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by Quétinbec 09/13/2008, 9:40pm PDT |
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There are some people I'd marry knowing we’d get divorced in 7 years, because it'd still be worth it. I’m caring less about one such girl these days, and I’d like to record some feelings for her here before they mostly disappear. Her name is Ioana (pronounced ‘you-wanna’) and I think she is a bitch. I knew her for only 6 months but she changed my life and made me want to marry an Eastern European and live in Eastern Europe. She was an unemployed Romanian dance instructor I shared a room with in Delhi shortly before (and after) I was an unemployed ‘web designer’. We were staying at a flat full of international volunteers who were doing all kinds of great things to help Indians and really giving a shit, but we just fucked around and decorated the flat or complained about things or travelled. Her excuse for quitting was that schools ruined her dances and she wasn’t going to put up with that for $US120 a month. I quit because pretending to be a web designer was hard and I wanted to spend more time with her.
She was 23 and I was 25. She wasn’t really beautiful or anything but had the most beautiful voice and a great smile and I loved her.
Man, selecting those photos and seeing her again has fucked me up.
When we travelled, we’d share a bed to save money. We never fucked (which kills me), but when she fell asleep next to me, I’d listen to beautiful songs so when we parted they could remind me of her and I could be sad to be away from her. That's thinking ahead!
She was Romanian and some flatmates said to be careful because apparently they steal and are lazy – which was why I was stuck sharing a room with her. I don’t think she stole form me, but I know she supposedly travelled for a month with me on €150 her parents gave her and I’m fucked if I know how she did that.
I did a lot of crazy and disgusting things to impress her. I fucked a fat Indian. I tried to get my girlfriend back home to loan her money so I could make her happy AND show how devoted my girlfriend back home was to me (how cool must I be for an ex to willingly lend money to the new partner!); I committed insurance fraud; I rode motorcycles and jetskis and learnt to paraglide and did unlicensed scuba diving and all the things she couldn’t afford to do to try an impress her with my bravery and money, but I’d come back at night and she’d leave notes telling me to meet her on the beach. The beach in north Goa is never ending, but she’d write my name and an arrow at lots of different spots along it and leave messages with people (she refused to spend money on cellphone credit after leaving her job). I’d only find her about half the time and when I did, she’d have spent the day collecting seashells or drawing abstract pictures or painting a new face on a clock she’d found or other cute things and be only slightly interested in my accomplishments. As indifferent as she was to me on those occasions, she travelled by train for 3 days from Delhi to Madras to be with me, and riding in the lowest classes of Indian public transport is one of the hardest things I’ve done in my life and I never had a trip lasting longer than 2 days, AND that was with someone and with entertaining modern technologies. Three days solo and with nothing is so impressive. It ain't no fucking Dejeerling Express and she did it partly for me.
Anyway, throughout our travels she hinted she would take my MP3 player when I left. I have an iRiver HD340 (the first MP3 player to play video) and some $200 Sony 7506 headphones. I had the first season of the Adult Swim cartoon “Home Movies” on my player. It’s one of my favourite cartoons but it’s hard to find people who like it, and I was so happy she did. How perfect! Throughout our trip, she’d ‘joke’ that she’d take my MP3 player. I say joke, but it was pretty much “I’m going to take this when you leave.” So fucking haha.
On our last day together, I was hurriedly packing my shit because I was late for my bus. I had been planning this farewell for a while and the rush was fucking things up. I was crying and I wanted her to see that I was crying so she could see how much she meant to me, but I also didn’t want to look like a pussy because Romanian men aren’t pussies, so I decided the safest thing to do was to cry with sunglasses on.
She had bought me some ice cream as a going away present but she hadn’t been able to find me in time (because I was out buying her much more impressive gifts) and most of it had melted. Everything was going poorly but I still cried. When she discovered I was crying, she started laughing pretty hard, which made me feel foolish. But, India was her first extended trip out of Europe, and she was under the misimpression that if two people care enough about each other, they’ll be able to maintain that same level of affection at a distance online or meet up a few years down the track and pick up exactly where things left off, whereas I knew rightly that she would never care this much about me again (and it seemed I’d overestimated her current amount of caring). The tears were justified.
After being laughed at, I had a shower because I had a 20 hour bus ride ahead of me. I was confused about things and sad. When I came out of the shower, there was a 500 rupee note ($US15) in place of my MP3 player. That was money she owed me but that I was going to let her keep.
