Forum Overview :: Rants
 
You really got me there by You're full of shit again! 08/04/2009, 5:36pm PDT
Quétinbec wrote:

I don't like anyone touching my asshole. It's hairy and I'm ashamed of it. Thanks for sharing your fantasy, though.

So when the landlord gently and lovingly caressed your penis, what was he pushing up against? The small of your back (you told yourself, hopefully)?

Whores know all sorts of tricks to get guys to come instantly. Ball squeezing and asshole fingering are Whore 101. I have a strong suspicion neither was required with you (and you dare call Chinese girls "frightened").

All these other cunts are making fun of you for your boring sex, but I know the truth. You're fucking ashamed there's nothing you've done in your whole life you can be proud of. Not one thing! You brag about making your wanks last a long time. I did the same thing. So did every guy. Who wants a wank to be over quickly? The imaginary people in your head who you assume you're better than?

The whole point of a wank is to indulge yourself in pleasure as much as possible. It's not training for an eventual fuck because no fuck involves lying face-down on a pillow or rubbing yourself raw (no lotion!) or "taking a break" while you fast forward or rewind. I believe you've fucked so I'm not going to pretend to lecture you further on the difference, but that just makes this whole thing even more of a joke. You know you're full of shit, everyone knows you're full of shit, yet you keep on bleating about the "bargain" fuck you've become. It's sad! Stop it.
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Another biking thread. (cycling) by Zsenitan 08/28/2008, 5:17pm PDT NEW
    Lactic Acid. Unless you're stopping to milk yourself while watching the porno. NT by Mischief Maker 08/28/2008, 5:30pm PDT NEW
        FACT CHECK: you are wrong and I am right. NT by Zsenitan, factually 08/28/2008, 5:54pm PDT NEW
            FACT CHECK: I told a joke, you wrote a TO DO: list like sko. Creexul monster NT by Mischief Maker 08/28/2008, 6:14pm PDT NEW
                FACT CHECK: you are yet another bitch incorrectly correcting me. NT by Zsenitan fucking checks your facts 08/28/2008, 6:20pm PDT NEW
                    Zseni calls off engagement, throws ring in MM's face, needle drags across record NT by Last 08/28/2008, 8:56pm PDT NEW
                        She's one special wacko chick. by Mischief Maker 08/28/2008, 9:03pm PDT NEW
                            Awwwww that was cute! Is the rest of the movie that cute? NT by Zsenitan 08/29/2008, 6:25pm PDT NEW
                                The rest of the movie is Sherilyn Fenn fucking and being naked, so yes NT by I need clarification 08/29/2008, 7:27pm PDT NEW
    If you're hitting your physical limit you've had a good day of exercise, sheesh. by Fussbett 08/28/2008, 6:34pm PDT NEW
        MY ONLY PHYSICAL LIMIT IS PANT SIZE AND EVEN THAT IS..... BUSTED by Zsenitan 08/28/2008, 7:49pm PDT NEW
            I would leave it at 2 miles a day but I'm not a big fat lardass. NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 08/28/2008, 7:59pm PDT NEW
                I hate to be this guy, but by motherfuckerfoodeater 08/29/2008, 2:07am PDT NEW
                    This was to Zseni, not Creex. NT by motherfuckerfoodeater 08/29/2008, 2:08am PDT NEW
                    Why does fixed gear make you faster/stronger than just using higest gear only? by Fussbett 07/30/2009, 10:00pm PDT NEW
                        That's what the little bell on your handlebar is for. NT by Jerry Whorebach 07/30/2009, 10:24pm PDT NEW
                            Also: the little horn on the other handlebar. NT by Fullofkittens 07/31/2009, 9:29am PDT NEW
                        Does Toronto have hills? I think you need some hills. NT by Bunyip 07/30/2009, 11:00pm PDT NEW
                            Running feels like biking up a hill, this is true. NT by Fussbett 07/31/2009, 4:16pm PDT NEW
                        I dunno, it always seemed suspect to me. The only advantage is not having derail by Zsenitan 07/30/2009, 11:05pm PDT NEW
                            Jso and I used to ride our bikes a ton. :( by Creexuls, a monster >:3 07/30/2009, 11:34pm PDT NEW
                            I'm using biking to break up running, so I obviously like it well enough by Fussbett 07/31/2009, 12:47pm PDT NEW
                                Are you fucking with me, or perhaps these distinctions are academic? by Zsenitan 07/31/2009, 1:55pm PDT NEW
                                    An Ass Bra and Titanium Ankles: NT by The Zseni Story 07/31/2009, 2:25pm PDT NEW
                                        You really burned her! She walked right into that one. NT by An Idiot 07/31/2009, 3:03pm PDT NEW
                                    I'm talking about exercise. by Fussbett 07/31/2009, 4:11pm PDT NEW
                                        Oh sorry, I missed the brief. "Heh, yours is bigger." NT by Zsenitan 07/31/2009, 5:06pm PDT NEW
                                            Don't they have sports in Toronto? Make your work play. NT by Quétinbec 07/31/2009, 6:15pm PDT NEW
                                                I assume you're talking to me as she doesn't live in Toronto. by Fussbett 07/31/2009, 8:32pm PDT NEW
                                                    Re: I assume you're talking to me as she doesn't live in Toronto. by Quétinbec 08/01/2009, 12:09am PDT NEW
                                                        Finally, something you're better at: basketball. Congrats on using your height. by Fussbett 08/01/2009, 2:48am PDT NEW
                                                            Few doubt I'd be better at most things. by Quétinbec 08/01/2009, 5:18pm PDT NEW
                                                                Constant crying isn't a trademark of people who win a lot. by Fussbett 08/01/2009, 9:49pm PDT NEW
