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| FAA to Bin Laden: Thanks by Bill Dungsroman 02/19/2003, 12:52pm PST | ||||
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| Well, not really, but maybe they should thank him.
I mean: last weekend, I flew down to Phoenix to visit a friend, during our nation's Superdeeduper Almost War Duct Tape and Dropcloth Alert Status. I guess the airport stopped doing that last-second as-you're-boarding search, or maybe it was because I flew the perpetually-late America West who probably forego it anyway. But as I sat in my seat, I naturally ran hijack scenarios in my head. What would I do? Get the attention of the guy across from me and anyone near me that I could, and bumrush whatever Middle East faggot was trying to hijack us. Failing that, I'd hoped the pilot would auger us into the ground in quick and violent fashion. Make it painless, Captain Nosedive. Better that then to sit helpless and watch the plane fly into the Golden Gate Bridge or whatever. Fuck that. Obviously, I'm not alone. That Pittsburgh flight proved that, and more importantly, it proved that to would-be hijackers. Hey Mohammed, I know what you're aims are, or could potentially be, now. Fuck you, you aren't making any goddamned statement on anything besides the landscape in some secluded area, far away from any populated target. Any hijacked plane - of which there haven't been any since 9/11 - has to immediately be regarded as a guided missile, not just a fruity bargaining tool for some Islamic nutbag who wants some political leader freed. So what does that mean if you're a terrorist? Don't hijack a plane unless the only thing you want to get out of it is to have it crashed by the pilot or desperate passengers at best. At worst, those same passengers rush you and tear you apart. Care to risk it, Ahmed? Not for a long while at least, not for a decade or more. The implications of a hijacked plane have been forever radically altered by 9/11, so much so that perhaps it discourages terrorists themselves from regarding it as a viable option. The skies are friendly again. BDR |
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