Aww! Stabby violated the Tao of Steve.by Mischief Maker 02/19/2010, 5:27pm PST
Ever see that movie? It's about a fat pig stoner who works part-time as a kindergarten teacher who nonetheless is constantly getting laid with beautiful women. His secret is a set of rules called the Tao of Steve. Unfortunately the movie isn't very good because it's directed by a woman so in the end the fatty meets a woman who the Tao doesn't work on, and he ends up spending the whole movie chasing after her, dumping all his other girlfriends, rejecting the Tao of Steve, and becoming her dickless committed boyfriend by the end. A much better version of this same story (with tits) was done years later in the french film Secret Things.
Still, thanks to the wonder of Youtube, I can provide you with all the parts of the movie worth watching right here:
I fucking knew you were going to fall for Stabby the moment you said she jumped out of bed and asked to play ping pong. It didn't matter that you'd just boned her. After dozens of beautiful whores who begged you to marry them, here was one that didn't even bother pretending you were good in the sack. Then she confirmed that she found you repulsive by doing her namesake stabbing pantomime? Fucking accidental genius. You were in the palm of her hand, inviting her over to stay in your nice apartment to sleep off a cold and she returns the favor by trying to burn your dick off with hot tea.
She kisses me on each cheek and shakes my hand and asks me how I'm doing right in front of this Arab. If I was the Arab, I would have been fucking pissed because I've been in his situation before and I found it very disrespectful, so the whole thing made me uncomfortable. I walked back to my seat and she followed me. She asked me if my apartment was still empty and I told her it was and she could come stay after she finishes work at 2am (although my intention was to visit the mega whore bar at 2 so I asked her to text first tonight).
She went back to the Arab, but I watched her and she kept glancing back at me, which I thougth was sweet. I let her catch me looking at her.
But sadly for her, she is a whore and does not understand the game. She's sweet and neglects a paying client in your favor and by the end of the night you've wandered off to fuck the better looking whore. If she'd brushed you off all night, or even given you permission to fuck the pretty whore with the caveat that she didn't think this whole spending a week at your apartment thing was going to work out, not only would you have not fucked pretty whore, it's a good chance that Skinflint McCheapskate QB would have gotten into a bidding war with the Arab for her affections.
If it's any consolation, pretty whore is worse at the Tao than Stabby, regaling you with a bullshit tale of how if she doesn't fuck and suck $50,000 by the end of the month, she will never find true love and El Butcho will close the orphanage. Fuck, Peach! For the Children! But she's pretty and that can make up for ineptitude. She even tried using her power to help Stabby, "an evil old whore stole $600 from her, is there no White knight out there who can help her? *WINK* *WINK*
