Forum Overview :: Motherfucking News

It doesn't. But neocons are very stupid - stupid enough to think that they by Zseni 02/25/2007, 9:59am PST ...represent a CONSERVATION of the glories of the past, and that Rome represents the pinnacle of these glories. There is some kind of hoodoo thinking at work - that Latin alone foments a conservative heart in a man. Or maybe it's that by acknowledging how Rome fell (in Gibbon's opinion, it was the feminizing influence of Christianity), the conservative can prevent such errors from arising again. Neocons are not very good at history. They spend a lot of time on Rome, and feudal kings, and paladins and knights, and the powerful powerful Church. They consider these truly great and truly estimable foundations of our history. Don't get me wrong, I love all those things too. Caltrops knows how happily I throw hours of study away on Tintagel, Richard the Third, and the gothic arch. But I also know that all of that stuff is much better as fairy-story material than any sort of history from which to draw pertinent lessons. Problems: in the grip of the late and post-Roman world - and, indeed, for nearly a thousand years after that - science moved very slowly. Peasants spent hundreds of years making up their minds to adopt superior plows. No progress whatsoever was made in medical science - there was a positive regression into compounds of unrelated vegetable and animal matter, and the ministrations of faith-healing priests and monks. Thousands of priceless ancient manuscripts were burned as unchristian, driving away even the dim lights of ancient Grecian, Roman, and Persian erudition. The beautiful pageantry of feudal history is itself a giant fucking coverup. The royalty of Europe, from 300 to 1300AD, behaved like gangsta rappers: their pleasures were killing each other and bumping up the teen pregnancy rate. Meanwhile we know painfully little about the everyday lives of everyday people. These people, and their innovations, their artistry, and their philosophies, were not worth the paper it would have taken to write about them, and for a long time all the social contact they had was within their village and church. The history of late Rome and early Europe is like a history of high school as commissioned by the captain of the cheerleading squad. Nothing happened for a long, long time. And that is the fantasy of the neocons: they want to go back to when very rich men were in charge of everything and nobody could stand against them, and nothing happened. The unwashed masses remain on their feudal plots, slaving for their lords, and the term of service for each soldier grows longer and longer before he is given anything for his trouble. Rome is the not-retarded Daily Show for neocons only if you accept that Rome was indeed the pinnacle of civilization and that conservatives stand for all that was best about it. But each of those premises is, Moebius-style, more ridiculous than the other. There are always Huns and Mongols, plagues and Muslims, waiting to cut some of the fat off such a lazy and self-serving polical economy.

"The 1/2 Hour News Hour" by Fussbett 02/20/2007, 3:38am PST     more self-parodying by Flavio 02/20/2007, 4:20am PST     Re: "The 1/2 Hour News Hour" by Mischief Maker 02/20/2007, 8:54am PST     So was the entire first episode just jokes about Ted Kennedy driving into a lake by Rafiki 02/20/2007, 9:49am PST         Looks like the "Mallard Filmore" of TV by Mischief Maker 02/20/2007, 11:10am PST             Re: Looks like the "Mallard Filmore" of TV by Arbit 02/20/2007, 3:44pm PST         Don't know. Let's check a review. by Fussbett 02/20/2007, 1:22pm PST     This show isn't an appropriate response to TDS or Colbert. by Jhoh Cable o_O 02/20/2007, 12:22pm PST         Great synopsis of The Daily Show. NT by fellow shit eating conservative 02/20/2007, 12:40pm PST             WUUUUUUU? NT by Jon Stewart 02/20/2007, 12:44pm PST         This guy hates Jon Stewart too. by Fussbett 02/20/2007, 1:12pm PST             So I forgot the word "mincing." NT by Jhoh Cable o_O 02/21/2007, 6:34am PST                 Looks like SOMEONE ripped off this show for their troll police guest comic. by Jhoh Cable o_O 02/21/2007, 6:36am PST                     Doh! NT by Mischief Maker 02/21/2007, 8:18am PST         Re: This show isn't an appropriate response to TDS or Colbert. by Mischief Maker 02/22/2007, 9:35am PST     One Conservative humorist is funnier than all the Liberals combined by Reichsminister Doktor Goebbels 02/20/2007, 4:01pm PST         Parliament of Whores is a deathless classic by laudablepuss 02/20/2007, 4:47pm PST             Not precisely, as far as I know by Reichsminister Doktor Goebbels 02/20/2007, 6:41pm PST                 He's a relic. His is a brandy-sniftering leering National Lampoon artifact. by Zseni 02/20/2007, 7:25pm PST                     No one cares what you think, you fat slampig. NT by Reichsminister Doktor Goebbels 02/20/2007, 8:23pm PST                         ^ All that was ever funny about PJ O'Rourke NT by Zseni 02/20/2007, 9:26pm PST                         True, true. But she's pretty much correct. by mark 02/20/2007, 11:04pm PST                 Re: Not precisely, as far as I know by Mischief Maker 02/20/2007, 8:17pm PST                     Re: Not precisely, as far as I know by Reichsminister Doktor Goebbels 02/20/2007, 9:09pm PST                         Re: Not precisely, as far as I know by Flavio 02/20/2007, 10:43pm PST                             Re: Not precisely, as far as I know by Reichsminister Doktor Goebbels 02/20/2007, 11:52pm PST                         Retards ahoy! by bink 02/21/2007, 7:15am PST                             Re: Retards ahoy! by Jhoh Cable o_O 02/21/2007, 8:24am PST                     Re: Not precisely, as far as I know by Jhoh Cable o_O 02/21/2007, 6:44am PST                 Re: Not precisely, as far as I know by Jhoh Cable o_O 02/21/2007, 6:38am PST     parody by Flavio 02/22/2007, 3:10am PST         Sean Hannity gives us more by Flavio 02/22/2007, 5:25pm PST             I like how Global Warming guy is stupid, even though he's never proven wrong. NT by Mischief Maker 02/22/2007, 6:17pm PST             It's about time I was taken down a peg. NT by Ed Begley Jr. 02/22/2007, 6:34pm PST             "Boing" :( NT by Bunyip 02/26/2007, 4:15pm PST                 Snooped by Bunyip 02/26/2007, 5:37pm PST     David Frum from National Review weighs in by Mischief Maker 02/24/2007, 4:23pm PST         Re: David Frum from National Review weighs in by Zseni 02/24/2007, 6:57pm PST             Zseni: cannot decide whether it's Gibbon or Gibbons. NT by Zseni 02/24/2007, 6:58pm PST             So how does that make "Rome" the not-retarded Daily Show for Neocons? NT by Mischief Maker 02/24/2007, 10:55pm PST                 It doesn't. But neocons are very stupid - stupid enough to think that they by Zseni 02/25/2007, 9:59am PST                     conservatives feel fall of Rome was brought on by societal acceptance of gays by co 02/26/2007, 11:25am PST                         But it was actually the lack of communist values and proper animal care. NT by Jhoh Cable o_O 02/26/2007, 2:30pm PST                         Re: conservatives feel fall of Rome was brought on by societal acceptance of gay by motherfuckerfoodeater 02/26/2007, 4:32pm PST         It's so cute when right-wingers pretend that they know how to read. by motherfuckerfoodeater 02/25/2007, 3:27am PST             date=dave NT by motherfuckerfoodeater 02/25/2007, 3:27am PST