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Forum Overview
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The Knuckle Shuffle
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by Quétinbec 07/14/2009, 3:40pm PDT |
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So for the last 7 years I've been driving on a restricted licence. It's like a full licence but you can't drive children. It hasn't been a big deal because most of the countries I've wanted to drive in don't give a fuck about licences. But the Arabs care, so I have to get my international driver's licence, which means I've got to get my full NZ licence here now, or sit the test in Arabic there.
I'm an OK driver but it's the whole "before changing lanes, check side mirrors, rear mirror, AND turn your head to check your blind spot or FAIL" thing. Who does all that shit? Because of the massive testing backlog, there's about a month's wait before you can do the test, so I've got one shot at it before I have to leave, and if I fuck it up, I'm fucked because there's no workable public transport there.
So I was freaking out about it, but then I talked to a guy there and he was like, "My wife doesn't have her licence and it's not a problem because we just pay a driver $60 a week to take her wherever she wants to go."
Fuck a dedicated driver, BUT many of the maids have international driver's licenses. If you get a maid by the hour from an agency, they're like $2 an hour. BUT, if you have a live in maid, they're like $50 a week! Cheaper than a driver AND they'll clean your toilet!
It's not like she'd have much else to do though, so I'd be really cool and teach her to sew and she could make things. I'd be her best boss ever! Totally better than an Arab.
This is what I've been thinking about. The problem, though, is that you'd probably fall in love with her. It would be fucking weird. And then, after a few months when you'd found your feet and wanted to move on to bigger and better girls, she'd still be living in your apartment and she'd become a pain in your ass. Even if you were a gentleman and didn't fuck her, everyone would think you were fucking her. The maids have to supply photos to help you choose. Why did you choose such a young sexy maid? I don't see how you could get away with it. Everyone would think bad things. I would think bad things. But if I fail my full licence, I'd have an excuse: I need to get around and it's cheaper to have a live in maid than a full time driver. She might as well be pretty, right? No. No one would accept it.
Maybe I could resist fucking her. I can't see how that would happen if I'm always ordering her to do things, though. Bossing her around would get you pretty horny. I've fallen in love with some fucking losers but a Filipino maid in the Middle East would be especially embarrassing. If I got one on a 6 month contract and her English was really bad, communication would be so frustrating that there could be no danger of it becoming a long term relationship. She would need some serious non-physical flaw for me to be comfortable dismissing her.
A FUCKING SLAVE THOUGH MAN! That's what she'd pretty much be. No rights, no passport she can freely access (to keep her from stealing things). Having control over someone like that would teach you a lot about yourself.
I think if I'm not enjoying myself after 3 months, that shit is happening. Because I've never really lived alone before. I've stayed in hotels by myself but that was always on my way to be with someone or in between finding people. They won't let me share with another foreigner because of their housing allowance bullshit. They're ok with live in maids, though. So, they're my only option, really. |
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Koba, did you or your friends ever fuck an Arab? by Quétinbec 07/11/2009, 3:53pm PDT 
Koba, it's time to answer this question. NT by Quétinbec 07/13/2009, 2:25pm PDT
Oh, sorry, no. by E. L. Koba 07/14/2009, 12:06am PDT
Re: Oh, sorry, no. by Quétinbec 07/14/2009, 3:01am PDT
Yes Koba, did you masturbate literally 100% of your waking hours? by Creexuls, a monster >:3 07/14/2009, 3:12am PDT
We already know that QB wanks while thinking about soldiers by E. L. Koba 07/14/2009, 1:56pm PDT
Maid fantasies by Quétinbec 07/14/2009, 3:40pm PDT
You make it sound more complicated than it really is by Jerry Whorebach 07/14/2009, 4:39pm PDT
Solution: hire a male maid, oops that won't work by I need clarification 07/14/2009, 4:45pm PDT
Not even gypsies? NT by Mysterio 07/14/2009, 5:14pm PDT
Re: Solution: hire a male maid, oops that won't work by Quétinbec 07/14/2009, 6:40pm PDT
Re: Solution: hire a male maid, oops that won't work by Quétinbec Sr. 07/14/2009, 7:16pm PDT
Like trying to insult Howard Stern on his own show. You lose everytime, man. NT by Don't do it. 07/14/2009, 9:02pm PDT
If you do it on someone else's show though Howard loses. NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 07/14/2009, 9:12pm PDT
Good idea, I'll go post on POE about what a castrated shell of a man INC is. NT by Quétinbec 07/14/2009, 9:14pm PDT
Funny Ators only, please. NT by Quétinbec 07/14/2009, 9:57pm PDT
Why, so you can sweep in and take credit for something clever you didn't post? by Quétinbec 07/15/2009, 12:28pm PDT
INC's Jewish. (Not white) NT by Fortinbras 07/14/2009, 9:52pm PDT
Re: Solution: hire a male maid, oops that won't work by I need clarification 07/15/2009, 1:48am PDT
Re: Solution: hire a male maid, oops that won't work by Quétinbec 07/16/2009, 10:24pm PDT
Re: Solution: hire a male maid, oops that won't work by I need clarification 07/16/2009, 11:54pm PDT
I read "To each his own" as "You're right, I'm a fucking loser" NT by Fortinbras 07/17/2009, 12:01am PDT
If you read everything that way, you'd save us a lot of time. NT by Quétinbec 07/17/2009, 2:45pm PDT
Haha NT by I need clarification 07/17/2009, 2:51pm PDT
Re: Maid fantasies by Quétinbec Sr. 07/14/2009, 5:54pm PDT
Re: Driver drivel by Honk Honk 07/14/2009, 9:20pm PDT
Hey, no money outs! It's fun to see him wrestle with the problems of a teenager NT by Fussbett 07/14/2009, 9:33pm PDT
Re: Driver drivel by Quétinbec 07/14/2009, 9:56pm PDT
mark all as read, minimize NT by Weyoun Voidbringer 07/14/2009, 8:13pm PDT
What will you do with the time you saved? NT by Fussbett 07/14/2009, 9:13pm PDT
BOIL AN EGG NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 07/14/2009, 9:25pm PDT
Paint a picture NT by fight club 07/15/2009, 10:27am PDT
I'm learning French. NT by Weyoun Voidbringer 07/14/2009, 9:58pm PDT
1NrcvFXdRe0 by Weyoun Voidbringer 07/14/2009, 10:44pm PDT
the hepburn family are all admitted socialists, LET'S SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN etc by Weyoun Voidbringer 07/14/2009, 11:04pm PDT
He's gone insane. NT by Fortinbras 07/14/2009, 11:38pm PDT
I wish Josh would PROPERLY ignore all my threads forever. NT by Quétinbec 07/15/2009, 12:18am PDT
Wish in one hand and crap in the other and see which piles up faster. 8( NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 07/15/2009, 12:19am PDT
yes, tampering with your utterly unreadable threads with my quality posts by Weyoun Voidbringer 07/15/2009, 1:27am PDT
You're a faggot cocksucker douchebag. NT by Worm 07/15/2009, 1:40pm PDT
mark all as read, minimize NT by quality posts 07/15/2009, 2:13pm PDT
Re: yes, tampering with your utterly unreadable threads with my quality posts by Caltrops Reality Check Team 07/15/2009, 6:25pm PDT
...unless he keeps insulting his girlfriend so badly that he makes himself cry. NT by Fullofkittens 07/15/2009, 6:37pm PDT
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