I wasn’t furious about this theft because I could get insurance (without being fraudulent) and everything made sense now and I could tell everyone they were right about her and have a funny story about getting ‘played’. I got all my shit together and was outside about to return my motorcycle when I spotted her on the roof of our guest house watching ‘Home Movies’. She just smiled. And when I asked her to give me my player back she laughed, and then did. I was pissed off because she was incredibly important to me and was acting like a fucking weirdo. After I bagged the player and hugged her again, I got a bit teary and started to drive off. She yelled out something. I thought it was to remind me to say goodbye to a shopkeeper we’d become close to because I hadn’t (and didn’t want to). I stopped and said what? She said nothing and waved for me to go. So we parted on that awkward note. I missed my bus.
She sent emails to ask me to leave my MP3 player for her in Delhi, the fucking bitch. I still don’t understand but after seeing those pictures again and remembering things, I’d probably still marry her. She’s picking fruit in Greece to save for the ski season in Romania.
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Romanian by Quétinbec 09/13/2008, 9:40pm PDT 
Eastern Euro Sassy NT by John Cusak 09/13/2008, 11:00pm PDT
That's kind of a stretch [nsfw] by Ray of Light 09/14/2008, 12:52am PDT
She doesn't really look like her at all. NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 09/14/2008, 9:10am PDT
You guys could compare porn\looks_like_sassy folders! by Worm 09/14/2008, 10:43am PDT
this one doesn't look like sasy this one doesn't look like sasy this one doesn't NT by Weyoun Voidbringer 09/14/2008, 11:06am PDT
my porn folders are in disarray too! NT by Worm 09/14/2008, 11:27am PDT
its like hes replying to posts that someone else made NT by Weyoun Voidbringer 09/14/2008, 11:38am PDT
My fatal mistake was putting apostrophes in my fake jsoh post I guess! by Worm 09/14/2008, 11:44am PDT
That was a pretty good fake jso post actually. NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 09/14/2008, 11:52am PDT
He means you can't comprehend other people's posts. Why can't you anyway? NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 09/14/2008, 12:02pm PDT
I wish I couldn't comprehend jsoh posts. Better yet I wish I couldn't fucking se NT by Worm 09/14/2008, 12:13pm PDT
Yeah thanks wrom. NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 09/14/2008, 12:36pm PDT
Also I'm disadvantaged in not having jsoh explaining the posts to me. NT by Worm 09/14/2008, 1:09pm PDT
even if I explained them you wouldn't understand NT by Weyoun Voidbringer 09/14/2008, 2:20pm PDT
Well you'd need to explain them to me in a horrible post, so yeah. NT by Worm 09/14/2008, 2:30pm PDT
It would be a horrible post. by Creexuls, a monster >:3 09/14/2008, 3:08pm PDT
Weird! I don't see the NT. No reason to click, what more could anyone say? NT by Worm 09/14/2008, 3:15pm PDT
The NT only shows for posts that don't have text in them. NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 09/14/2008, 7:57pm PDT
Jhoh has never come to terms with the many revs of Sassy by Ray of Light 09/14/2008, 1:27pm PDT
so she had a nose job with your money? by Weyoun Voidbringer 09/14/2008, 2:22pm PDT
Thanks Jwho. by Ray of Light 09/14/2008, 7:21pm PDT
Crashing into a house while drunk was a story that she told publically. by Creexuls, a monster >:3 09/14/2008, 8:41pm PDT
"and Sassy would never deceive her public. QED." by Ray of Light 09/14/2008, 10:16pm PDT
Re: "and Sassy would never deceive her public. QED." by Creexuls, a monster >:3 09/14/2008, 10:41pm PDT
I will compare the two stories so that people can make up their own minds! by Ray of Light 09/15/2008, 6:17am PDT
JUST SO HAPPENED TO WORK OUT PERFECTLY by Weyoun Voidbringer 09/15/2008, 7:08am PDT
He's saying she lied. That it never happened. That it was a falsehood. NT by Stupid 09/15/2008, 10:49am PDT
thank you, Stupid, that makes perfect sense by Weyoun Voidbringer 09/15/2008, 11:09am PDT
Re: Jhoh has never come to terms with the many revs of Sassy by Creexuls, a monster >:3 09/14/2008, 3:10pm PDT
Ray picks his women like he does TF2 servers NT by FABIO 09/14/2008, 9:05pm PDT