                                                                    I'd cry more if I felt maturity required jogs around your smoggy block. by Quétinbec 08/02/2009, 12:26am PDT NEW
                                                                        Not doubting you can always cry more! by Fussbett 08/02/2009, 11:01am PDT NEW
                                                                            It's the price I pay for getting to smile more than 12 y/o's. by Quétinbec 08/02/2009, 5:10pm PDT NEW
                                                                                Re: It's the price I pay for getting to smile more than 12 y/o's. by motherfuckerfoodeater 08/02/2009, 6:32pm PDT NEW
                                                                                Your crying/smiling/hunching calibrations must be intricate. by Fussbett 08/03/2009, 2:38am PDT NEW
                                                                                    They're spot on. I've got all this shit figured out. by Quétinbec 08/03/2009, 5:27pm PDT NEW
                                                                                        FALLACY: an endless fuck is a good fuck by up with pod people 08/03/2009, 8:00pm PDT NEW
                                                                                            Endless and don't forget motionless. Just rhythmic pumping for 30 minutes. NT by Quétinbot 08/03/2009, 10:38pm PDT NEW
                                                                                            TRUTH: a 30 minute fuck is a thorough fuck by Quétinbec 08/04/2009, 3:41am PDT NEW
                                                                                                thorough?? oh man by up with pod people 08/04/2009, 8:22am PDT NEW
                                                                                                    Goddamn I love this thread. NT by Last 08/04/2009, 10:17am PDT NEW
                                                                                                    To be fair to QB, listening to a woman for any kind of relationship advice is NT by the worst possible thing you can do 08/04/2009, 12:22pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                    Re: thorough?? oh man by Eurotrash 08/04/2009, 12:23pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                        apples to oranges by up with pod people 08/04/2009, 12:49pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                            lol by Eurotrash 08/05/2009, 11:30pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                    Re: thorough?? oh man by motherfuckerfoodeater 08/04/2009, 12:39pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                        I was more expecting "they're Americans! or white! or LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU" NT by up with pod people 08/04/2009, 12:47pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                    Paint? You can't paint a thatch hut! by Quétinbot 08/04/2009, 1:07pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                    I don't need to be told how to fuck a girl. That's my science. by Quétinbec 08/04/2009, 5:05pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                        Re: I don't need to be told how to fuck a girl. That's my science. by up with pod people 08/04/2009, 7:30pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                            You're NT by Zseni 08/04/2009, 7:42pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                                actually no, but she carved me a new asshole in like 2002 and I named it after h NT by up with pod people 08/04/2009, 7:50pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                            I think everyone's missing the point, here by That's what I think 08/04/2009, 9:42pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                                Re: I think everyone's missing the point, here by Quétinbec 08/05/2009, 4:58pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                            Understand that you've never fucked somebody. You've only BEEN fucked. by Quétinbec 08/05/2009, 4:51pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                                Re: Understand that you've never fucked somebody. You've only BEEN fucked. by Zsenitan 08/05/2009, 4:58pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                                Holy control issues! NT by Socio-bot 08/05/2009, 11:11pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                                that's more like it! I thought we were going to indent forever. by up with pod people 08/06/2009, 7:29am PDT NEW
                                                                                                                    INFINITE POST LINK NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 08/06/2009, 8:02am PDT NEW
                                                                                                                    I've had girls direct my fucks entirely. by Quétinbec 08/06/2009, 4:09pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                                        Oh yeah me too no doubt about it absolutely. NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 08/06/2009, 4:15pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                                        What the fuck is this "she's waiting for gravity" shit NT by 9.8 meters per second per second 08/06/2009, 9:11pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                Re: TRUTH: a 30 minute fuck is a thorough fuck by You're full of shit again! 08/04/2009, 10:56am PDT NEW
