Caltrops - Peter Molyneux's The Movies





	[quote name="Mischief Maker"]Nonspoiler Section: If you're in the crowd that preferred Batman Begins to the Dark Knight, you'll probably love this movie.* If you're in the crowd that preferred the Dark Knight, you'll probably be disappointed. Anne Hathaway is the blandest, most un-sexy forgettable catwoman ever put on screen. Spoiler Section. * ...because this is the same goddamn movie Ancient society of Ninjas really want to destroy Gotham City for no other reason than it's their duty. Their master plan involves stealing a technobabble doodad weapon of mass destruction from Wayne Enterprises and using it to nuke Gotham. Batman is once again a clumsy fuckup who must master his fear to be able to stop an effeminate supervillain who is secretly working for the ninjas. Batman hates fish. The end. This film goes way too many places and has way too many characters doing way too many things and spread across so many locales that it all becomes this confusing time-lapsing morass. I'm not a comics reader, but based on this film and the Wikipedia summary, I've got to say Bane is incredibly boring. Just take <A HREF="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0PlwDbSYicM">Doomsday</A>, give him a voice that makes him sound like the bastard lovechild of Darth Vader and C-3PO and call it a day. Not only do we have a 90-lb waif kicking the crap out of 250 pound goons left and right, but she instantly knows how to drive Batman's secret military tech batbike complete with its crazy free-rotating wheels and rolls her eyes when batman tries giving her directions. You know, in Conan the Barbarian, Valeria was totally convincing as an action badass without her constantly outdoing and rolling her eyes at Conan. Why is it in modern films, female action heroes need to be magical? I was totally prepared for Anne Hathaway to surprise me with unexpected depths of sultry sexuality we've never seen out of her before. Nope. She has so little chemistry with Batman every time she kisses him it's a complete shock. In a "why did she just do that?" kind of way. I thought the Bat Bike was supposed to be some emergency escape vehicle from the superior Batmobile. Why is it exploding Batmobiles left and right? Especially when the Bat Copter barely makes a dent? Oh right, because a strong female character is driving it. Ultimately I think the film suffers from trying to do everything the Dark Knight did bigger and better, but missed the fact that it wasn't the size of the crises in Dark Knight that made them so harrowing. Remember, in TDK's ultimate climax, the only people at risk were the passengers of 2 ferries. They were harrowing because these situations were <U>relatable</U>. I can relate to taking a commute and finding out that a lunatic has booby trapped the boat. I can relate to sitting on a schoolbus and having a machinegun wielding terrorist jump onboard and take us hostage. I can't relate to watching a football game and seeing the entire field collapse without the players even noticing. I can't relate to Chicago being placed under a stalinist regime, complete with kangaroo courts. (subtext: see what would happen if the occupy movement gets its way???) The weakest of the three, in my opinion.[/quote]