YEAH AND HE'S GAY HA HA NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 09/14/2008, 9:22pm PDT
Please tell me that models name so I can gather more NT by --- 09/14/2008, 11:52am PDT
This is how you do it --> "Sauce?" NT by Anonymous 09/14/2008, 11:58am PDT
It came from 4chan. by Ray of Light 09/14/2008, 1:36pm PDT
UPDATE: teendreams.com by Ray of Light 03/13/2009, 8:12am PDT
NWS ^ NT by laudablepuss 03/13/2009, 8:14am PDT
I've never been more thankful for a necropost by up with pod people 03/13/2009, 2:39pm PDT
Writing myself in for post of the year in this thread NT by Entropy Stew 03/13/2009, 9:03pm PDT
That should've been posted in the wank forum. This thread shouldn't've been bump by Quétinbec 03/13/2009, 8:56pm PDT
It's the same girl as before, isn't it? NT by Fullofkittens 03/13/2009, 9:50pm PDT
the royal we of Quétinbec + Quétinbec's erection by up with pod people 03/13/2009, 10:27pm PDT
Re: UPDATE: teendreams.com by Tricknology 03/13/2009, 9:33pm PDT
Her hair is cute and her face is pretty but her ass is hairy in the 2nd pic. NT by Quétinbec 03/13/2009, 10:09pm PDT
Also, Ray is bald and pines for hair. NT by Quétinbec 03/13/2009, 10:11pm PDT
AND I have combination skin by Ray of Light 03/14/2009, 4:38am PDT
Why did you repeat what Tricknology just said about the ass hair? NT by I also just want to understand 03/13/2009, 11:11pm PDT
Oops by Quétinbec 03/14/2009, 12:05am PDT
1) completeness 2) that was one of Jhoh's big Sassy criticisms by Ray of Light 03/14/2009, 3:24am PDT
1, that's terror, 2, that's terror. by Creexuls, a monster >:3 03/14/2009, 3:49am PDT
Yeah, sorry about that guys! It was weak and must need to wank more. by Quétinbec 09/15/2008, 6:34am PDT
Hey, man, let's just be real by Ray of Light 09/15/2008, 9:51am PDT
stogies are jumpin off here NT by Weyoun Voidbringer 09/15/2008, 11:58am PDT
Re: Hey, man, let's just be real by REAL TALK 09/15/2008, 12:52pm PDT
She doesn't look rotund to me, in fact just the opposite. by Jerry Whorebach 09/15/2008, 1:45pm PDT
Maybe not rotund, more like pre-rotund. She looks like she's primed to explode. NT by Ray of Light 09/15/2008, 1:49pm PDT
She exploded for a while (when she came to see me) then deflated after I called NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 09/15/2008, 2:17pm PDT
Re: Hey, man, let's just be real by Ice Cream Jonsey 09/15/2008, 2:20pm PDT
She wouldn't have even come here if I didn't post all the stuff about her. by Creexuls, a monster >:3 09/15/2008, 2:24pm PDT
"preemptively" "sycophant" "ray" "did" by Ray of Light 09/15/2008, 2:51pm PDT
Yes, but she is charming. C'mon, you were charmed at first! >CHARM PERSON! NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 09/15/2008, 2:56pm PDT
Don't forget that two of the charms are big tits. NT by That's powerful stuff. 09/15/2008, 3:07pm PDT
Lopsided implants. NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 09/15/2008, 3:10pm PDT
False NT by Ray of Light 09/15/2008, 4:12pm PDT
I grabbed them, they're fake. NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 09/15/2008, 5:04pm PDT
Unlicensed, unofficial, hatless boob inspector. NT by Last 09/15/2008, 5:25pm PDT
Very little of what you've said today makes any fucking sense! by Ray of Light 09/15/2008, 6:31pm PDT
Re: I grabbed them, they're fake. by Tricknology 03/13/2009, 9:34pm PDT
Re: Hey, man, let's just be real by Creexuls, a monster >:3 09/15/2008, 3:22pm PDT
Re: Hey, man, let's just be real by MCHF MAKR 09/15/2008, 3:29pm PDT
That's not hardcore enough psh (THE PLEBEIANS ARE TRYING TO SHUT US DOWN). NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 09/15/2008, 3:30pm PDT
Re: That's not hardcore enough psh (THE PLEBEIANS ARE TRYING TO SHUT US DOWN). by motherfuckerfoodeater 09/15/2008, 4:26pm PDT
Re: That's not hardcore enough psh (THE PLEBEIANS ARE TRYING TO SHUT US DOWN). by Creexuls, a monster >:3 09/15/2008, 5:04pm PDT
Weak. Try again. NT by motherfuckerfoodeater 09/15/2008, 5:10pm PDT
MY CROWN NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 09/15/2008, 5:27pm PDT
Feature Req: forbid full-length titles on deeply nested posts NT by Ray of Light 09/16/2008, 6:19pm PDT
Rationale? NT by Entropy Stew 09/16/2008, 8:18pm PDT