                                                                                                    I don't need to be told how Asians fuck. I've fucked my share. by Quétinbec 08/04/2009, 5:12pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                        You really got me there by You're full of shit again! 08/04/2009, 5:36pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                            It's Chosen, my cowardly anonymous friend! by Quétinbec 08/05/2009, 5:10pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                                Haha "wank." by Creexuls, a monster >:3 08/05/2009, 5:11pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                                Re: It's Chosen, my cowardly anonymous friend! by I need clarification 08/05/2009, 10:28pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                                    Re: It's Chosen, my cowardly anonymous friend! by Quétinbec 08/06/2009, 4:18pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                                        Caltrops's inevitable circumcision thread should really be its own topic. NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 08/06/2009, 5:14pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                                            It feels better when you're cut, and it's healthier. What's your damage? NT by Devil Dinosaur 08/06/2009, 10:21pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                                                Re: It feels better when you're cut, and it's healthier. What's your damage? by H1N1 08/06/2009, 11:23pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                                                    CIRCUMCISION DECISION NT by Fussbett 08/07/2009, 7:25am PDT NEW
                                                                                                                                        What's your incision? by motherfuckerfoodeater 08/07/2009, 8:08am PDT NEW
                                                                                                                                    Decreases blood-borne pathogen transmission rates. NT by Science 08/07/2009, 8:38am PDT NEW
                                                                                                                                        Cut it off entirely and reduce it to zero! NT by Technology 08/07/2009, 9:54am PDT NEW
                                                                                                                                            If only he'd do that. by Science 08/07/2009, 11:04am PDT NEW
                                                                                                                                                What, and just open the floor to crying catheter stories? NT by Now you're crossing your legs 08/07/2009, 11:11am PDT NEW
                                                                                                                                                    Touché NT by Science 08/07/2009, 12:22pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                                        Re: It's Chosen, my cowardly anonymous friend! by I need clarification 08/06/2009, 6:49pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                                            Re: It's Chosen, my cowardly anonymous friend! by Quétinbec 08/07/2009, 3:33pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                                                Re: It's Chosen, my cowardly anonymous friend! by I need clarification 08/07/2009, 6:21pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                            This is the second time I've inadvertently disagreed with QB detractors! by Fuck me! 08/05/2009, 6:27pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                                Re: This is the second time I've inadvertently disagreed with QB detractors! by I need clarification 08/05/2009, 10:29pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                        Thanks for sharing YOUR fantasy though NT by Quétinbec's Shitty Retort Report 08/04/2009, 7:17pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                Re: TRUTH: a 30 minute fuck is a thorough fuck by Ryan Paul 08/22/2012, 1:09pm PDT NEW
                                                                                        You really took me to task for SF4. I should've never revealed I like video gam by Fussbett 08/05/2009, 5:49pm PDT NEW
                                                                                            It's life lesson time for Fussbett. by Quétinbec 08/06/2009, 5:02pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                For my next trick, I will start a land war in Asia. NT by Quétinbec 08/06/2009, 5:09pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                You have admit, he has a point by I need clarification 08/06/2009, 6:10pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                New Zealand's Paris Hilton! Except you'll run out of money. by Fussbett 08/06/2009, 9:58pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                    This thread needs a link on the front page NT by Fortinbras 08/07/2009, 2:03am PDT NEW
                                                                                                        It needs to be released in book form like The Great Outdoor Fight NT by Fullofkittens 08/07/2009, 4:07am PDT NEW
