actually I'll disagree with you slightly by Mischief Maker 07/25/2012, 5:12am PDT     So it all depends on how much of an Alex Jones fascist you are? by fabio 07/20/2012, 10:51pm PDT     The Dark Knight is Risible by Vested Id 07/21/2012, 4:21pm PDT         Oh there's more than that. *spoilerz* by Mischief Maker 07/21/2012, 5:02pm PDT             A couple more I missed. by Mischief Maker 07/22/2012, 5:47am PDT                 Re: A couple more I missed. by Vested Id 07/22/2012, 10:55pm PDT                 Re: A couple more I missed. by Vested Id 07/24/2012, 12:04am PDT             X-men's gay agenda! I've cracked the cooooode! by Mischief Theorist 07/24/2012, 9:51am PDT                 Meanwhile, 300 is about the righteous struggle of Ex-Gays to stay in the closet. NT by Mischief Maker 07/24/2012, 12:06pm PDT     Bootleg video of TDKR's ending by Mischief Maker 07/23/2012, 7:26am PDT     Re: The Dark Knight Rises (to preemptively claim the Porn Name) by Ice Cream Jonsey 09/02/2012, 11:57am PDT         You've just been starved for Catwoman by MM 09/02/2012, 7:15pm PDT             Re: You've just been starved for Catwoman by Vested Id 09/02/2012, 8:06pm PDT                 Who said anything about complexity? by MM 09/02/2012, 10:08pm PDT                     Agreed re: insane Batman. Bring that guy back! NT by laudablepuss 09/03/2012, 1:23am PDT                 This level of dislike is totally disproportionate to the movie. by laudablepuss 09/03/2012, 1:21am PDT                     Re: This level of dislike is totally disproportionate to the movie. by Mysterioso 09/06/2012, 12:51pm PDT             Re: You've just been starved for Catwoman by Ice Cream Jonsey 09/02/2012, 11:14pm PDT                 Hold on, I don't care if Burton raped your mom and unplugged your fortune teller by he still made Ed Wood. 09/03/2012, 1:26am PDT                     Yeah, other than the inexplicable omission of poo mortars in POTA he's pretty go NT by laudablepuss 09/03/2012, 1:26am PDT                         (I can't seem to locate the awesome post I stole that joke from.) by laudablepuss 09/03/2012, 1:30am PDT                     Hold on, I don't care if Burton raped your mom and unplugged your fortune teller by Ice Cream Jonsey 09/03/2012, 3:19pm PDT                         For discussion: what percent of the "Burton aesthetic" is Danny Elfman? by Fullofkittens 09/03/2012, 4:52pm PDT                             Counterargument: John Williams couldn't save the Star Wars prequels. NT by Mischief Maker 09/03/2012, 5:34pm PDT                                 Williams wasn't the only guy who didn't turn in his best work for the prequels. by Fullofkittens 09/03/2012, 6:55pm PDT                                     You misunderstand. I consider his score the only good thing about the prequels. NT by But it still wasn't enough. 09/03/2012, 7:11pm PDT                             Given that his best movie was scored by Cronenberg's guy, I'm going to say... NT by 0%? 09/03/2012, 8:31pm PDT                 Re: You've just been starved for Catwoman by Tansin A. Darcos (TDARCOS) 09/03/2012, 8:19am PDT                     Whoops. NT by Ator Maker 09/03/2012, 8:24am PDT                     For some of the above post to make sense you have to pretend Pee Wee's Big Adven NT by was a small indie film, not a Warne 09/03/2012, 10:39am PDT