To prevent screen-scrolling or the dreaded line break, GUH. NT by Jerry Whorebach 09/16/2008, 9:17pm PDT
Then maybe fix the layout instead of cutting post titles? NT by Entropy Stew 09/17/2008, 5:24am PDT
Maybe fix it so you don't have to click on every single post like sko caveman? NT by Jerry Whorebach 09/17/2008, 12:47pm PDT
Re: Hey, man, let's just be real by Zsenitan 09/15/2008, 4:55pm PDT
Re: Hey, man, let's just be real by MCHF MAKR 09/15/2008, 5:12pm PDT
Re: Hey, man, let's just be real by motherfuckerfoodeater 09/15/2008, 5:16pm PDT
I just want to know what Zseni SAID to the cops to make them arrest her. by MCHF MAKR 09/15/2008, 5:21pm PDT
Re: I just want to know what Zseni SAID to the cops to make them arrest her. by Zsenitan 09/15/2008, 5:57pm PDT
Are you kidding? Have you seen a Zseni post? There are internet warrants out o NT by FORUM COP Tango 09/15/2008, 7:22pm PDT
Okay so what does this have to do with anything? :( NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 09/15/2008, 5:26pm PDT
It is true that I never slept with Creex, or indeed with anyone who couldn't, uh by Zsenitan 09/15/2008, 5:59pm PDT
Re: It is true that I never slept with Creex, or indeed with anyone who couldn't by Creexuls, a monster >:3 09/15/2008, 6:13pm PDT
Je jure sur la tête de ma première vérole / Que cette voix depuis je l'entends t by out le temps/Au suivant! Au suivan 09/15/2008, 9:28pm PDT
OYE! by Creexul's Undocumented Post Double 09/15/2008, 11:05pm PDT
Oh yes I would like to add by Creexul's Undocumented Post Double 09/15/2008, 11:22pm PDT
Re: Oh yes I would like to add by out le temps/Au suivant! Au suivan 09/15/2008, 11:46pm PDT
So these were our punishment for not caring about your poem or whatever? NT by Jerry Whorebach 09/16/2008, 1:45am PDT
Polo luncheon? OH SHIT! I'll get either ridden or eaten. Probably both. NT by A horse 09/16/2008, 12:23pm PDT
Re: Hey, man, let's just be real by Quétinbec 09/16/2008, 9:32am PDT
Curses by Fussbett 09/16/2008, 11:48am PDT
Re: Curses by Quétinbec 09/17/2008, 5:27am PDT
Poor enough to afford Evian. No Deja Blue crap for me! NT by Montezuma's Mischief 09/16/2008, 12:19pm PDT
Are you having the piss? by Ray of Light 09/16/2008, 6:12pm PDT
Re: Are you having the piss? by Quétinbec 09/17/2008, 5:41am PDT
Baggage! by Fussbett 09/17/2008, 1:06pm PDT
I'm gonna guess "put an egg on your face" doesn't make the best pick-up line :( NT by Jerry Whorebach 09/18/2008, 1:28am PDT
Virginity! by Quétinbec 09/18/2008, 6:00am PDT
Re: Virginity! by motherfuckerfoodeater 09/18/2008, 9:54am PDT
In this post, a hidden implication about lesbianism. by Fussbett 09/18/2008, 6:02pm PDT
WELL. . . NT by HE'S GAY! 09/18/2008, 11:10am PDT
Re: Yeah, sorry about that guys! It was weak and must need to wank more. by Creexuls, a monster >:3 09/15/2008, 11:22am PDT
she is an ok girl (stung by a platypus) NT by Weyoun Voidbringer 09/15/2008, 3:20pm PDT
I feel better about not leaving the house ever now (hell is other people). NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 09/13/2008, 11:07pm PDT
Pfft what do you know about love anyway. by Zsenitan 09/14/2008, 2:50am PDT
That is, catapult the evil ones from your vicinity until next Tuesday. NT by MCHF MAKR 09/14/2008, 9:03am PDT
And you had the nerve to tell me the girl I loved but never fucked was unattract NT by Jerry Whorebach 09/14/2008, 4:18am PDT
I don't mean to bag on your girlfriend, BUT... by Jerry Whorebach 09/14/2008, 5:17am PDT
Re: I don't mean to bag on your girlfriend, BUT... by Entropy Stew 09/14/2008, 8:45pm PDT
Bulbed! NT by POE fag 09/14/2008, 8:59pm PDT
Re: I don't mean to bag on your girlfriend, BUT... by Quétinbec 09/15/2008, 6:36am PDT
Once again Stew has kicked all our asses NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 09/15/2008, 9:37pm PDT
Re: Romanian by motherfuckerfoodeater 09/14/2008, 11:30am PDT
Re: Romanian by Moog 09/14/2008, 11:58am PDT
This is you by Isn't it? 09/16/2008, 5:50pm PDT
Look at this fucking sleuth. Detective Monthsago. NT by Fussbett 09/16/2008, 6:11pm PDT
Now, now. NT by Now, now, now. 09/16/2008, 6:48pm PDT
So what? Is it a bit shit, friend? NT by Quétinbec 09/17/2008, 5:45am PDT
Bump! NT by Mysterious Stranger 05/29/2010, 7:49pm PDT
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