Forum Overview :: Rants
 
Jesus fucking christ by The Happiness Engine 05/16/2014, 4:45pm PDT
Commander Tansin A. Darcos wrote:

Only I discover than I can't open the bottle of chocolate milk, I don't have the strength in my hands to break the seal on the bottle. So, I ask one of the crew to open the two bottles for me. Then I'm eating my steak egg and cheese bagels, and when I go to have one of the milk, I also lack the strength to pull the plastic tab to break the foil seal on the bottle. I had to peel it off in order to unseal the inner bottle.

You know, I've been rolling this around trying to craft a good "haha fatty, it's called exercise" but seriously, where does your body have to decay to before you actually prioritize not dying? I mean, I get winded marching for 5 minutes and I'm REAL upset about it and trying to work on my health, but you're at "can't open food" and your answer is to blame the world? I mean, I assume you actually tried "hold the bottle with one hand and use the other to turn the cap, maybe with some form of gripping device on your palm." Those 23 years aren't looking too realistic, neighbor.
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I had a really bad day today, and it's only 11:40, it's not even lunch yet. by Commander Tansin A. Darcos 05/15/2014, 9:21am PDT NEW
    Caltrops will now be known as TDARCOS' E/N Blog NT by WITTGENSTEIN 05/15/2014, 10:26am PDT NEW
    Learn how to open your own chocolate milk you fucking failure NT by Seriously 05/15/2014, 10:36am PDT NEW
        Re: Learn how to open your own chocolate milk you fucking failure by Commander Tansin A. Darcos 05/15/2014, 12:32pm PDT NEW
            Perhaps the problem lies not in the bottle! by MASTER STFU 05/15/2014, 3:14pm PDT NEW
                Re: Perhaps the problem lies not in the bottle! by Commander Tansin A. Darcos 05/15/2014, 7:40pm PDT NEW
                    Re: Perhaps the problem lies not in the bottle! by Bradley Svedka. 05/15/2014, 8:00pm PDT NEW
                        Don't forget to bring the McDonalds dude by to pull the trigger for you. 05/15/2014, 8:25pm PDT NEW
    How was it a bad morning? You got things done and indulged in by gluttonous fast food. 05/15/2014, 1:46pm PDT NEW
        It's the goddam annoyances by Commander Tansin A. Darcos 05/15/2014, 7:36pm PDT NEW
    Next time, bring your pliers. by Eurotrash 05/15/2014, 10:54pm PDT NEW
        Re: Next time, bring your pliers. by Commander Tansin A. Darcos 05/17/2014, 2:47am PDT NEW
            White guilt. Paul has it. by Eurotrash 05/17/2014, 5:53am PDT NEW
                Also you can just call me EuroKramer from now on. NT by EuroKramer 05/17/2014, 8:56am PDT NEW
                    So Elaine, WHAT'S THE DEAL with EuroKramer's new job at the NBA? by (plays laugh track) 05/18/2014, 1:24am PDT NEW
                        Helloooooo... cretinous reprobate NT by (sour look, more laugh track) 05/18/2014, 8:44am PDT NEW
    Jesus fucking christ by The Happiness Engine 05/16/2014, 4:45pm PDT NEW
        Re: Jesus fucking christ by Commander Tansin A. Darcos 05/17/2014, 2:40am PDT NEW
            I'd understand if you were having trouble trying to pop the cork on a Korbel NT by but chocolate milk is for babies 05/17/2014, 10:31am PDT NEW
                I'm having breakfast, That usually involves milk. Why would I trink Korbel? NT by Commander Tansin A. Darcos 05/18/2014, 9:58am PDT NEW
                What kind of nutcase drinks booze at breakfast? Besides, I'm a teetotaler NT by Commander Tansin A. Darcos 05/18/2014, 9:59am PDT NEW
                Bullshit. Adults drink chocolate milk all the time. Stop being asshole & wise up NT by Commander Tansin A. Darcos 05/18/2014, 10:09am PDT NEW
                    Harden the fuck up, you big baby. I demand drunk cooking vid. NT by EuroKramer 05/18/2014, 12:02pm PDT NEW
            "opportunity because there was enough time." by Enough Time 05/20/2014, 1:05pm PDT NEW
                "there is literally nothing going on in my life outside of work" NT by Not Enough Time 05/20/2014, 1:12pm PDT NEW
                Re: "opportunity because there was enough time." by Commander Tansin A. Darcos 05/20/2014, 1:25pm PDT NEW
        Re: Jesus fucking christ by comrade tacos 05/17/2014, 6:05am PDT NEW
    Meanwhile, I am having a great day. by Jerry Whorebach 05/17/2014, 2:05pm PDT NEW
        Six Tims later, I have learned so much. by Jerry Whorebach 05/17/2014, 3:55pm PDT NEW
        Your day was so infectiously amazing that I had to draw it by Entropy Stew 05/18/2014, 2:46pm PDT NEW
            This is my new desktop wallpaper. NT by Jerry Whorebach 05/18/2014, 4:40pm PDT NEW
                (happy smiley) by Entropy Stew 05/18/2014, 4:50pm PDT NEW
                    Anubis weighs the donuts to determine who is worthy to enter by The Realm of the Double Double 05/18/2014, 8:15pm PDT NEW
 
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