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Gamerasutra
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by FABIO 06/10/2003, 2:43am PDT |
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I'm not sure wether or not to thank Nixon for sending me his copy, because it sucks. So much in fact that I'm not sure I can continue playing to provide a full review.
How long is the game? I just spent the entire first hour picking up a package...FROM MY OWN DAMN PO BOX. But the post office is closed, see, so of course the only course of action is to burst in guns blazing and mow down the hordes of security guards every post office apparently employs. How fucking huge is this place? The post office headquarters in NYC isn't one-third the size. The real bitch of the level is you spent most of the hour hunting down a switch to restore power to an elevator in the lobby (the first room you started out in) that you ride directly up to the PO Box room. It's like the map designers drew a line from start to finish, realized it would only take 30 seconds to beat the level, and decided to throw in a switch located deep within the bowels of the postal catacombs. Then they took a look at the possibility of the player simply going back to the lobby and walking out the front with the package, said "nuh uh", and drew in metal security doors slamming down to block your escape. Hundreds of armed guards, one mile deep bunker (there's a skylight in one of the basement rooms' ceiling, wtf?), automated steel security doors, what the fuck kind of post office is this?
After a thrilling driving sequence that boils down to a gamble on the enemy AI crashing into obstacles more than your own, I'm presented with my second retarded objetive: contact all other Zion ships via phones inside the matrix to recall them back to base. This just after a cutscene showing Niobe talking directly to Zion from her ship as Commander Lock orders her to issue the recall herself. Huh? Why the fuck don't they just radio the other ships? I guess so it could introduce the exciting mission of making calls via various airport pay phones.
So the objectives for the first two levels break down to pick
1. Pick up a package at your PO Box
2. Walk around the airport making phone calls
Enter the excitement! ENTER THE MATRIX!
Ok so how long does this shit go on for? Do the enemies ever get any tougher so they can survive more than two seconds of you pounding the punch button in fron of them? "But what about Agents?" I hear all the movie fans cry? Too bad, you dont get to fight them. The game tells you all you can do is run away from them. That's right, THEY MADE A MATRIX GAME AND DONT LET YOU FIGHT AGENTS.
I was broken by the start of the airport level. How much more do I have to put up with? |
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Enter The Matrix questions for review by FABIO 06/10/2003, 2:43am PDT 
second question for anyone with knowlege of NYC by FABIO 06/10/2003, 2:47am PDT
No. by FoK 06/10/2003, 10:20am PDT
how about the DC HQ? by FABIO 06/10/2003, 12:39pm PDT
Late-ass reply by Fullofkittens 06/12/2003, 10:21am PDT
Good luck finding another sucker to foist that on... by Nixon 06/10/2003, 3:35am PDT
They're literally paying people to get MOO3. Is Enter the Matrix even worse? by Colonel K 06/10/2003, 4:36am PDT
Re: They're literally paying people to get MOO3. Is Enter the Matrix even worse? by Roop Dirump 06/10/2003, 8:07am PDT
Re: They're literally paying people to get MOO3. Is Enter the Matrix even worse? by Fussbett 06/10/2003, 8:19am PDT
Thanks. As for the game, didn't Shiny spend years on this thing? by Colonel K 06/10/2003, 8:58am PDT
Re: Thanks. As for the game, didn't Shiny spend years on this thing? by FoK 06/10/2003, 12:39pm PDT
Re: Thanks. As for the game, didn't Shiny spend years on this thing? by foogla 06/10/2003, 1:19pm PDT
...EtM: sko "The Ring" tape, but for Caltropsian fags? -NT- by Ice Cream Jonsey 06/10/2003, 11:03am PDT
Winner of 'The Ring' reference contest by default. by Colonel K 06/11/2003, 5:23am PDT
I blew it. I actually do read all your posts, Colonel. by Ice Cream Jonsey 06/11/2003, 5:51am PDT
heh. I was just looking for a chance to link that Steven Bradbury story, anyway. by Colonel K 06/11/2003, 6:49am PDT
Re: Enter The Matrix questions for review by Fussbett 06/10/2003, 4:33am PDT
Re: Enter The Matrix questions for review by Roop Dirump 06/10/2003, 8:18am PDT
Hey FABS, I've got this monkey paw that I never use... NT by Entropy Stew 06/10/2003, 12:35pm PDT
Re: Enter The Matrix questions for review by I need clarification 06/10/2003, 4:40pm PDT
Re: Enter The Matrix questions for review by Jhoh Creexul 06/10/2003, 5:53pm PDT
Re: Enter The Matrix questions for review by I need clarification 06/10/2003, 6:33pm PDT
I'll try that by FABIO 06/10/2003, 10:01pm PDT
Re: I'll try that by Jhoh Creexul 06/11/2003, 12:03am PDT
A better game is looking for you, FABIO by Entropy Stew 06/11/2003, 8:20pm PDT
FUCKING FUCK, I THOUGHT I GOT RID OF ALL THE NEOS NT by Entropy Stew 06/11/2003, 8:22pm PDT
+5 Funny (but -5 for being a parody of the Matrix :( ) NT by Senor Barborito 06/11/2003, 8:26pm PDT
The latter is what prevented me from extending it furthur NT by Entropy Stew 06/11/2003, 8:38pm PDT
photoshop screenshot for front page review link by FABIO 06/11/2003, 10:18pm PDT
Formatting suggestions by Entropy Stew 06/12/2003, 12:51am PDT
Re: Formatting suggestions by laudablepuss 06/12/2003, 3:26am PDT
Klingons? Huh? NT by Entropy Stew 06/12/2003, 5:09am PDT
Re: Klingons? Huh? by laudablepuss 06/12/2003, 10:18am PDT
Re: Formatting suggestions by Moab 06/12/2003, 3:34am PDT
Huh? NT by Entropy Stew 06/12/2003, 5:06am PDT
innerred... awesome "found" spelling NT by Choson 06/11/2003, 10:22pm PDT
Minor detail by Senor Barborito 06/11/2003, 6:40am PDT
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