                                                                                                            A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Queerness NT by Hans Clastorp 08/07/2009, 12:17pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                                Haha, awesome. NT by Fullofkittens 08/08/2009, 6:39pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                    Working in the name of by Quétinbec 08/07/2009, 3:30pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                        Grandma did you enjoy a 30 minute fuck from Grandpa? Would you like one now? NT by Quétinbec at his Grandma's 08/07/2009, 3:59pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                        Hey guys, "bathe in the sea" QB is back by motherfuckerfoodeater 08/07/2009, 4:13pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                        Your estimated net worth is not relative to the society you're in but the world by Karl Marx 08/07/2009, 4:46pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                        Check it out! by Fussbett 08/07/2009, 9:05pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                            Haha. I fought hard against mentioning "HVAC products", but lost. NT by Fussbett 08/07/2009, 11:43pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                        I knew Karl Marx would agree with me. by Fussbett 08/08/2009, 1:05am PDT NEW
                                                                                                            The Colonel Kurtz crack was a bit of a low blow, I thought. Jesus!! NT by Souffle of Pain 08/08/2009, 1:42am PDT NEW
                                                                                                            In trying to distance himself from society, Fussbett's said some embarassing thi by Quétinbec 08/12/2009, 2:51am PDT NEW
                                                                                                                Re: In trying to distance himself from society, Fussbett's said some embarassing by motherfuckerfoodeater 08/12/2009, 5:14am PDT NEW
                                                                                                                    mffe, leave the arguing to the big boys, you pest by Caltrops Adjudicator 08/12/2009, 8:25am PDT NEW
                                                                                                                        Overruled (gavel bang). The witness will answer. NT by Judge Fortinbras 08/12/2009, 3:03pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                                            Who are you again? Are you a Jolt Country guy? NT by Caltrops Adjudicator 08/12/2009, 5:50pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                                                You caught me. I'm... NT by Worm. 08/12/2009, 10:04pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                                                    Only after hours of firing into the ceiling is this revealed. NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 08/12/2009, 11:39pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                                    MFFE, if people don't like you, we can't risk being seen together. Sorry. NT by Quétinbec 08/12/2009, 2:42pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                                        What a dick thing to say. by Zsenitan 08/12/2009, 2:46pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                                            Fuck! The last update seems to be stripping "NSFW" from titles. Sorry, gang NT by Caltrops Admins 08/12/2009, 7:54pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                                Please don't grovel! NT by Your Mum 08/12/2009, 7:40am PDT NEW
                                                                                                                    ...when you can GAVEL! NT by Caltrops Adjudicator 08/12/2009, 3:17pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                                I'm going to start keeping these brief. by Fussbett 08/12/2009, 2:59pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                        He's been undressed by kings by Bunyip 08/09/2009, 6:39pm PDT NEW
                                                                        Hey my name's in this one. by Jerry Whorebach, leading navelgazer 08/02/2009, 6:36pm PDT NEW
                                                                            This Jerry post works as a response to every post on this thread! NT by Mr. Helper 08/08/2009, 2:45pm PDT NEW
                                                                    Another Williamsburg connection to QB by FABIO 08/02/2009, 9:28pm PDT NEW
                                                                        Tales of old Brooklyn by motherfuckerfoodeater 08/02/2009, 11:03pm PDT NEW
                                                                ymca NT by gruman 08/01/2009, 10:30pm PDT NEW
                                                        So we're just letting the "too scared to play charades" line go, then? NT by Faggot Patrol 08/04/2009, 9:59am PDT NEW
                                                        Re: I assume you're talking to me as she doesn't live in Toronto. by I need clarification 08/04/2009, 2:13pm PDT NEW
                                                            It's a lecture on the perils of team sports by an overweight 40 y/o. by Quétinbec 08/04/2009, 5:51pm PDT NEW
                                                                Re: It's a lecture on the perils of team sports by an overweight 40 y/o. by Statistician 08/04/2009, 6:10pm PDT NEW
                                                                Having a kid = no risk and other lectures from our banker friend by I need clarification 08/04/2009, 6:40pm PDT NEW
                                                                    Gestated. NT by Irene Wong 08/04/2009, 6:45pm PDT NEW
                                                                        Haha NT by Fullofkittens 08/04/2009, 7:05pm PDT NEW
