2004 vote: George W. Bush, because I don't want Johnnie Cochran on the Supreme Court.

2000 vote: George W. Bush. (I always vote Republican because Republicans have fewer ideas. Although, in the case of George W., not fewer enough.)

Most embarrassing vote: A 1968 write-in for "Chairman Meow," my girlfriend's cat. It seemed very funny at the time. As I mentioned, this was 1968.

Not that I disagreed with everything said by the people who opposed the war with Iraq. As a casus belli, weapons of mass destruction did seem like a pair of pants cut to the size of North Korea and into which Iraq was being stuff. And claims that Saddam Hussein was cooperating with Osama bin Laden smelled of something found on the Internet late at night along with proof that the Jews and the Rotary Club control the World Bank. What President Bush should have said was "Here's a man who's been murdering everyone he could get his hands on for twenty-five years. We don't need a reason."