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by FABIO 01/16/2005, 9:19am PST |
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7% Discussions on "old" (ten years or less) movies. Instead of a quick philosophy to go quip from mei-ling, now you get a one minute long rant on shitty movies from Para-medic.
10% Para-medic going on about imagined Japanese superiority. There were no fucking Otaku in the 60's, back when Japan was still a burned out radiactive wasteland that couldn't manufacture a quality product to save its life.
11% Ocelot twirling his revolvers. This one is no exaggeration either. They will spend a full minute or more in cutscenes just showing Ocelot twirl and juggle his guns. It goes on for so long, you swear that it's a setup for some joke like him dropping one and having it go off, or you expect one of the characters to tell him he looks like an idiot, but no. The game is actually trying to make him look cool. The silliest of these is when Ocelot fends off a swarm of hornets by twirling his revolvers to form a "shield" in front of him that kills the giant cloud of hornets.
15% Pointless and gratuitous Matrix effects that were played out 5 years ago. THe game will shift into stop-go panning and bullet time for no reason. Something as undramatic as opening fire on an already crashed plane calls for panning and slo-mo closeup of the bullets flying through the air (that apparently spin like throwing knives???).
5% People asking Snake about his gun/knife stance and Snake explaining that it's so he can switch from a pistol to knife quickly, because "sometimes in close quarters a knife is more useful than a gun". Bull fucking shit.
7% Snake rattling off all the modifications to his .45 (a gun that would knock someone flat on their ass in real life that takes 20+ shots to kill someone with in alert mode).
8% Snake desperately trying to impress everyone by taking every chance to go on about gun characteristics and shooting techniques, like some certain crazy former admins.
4% The female lead getting groped.
7% Ocelot getting the shit kicked out of him.
6% Genuinely funny conversations (mostly with Signit and Para-medic about your equipment and food you find)
5% The bosses yelling out their name over and over again (The Pain! THE PAAAAAAAAAAAIN! *explode*)
15% More retarded conspiracy theories about shadow governments |
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Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater by FABIO 01/13/2005, 2:26pm PST 
Beyond Good & Evil OR Psi-ops NT by FABIO 01/13/2005, 2:27pm PST
If someone has this beaten, I'd appreciate a total plot summary. NT by William H. Hayt, Jr. 01/13/2005, 2:48pm PST
1 problem, those games look awful :( NT by Question Asker 01/13/2005, 11:14pm PST
Your loss. PSI-Ops is awesome (except for the last stage). by whydirt 01/13/2005, 11:51pm PST
beauty fades, gameplay is forever NT by FABIO 01/14/2005, 1:03am PST
Final Fantasy VI's beauty never faded :( NT by Question Asker 01/14/2005, 1:23am PST
All the Final Fantasy games suck by whydirt 01/14/2005, 1:41am PST
try playing the opera sequence again today :( NT by FABIO 01/14/2005, 1:59am PST
Re: Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater by Mysterio 01/13/2005, 3:01pm PST
yup NT by FABIO 01/13/2005, 3:17pm PST
You're pretty much right. Oddworld: Stranger is the best stealth game yet. by Eyo 01/13/2005, 3:12pm PST
I think it's about time the industry admitted by FABIO 01/13/2005, 3:28pm PST
Re: I think it's about time the industry admitted by Eyo 01/13/2005, 3:53pm PST
Re: I think it's about time the industry admitted by FABIO 01/13/2005, 10:30pm PST
Re: I think it's about time the industry admitted by Creexul :( 01/13/2005, 10:59pm PST
Re: I think it's about time the industry admitted by Mysterio 01/13/2005, 11:15pm PST
Re: I think it's about time the industry admitted by Creexul :( 01/14/2005, 12:58am PST
Re: I think it's about time the industry admitted by Mysterio 01/14/2005, 2:37am PST
doesn't seem that bad by FABIO 01/14/2005, 9:35am PST
if you REALLY want to take a look at scary MGS3 fanboys by FABIO 01/14/2005, 2:33pm PST
That is where no one is being ironic. IRONIC!!!!!!!!!!!!! NT by Creexul :( 01/14/2005, 3:18pm PST
That's POE news, I don't know how much that counts as "anyone." :( NT by Creexul :( 01/14/2005, 3:15pm PST
The stealth isnt even that hard by The Joosh 01/14/2005, 8:31pm PST
Thief 3 is bearable, and Riddick by Lurker Shoomoser 01/14/2005, 12:10am PST
"Robbing The Cradle" alone makes Thief 3 my favorite stealth-oriented game ever NT by curst 01/14/2005, 9:26am PST
Re: "Robbing The Cradle" by who knows 03/26/2005, 12:12pm PST
Also try "Fallout" and "Quake" good too they much sing. NT by Torgor Thermopopopopstosholous 03/26/2005, 12:35pm PST
Hahahaha yeah that guy was STUPID. NT by Creexul :( 03/26/2005, 12:42pm PST
great review. most accurate and succinct MGS3 review i've ever read. by Question Asker 01/13/2005, 11:06pm PST
It helps to beat the game once so you know where the guards are by The Joosh 01/14/2005, 7:13pm PST
review of the controls by FABIO 01/16/2005, 8:59am PST
Summary: Video games still too hard for Fabio. by Lizard_King 02/13/2005, 7:19pm PST
breakdown of the cutscenes for William Hayt Jr. by FABIO 01/16/2005, 9:19am PST
Re: breakdown of the cutscenes for William Hayt Jr. by The Joosh 01/16/2005, 11:07am PST
more counter-intuitiveness by FABIO 01/16/2005, 12:13pm PST
Re: more counter-intuitiveness by Creexul :( 01/17/2005, 11:43pm PST
Re: breakdown of the cutscenes for William Hayt Jr. by Senor Barborito 01/16/2005, 11:43am PST
that pretty much sums up every SB debate ever by FABIO 01/16/2005, 12:20pm PST
Excellent post NT by Mysterio 01/16/2005, 5:23pm PST
This should be archived somehow. LIKE WIKIPEDIA NT by Creexul :( 01/18/2005, 2:03am PST
I just checked the Wikipedia entry for Senor Barborito. by whydirt 01/18/2005, 2:19am PST
Ah, the memories (tear) NT by Lizard_King 02/13/2005, 7:26pm PST
Thank you. NT by William H. Hayt, Jr. 01/16/2005, 2:57pm PST
Re: Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater by somari 01/27/2005, 5:45pm PST
Re: Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater by Mister Helper 01/27/2005, 6:56pm PST
Re: Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater by stoli bomb 02/13/2005, 4:02pm PST
not worth $50 game purchase credit ----> Stoli Bomb NT by FABIO 02/13/2005, 5:22pm PST
Re: not worth $50 game purchase credit ----> Stoli Bomb by stoli bomb 02/13/2005, 5:25pm PST
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