 |
||
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
| Korea Part 3 by Quétinbec 06/26/2009, 8:41pm PDT | ||||
 |
 |
|||
| Most of us came because they said we could get a master's degree if we were there for a year. Instead, we got three hours/week of Korean language tuition and a fat Canadian who volunteered to teach us Korean history because he was lonely. In Korean history class, I learned that girls at his old Polytechnic sucked his dick for a pass and he once ate horse meat in Japan.
After 6 months of that bullshit, 4 of the other foreign "students" left. Me and homo threatened to leave if they didn't give us more money (I'd racked up $5k debt over the first 6 months) and more isolation from the Koreans. They wouldn't give us more money, but they gave us more flights and a room together with a locked door! In exchange, we said we'd try to recruit foreign students to replace those that had left. How do you sell a bullshit program like that, though? Remembering, if you lied, you'd be sharing a room with the applicants you lied to. And if you tell them the awful truth, only freaks would accept, so you'd be sharing a room with freaks. I had a friend coming over, so that meant three of our four beds were taken. We wanted a spare bed for anyone sleeping over, so we decided to sabotage any effort to recruit foreigners as much as we could. We had to show the Koreans the ads we put on internet teaching boards because they cost $300, so unfortunately, we couldn't keep people away by straight up bitching the place out like it deserved. Instead, we used language that we thought would scare off any sensible Westerner but not set off alarms with Korean admin. Stuff like: "Study" at the "English Village" in Korea! Would you like to "live" in Korea? Maybe you'd like to "live" here for "$150/week". Share a room with "lively" Korean students. You can learn Korean if you want. It's "great" in Korea. Hahah! Stuff like that. We got away with so many scare quotes because they thought they were like asterisks which they use to advertise *****everything****** in ***KOREA***. But the amount of retards that saw those bullshit ads as an opportunity! The emails went through to one of the girls who worked for the director of foreign studies so we couldn't lie to them that there was no interest. So, we got anyone interested on IM ASAP and scared them off in private. We were successful in all cases except one: a freakshow from somewhere in the American midwest. He was ~21 and halfway through a library studies degree despite having been at university for three years. We didn't even know him, but he told us over IM that he was a virgin and NOT TO WORRY because was bringing lots of condoms because he heard they were small over there. We were freaking out because he kept talking to admin through email, so we'd try to discourage him over IM and then and he'd go to them for confirmation, so Koreans got wind that we were bitching the place out and we had to tone our shit down (not that it mattered with that freak) and consequently, he accepted. When he arrived, he was put in a separate room downstairs with the intention of moving in with us later, but his freakishness proved too high for that to be acceptable. The homo told our director that if the American moved in with us, he'd leave. The director respected the homo because although he was born in Australia but was ethnically Malaysian and looked Korean. 
That's him in the centre. To his right was his Vietnamese boyfriend at the time and to his left is the world's strongest man. The American was a virgin and wanted to have sex with a prostitute, and this made him important to me because I wanted to fuck prostitutes too (but without feeling dirty), but because my best friend there was homosexual, it was difficult to work brothels into an evening. The American was completely shameless about whoring. He just wanted a ride to a brothel. I needed alcohol and was hoping it could happen naturally. I convinced the homo to let the American come along one night. We took him to a Karaoke room. They have girls there who'll come and sing with you for money and suck your dick too apparently. Perfect situation. Push drinks on him, get a girl in there, and have him sucked off in front of everyone. Hilarious at the very least! Except he didn't drink and took the singing very seriously. Anyone who gets a microphone put in their hands will take the opportunity to talk shit about people... 
But the American didn't care for that at all and here's him in the background singing along meekly to a song no one's paying any attention to. He resisted our drinks and protested whenever we stopped singing. We promised we'd get him a girl here but he said he didn't want his dick sucked in front of us. The nerve of that asshole! The Korean we were with told us it was $50 to get a girl in and there was no guarantee she'd suck anyone's dick. That didn't sound like a good deal and the homo was going off the whole thing. The American stomped his feet(!) and told us he wanted to go to a brothel. Now, that would have been ideal for me. If we went to a brothel on a "Haha, let's pop this guy's cherry" mission, I'D BE IN A KOREAN BROTHEL. At that point, it'd just be a matter of me saying, "Oh, what the hell, eh? Let's do it!" and handing a girl some cash. Unfortunately, the American was being such a massive loser that I didn't want to have anything in common with him. We forced his first shot on him hoping he'd calm down but he vomited. He became nasty in addition to being lame, stupid, and weak, so no sensible person could want him to ever have sex with anyone, even if it meant sacrificing their own fuck. We convinced him he was sick and he took a taxi home, and for the greater good I didn't fuck a whore that night. :( In the months that followed, we locked our door and never replied to his knocks. If he found us later (he'd sometimes wait outside the entrance of the dormitories), we told him we were sleeping whenever it was he'd come over. Like all true losers, he never suspected anyone might not like him, "You guys are always sleeping!!!". The problem was that he later developed a relationship with a Chinese grad student. I said we were the only foreigners there, but there were about 10 Uzbekistani and Chinese grad students. Anyway, I'd seen his girl before and she wasn't very attractive so their relationship initially received my blessing. Later though, I found out she was doing a doctorate in Electrical Engineering and had won a marathon, and, I didn't have much to do at the time, so despite her being ugly, I became very jealous about their relationship, and upset that he was getting away with being such a dickhead because Asians were blaming his terrible qualities on cultural differences. So, I unsuccessfully tried to sabotage his relationship. THE END Anyway, here are some pictures of Korea: 
 |
||||
 |
 |
|||
|
