Forum Overview :: Peter Molyneux's The Movies
 
The Hobbit: Part 2 by Rafiki 12/27/2013, 11:36pm PST
If you can't remember anything about the first movie, here's a full recap:

ACT I

King of the Dwarves: I want my kingdom back! *karaoke night*
Orcs: RAAAAUUUGH

ACT II

[chase scene for 2 hours]

THE END

================================================


  • In part 2 there's 2 hours of fight scenes.

  • You will continue to completely not give a shit about any situation anyone is in because it's impossible anything bad will happen, so there's no suspense because there's no chance of consequences.

  • The dwarves also have no distinguishable personalities at all, so even if there was a chance of consequences you wouldn't care anyways.

  • There's an inexplicable love story that starts with an attraction that makes no sense.

  • There's a moment in the movie where the song "Dreamweaver" is going to pop into your head. Try not to disturb the audience with laughter.

  • If you don't walk out of the movie during the stupidest fucking moment of the barrel scene, you'll mentally check out of the movie at least

  • The last 45 minutes is the goddamn dragon, but they telegraph what's going to happen 45 minutes in advance, Smaug has the personality of an old timey comic book villain being impressed with himself and reiterating how powerful and destructive he is, so if you're like me you'll spend the entire time sighing and thinking, "just fucking get on with it already"

  • I've never read the Hobbit, is the gold statue part actually in the book because the whole scheme is completely baffling and retarded.

  • If you're like me, the top 3 things you hated about the LOTR movies were
    1) The Two Towers
    2) Return of the King
    3) Gandalf being played up as a magical badass, but not doing much more than waving a glowstick and falling down a pit.

    In this movie you actually see him do things which make him look powerful, so that's cool.

  • Why in fuck is this movie called The Hobbit? Bilbo only appears to get those rascally dwarves out of a jam during their wacky adventures. We're 6 hours in and I still don't give a shit about him. Is he supposed to grow as a character, because he doesn't.
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The Hobbit by laudablepuss 12/14/2012, 9:47am PST NEW
    No I'm not giving that fat fuck peter jackson my money again NT by Homoerotic hobbit hater 12/14/2012, 10:33am PST NEW
        It's true, LOTR had serious problems by laudablepuss 12/14/2012, 10:51am PST NEW
            The Hobbits became pretty badass in the books, and Frodo started off that way by Entropy Stew 12/14/2012, 5:15pm PST NEW
                How much of that is Peter Jackson and how much Elijah Wood? NT by Mischief Maker 12/18/2012, 10:25pm PST NEW
            They weren't that great to begin with by Vested Id 12/14/2012, 9:10pm PST NEW
    I've got a fantasy movie that I know Dana would enjoy, it's in my head an NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 12/14/2012, 7:56pm PST NEW
    Turning The Hobbit into a trilogy is a bit of a stretch NT by WITTGENSTEIN 12/14/2012, 8:48pm PST NEW
        Just relax and enjoy the fucking movies NT by A Message From Caltrops Cares 12/14/2012, 10:27pm PST NEW
            We don't CRITICIZE NT by Caltrops Mother Hen 12/15/2012, 1:05am PST NEW
            *slurps pap through straw* NT by CRITIC POLICE 12/15/2012, 2:35pm PST NEW
        Next you'll say Kill Bill or Twilight BD weren't grand enough for multiple parts NT by Mischief Box Office Multiplier 12/15/2012, 5:48am PST NEW
            Kill Bill was about 1.5 movies. At least Twilight was a series of books. by WITTGENSTEIN 12/17/2012, 11:21am PST NEW
                They're including the songs. NT by Mischief Maker 12/17/2012, 11:44am PST NEW
                    The first one should have just been all the songs. by motherfuckerfoodeater 12/17/2012, 1:58pm PST NEW
    Modern TVs have a setting to UN-soap opera things like this NT by everyone presses that button first 12/15/2012, 9:07am PST NEW
        Ha ha, "This motion is TOO SMOOTH, where is the turbo button on this 486?!" by Jerry Whorebach 12/16/2012, 9:01pm PST NEW
            Come on. You know videotape looks worse than film. NT by don't go all CALTROPS on us 12/17/2012, 11:35am PST NEW
            [sarcasm]Yeah, because averaging the colors of two frames by creates valuable content[/sarcasm] 12/17/2012, 7:51pm PST NEW
                I don't think that's how they filmed The Hobbit. Or should I say, videotaped it? by Jerry Whorebach 12/17/2012, 8:10pm PST NEW
                    I don't think that's how they filmed The Hobbit. Or should I say, videotaped it? by Ice Cream Jonsey 12/17/2012, 8:41pm PST NEW
                        Someone won a judgement for bradd's shift keys, they're currently buried in a NT by cigar box in his back yard. 12/17/2012, 9:16pm PST NEW
    spoilers: it's a shitheap by Lovable Hobo In A Boxcar 12/22/2012, 2:46pm PST NEW
        oh wow this was totally Zseni NT by unmasker 12/28/2013, 9:11pm PST NEW
    The Hobbit: Part 2 by Rafiki 12/27/2013, 11:36pm PST NEW
        Re: The Hobbit: Part 2 by fabio 12/28/2013, 1:59pm PST NEW
            What's your beef with elf surfing? by Eurotrash 12/28/2013, 2:24pm PST NEW
                Re: What's your beef with elf surfing? by fabio 12/28/2013, 3:32pm PST NEW
                    What's your beef with midget jokes? by Hipster Hitler 12/28/2013, 11:19pm PST NEW
                    signed, NT by Eurotrash 12/28/2013, 11:21pm PST NEW
                Vindication by The Stroke Guy 14 months later! I WIN CALTROPS! NT by WITTGENSTEIN 01/02/2014, 2:11pm PST NEW
                    Dude, let's play again NT by laudablepuss 01/02/2014, 2:51pm PST NEW
        Note and spoiler re: consequences by laudablepuss 01/02/2014, 11:52am PST NEW
 
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