                                                                    Whoah whoah, slow down by motherfuckerfoodeater 08/04/2009, 10:42pm PDT NEW
                                                                    Re: Having a kid = no risk and other lectures from our banker friend by Quétinbec 08/05/2009, 5:25pm PDT NEW
                                                                        Re: Having a kid = no risk and other lectures from our banker friend by That's what I think 08/05/2009, 10:26pm PDT NEW
                                                                            Oops, it turns out it wasn't Choson after all! NT by I need clarification 08/05/2009, 10:27pm PDT NEW
                                                                                chosen NT by gruman 08/05/2009, 11:11pm PDT NEW
                                                                        Re: Having a kid = no risk and other lectures from our banker friend by Mischief Maker 08/12/2009, 7:51am PDT NEW
                                                                            You guys are way out of line with these crying remarks. by Quétinbec 08/12/2009, 2:40pm PDT NEW
                                                                                Re: You guys are way out of line with these crying remarks. by Horrible Gelatinous Blob 08/12/2009, 3:37pm PDT NEW
                                                                                Re: You guys are way out of line with these crying remarks. by Mischief Maker 08/12/2009, 9:28pm PDT NEW
                                        Re: I'm talking about exercise. by Eurotrash 08/02/2009, 11:49pm PDT NEW
                                            Angel Summoner & BMX Bandit by Zsenitan 08/02/2009, 11:59pm PDT NEW
                                                Poor BMX Bandit, replaced by a fucking (w)horse bitch. Schugar lumps. :( NT by Eurotrash 08/03/2009, 1:39am PDT NEW
                                                A young Rorschach. NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 08/03/2009, 5:45am PDT NEW
                                                Great Britain needs to knock it off with the laugh tracks NT by Entropy Stew 08/03/2009, 10:16am PDT NEW
                                                    lol by Eurotrash 08/03/2009, 11:59am PDT NEW
                        Sounds like you went into Curbside? by mark 07/31/2009, 8:06am PDT NEW
                            Re: Sounds like you went into Curbside? by motherfuckerfoodeater 07/31/2009, 11:00am PDT NEW
                                Re: Sounds like you went into Curbside? by mark 07/31/2009, 11:58am PDT NEW
                                Re: Sounds like you went into Curbside? by Fussbett 07/31/2009, 12:12pm PDT NEW
                                    I'm going to reply to both of you here: by motherfuckerfoodeater 07/31/2009, 1:03pm PDT NEW
                                        "your top speed gets a tremendous boost." <-- still not seeing this by Fussbett 07/31/2009, 4:22pm PDT NEW
                                            Read the sentence you quoted again. by motherfuckerfoodeater 08/02/2009, 6:30pm PDT NEW
                                                Oh, you're saying the top speed boost is just from improved leg strength. by Fussbett 08/03/2009, 12:49am PDT NEW
                                                    >:( NT by Entropy Stew 08/03/2009, 10:19am PDT NEW
                            No, the seemingly innocuous Broadway Cycle on Bloor by Fussbett 07/31/2009, 12:23pm PDT NEW
                                Re: No, the seemingly innocuous Broadway Cycle on Bloor by mark 07/31/2009, 1:53pm PDT NEW
                        Would you describe those bike store workers as hipsters? NT by FABIO 07/31/2009, 12:35pm PDT NEW
                            I would NT by Fussbett 07/31/2009, 12:48pm PDT NEW
            Does Master of Magic work well in DOSbox? NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 08/30/2008, 7:41pm PDT NEW
                I just fiddle with the memory settings and run it nekkid by Zsenitan 08/31/2008, 8:31am PDT NEW
                    SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO >:( by E. L. Koba 09/01/2008, 12:32pm PDT NEW
                        EEEE TROLLS by Zsenitan 09/02/2008, 3:29pm PDT NEW
                    I found the instruction manual to this! by Ice Cream Jonsey 08/09/2009, 6:09pm PDT NEW
                        I swear it's one of the best games ever by Entropy Stew 08/10/2009, 8:11am PDT NEW
                Runs great for me. MIDI music + SBLiveII sound ran on the default settings NT by Entropy Stew 09/01/2008, 3:08pm PDT NEW
                Use DFEND reloaded - it runs great by McMoo 08/06/2009, 3:49pm PDT NEW
                    Re: Use DFEND reloaded - it runs great by Caltrops Help Desk 08/09/2009, 12:28am PDT NEW
    Re: Another biking thread. (cycling) by Quétinbec 08/31/2008, 12:54am PDT NEW
        PS: Get out of Canada NT by loser 08/31/2008, 1:34am PDT NEW
            thats ALWAYS good advice :D NT by Weyoun Voidbringer 08/31/2008, 4:44am PDT NEW
        Re: Another biking thread. (cycling) by Zsenitan 08/31/2008, 8:29am PDT NEW
            Re: Another biking thread. (cycling) by Quétinbec 09/01/2008, 5:01am PDT NEW
                By sports you mean - what exactly? MMA or soccer, you cringing faggot? by Zsenitan 09/01/2008, 7:42pm PDT NEW
                    Why not combine the two? And call it... RUGBUM NT by Jerry Whorebach 09/01/2008, 10:45pm PDT NEW
    I am the most feared Caltrops poster of 2010 - 2020 NT by Jim Rice 08/01/2009, 1:59pm PDT NEW
        Whoa, how the fuck did this end up here? by Ice Cream Jonsey 08/04/2009, 3:44pm PDT NEW
            This thread has had a lot of highlights by motherfuckerfoodeater 08/04/2009, 3:46pm PDT NEW
    Shit cyclists say by fabio 08/12/2012, 4:45pm PDT NEW
 
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