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by Jerry Whorebach 09/30/2006, 4:39am PDT |
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Once, after reading The Shawshank Redemption, I resolved to write the great American prison novel. I felt my long history of never leaving my apartment or talking to girls would make me uniquely qualified. This turned out not to be the case.
My first mistake was the decision to write from the perspective of a wise old lifer much like Morgan Freeman even though I didn't actually know anything about prison. My second mistake was assuming that real prisoners would spend most of their time watching TV or playing video games and conversing profoundly in videogame metaphors. My third mistake was probably naming all of the inmates after old 8-bit game characters, like Kid Icarus or Pitfall Harry.
Anyway, my poor decisions started adding up and pretty soon the whole thing had descended into the surreal. I think the lowest point was when I described one Aryan brother as having maps of Hyrule tattooed all over his body. Plus, I just didn't have the stomach or the anatomical knowledge necessary to depict all the sexual violence that I knew was necessary for mimesis. Not to mention the constant worry that my mom would find the manuscript and learn what I thought "wolf-bagging" or a "donkey punch" were. |
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Hey it's been a while since I posted some sad life stories. by Jhoh Cable o_O 09/26/2006, 11:40am PDT 
Here is a big one. by Jhoh Cable o_O 09/26/2006, 11:41am PDT
Re: Hey it's been a while since I posted some sad life stories. by Mischief Maker 09/26/2006, 7:45pm PDT
Haha, yeah. by Jerry Whorebach 09/26/2006, 10:50pm PDT
Part 3! by Jhoh Cable o_O 09/27/2006, 1:16pm PDT
Journal bonus: bink thinks I might have some emotional problem or something? by Jhoh Cable o_O 09/27/2006, 1:34pm PDT
I'm sure you consider it an insult, but it's not meant as one. NT by bink 09/27/2006, 2:48pm PDT
Stand up Jsoh?!?! by Fussbett 09/27/2006, 2:03pm PDT
Re: Stand up Jsoh?!?! by bink 09/27/2006, 2:50pm PDT
I think it was before that. by Jhoh Cable o_O 09/27/2006, 6:23pm PDT
Extra journal bonus! by Jhoh Cable o_O 09/28/2006, 3:18pm PDT
New debate tactic: citing articles that you, yourself, added to Wikipedia. NT by Mental Note 09/29/2006, 2:30am PDT
Re: New debate tactic: citing articles that you, yourself, added to Wikipedia. by a1 09/29/2006, 8:39pm PDT
Re: New debate tactic: citing articles that you, yourself, added to Wikipedia. by I need clarification 09/29/2006, 8:46pm PDT
NOT EVEN MINE? ;-; NT by Jhoh Cable o_O 09/29/2006, 10:03pm PDT
I still have that dream. :( NT by Fullofkittens 09/29/2006, 10:06pm PDT
Re: New debate tactic: citing articles that you, yourself, added to Wikipedia. by a1 09/30/2006, 2:39am PDT
I liked your book better when it was called Catcher in the Rye. NT by David Spade 09/30/2006, 3:40am PDT
Talent borrows, genius steals. by Jerry Whorebach 09/30/2006, 4:39am PDT
I'd read "Video Game Prison" over "Hot Girl is Poor" NT by Fussbett 09/30/2006, 12:43pm PDT
I think so also. by Jhoh Cable o_O 09/30/2006, 1:37pm PDT
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