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| Death Poodle keeps its eyes on the prize (minor Hulk spoilers) by Fullofkittens 06/21/2003, 12:43am PDT | ||||
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| Saw Hulk. It sucks.
What the world does not need is a beautiful, lyrical superhero movie. OKAY WE GET IT. SUPERHEROES ARE TRAGIC FIGURES. THEY DESERVE OUR PITY. Hulk is what X2 would have been if you take away all the scenes that don't feature Wolverine trying to remember his true identity. Two and a half fucking hours of arty flashbacks and zooming into people's eyeballs to visions of green mushroom clouds. The most boring goddamn movie I've seen in a theater in years. I was sitting there trying to remember all the words to "Just A Memory" by Elvis Costello to pass the time. Two specific complaints: #1: Ang Lee has got this weird method of attempting to translate the comic book aesthetic into a film format. I swear to God - Tank Girl achieved this with greater subtlety. Lee's method is a semi-annoying combination of split-screening and cutting some elements away into new shots. However, you can kind of groove on it after you get used to it. It could be really cool to do some of this shit during the fight scenes. HOWEVER. The only time Lee uses the technique is during the "charged" dramatic conversations... the fight scenes are all normal CGI bullshit. #2: To paraphrase Annie Hall, the fight scenes suck and there aren't enough of them. There are three major battle sequences (in the 150 minute movie YES THAT'S ONE FIGHT SCENE EVERY 50 MINUTES THAT'S ALMOST AN HOUR)... the first one is against three mutant dogs, and it would be really kickass if it wasn't so fucking dark. It's the Nocturne of fight scenes. The second one is actually cool, he takes out some military hardware with style and aplomb, though apparent hippie Lee decided to give us a shot after every vehicle gets trashed indicating that everybody's all right. (Whew!) The third one is all arty and shit, you can't even figure out what's happening. It is (surprise!) kind of like the incomprehensible ending of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. Sucked, don't see it. FoK P.S. the dramatic conversations are BAD. People were laughing in the theater at wrong moments. And it wasn't just me this time - everyone was laughing. Eric Bana is pretty good, though, and Jennifer Connelly is okay as the world's most inconstant girlfriend, though she's kind of got an unkillable skeleton thing going on lately. She was way hotter when she had some roundness in her face. (And chest) |
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