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by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 10/18/2007, 8:48pm PDT |
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It's like a DS virtual pet game. At the very very beginning you go to the NINTENDO DOG KENNEL, and the first thing you do is knock on the door. Virtually.
I really don't want to actually seriously play this game. I don't really like dogs, moom has two of the most retarded dumb piece of shit dogs ever, although puppies are always nice. Anyway I don't know what is sad, virtually feeding and playing with a dog, or virtually getting into it on a regular basis.
Fortunately it's easy to stop playing. After about 20 minutes, having taught the dog a couple tricks, fed, watered, and taken the dog for a walk, that was it. It only has enough energy for one walk at first, and then gets tired and will only learn so many tricks (sit, lie down, roll over) before it's done and the game refuses to let you continue trying to teach it or taking it out for a walk. IT!!!!!!!!!!! So, after that 20 minutes, game over, for a literal real life day, because the game works by the DS's internal clock, so it tells you to try again tomorrow whenever something happens. I guess anyway, maybe just a simple restart counts as a "next day," although that would be kind of ridiculous.
So you pick your dog variety, which they have about 6 of to pick per game (there are like 2 or 3 others sold separately, because ever since the N64 Nintendo has always been really big on making you buy one game split into 3 parts, or peripherals required to play the latest games fuckin BULLSHIT). So you pick your dog and pay your virtual money for it (starting at $1000, then money gets spent on supplies or other dogs, I don't know how you earn this money but I guess it'll just come gradually?). Then you take your dog home and it runs you through the tutorials. First you name the dog by saying it into the microphone. If you don't want to talk into your microphone for a game, don't even start with this one, because the mic is a major part of Nintendogging. I named him FUCKER and then typed it in as FUCKER >:( with an angry face icon on the virtual keyboard. Then you teach it tricks, and it has these really specific rules for the trick things. You pet its head (virtually), then bring your stylus down its virtual nose in a very quick fashion, and it'll sit. Then hit the light bulb icon in the upper right, and say the name of your command (you can really call it anything you want). Then the game plays back a super low quality version of your voice so you sound like a RETARD, and a light bulb goes off over the dog's head to show that it understood. Do this 2 or 3 more times (apparently you can pick a more stubborn dog that is hard to train, WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS FAGGOT?) and it'll have the trick memorized.
There are other things in the game, like teaching it to catch frisbees, and then you can take it to competitions for fisbee catch and agility bloo bloo and obedience competition, and perhaps you earn money through that. I don't know if I really want to play a virtual pet dogs game for that long.
Aside from the idea of wasting my life with a non real dog (although it's definitely easier than having a real dog, PSH), it makes me feel a little depressed when you pet it and its eyes go all closed and happy and its head shakes. The animations are great and the dogs jump and scamper, and it makes me think, this thing is a PROGRAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE'RE ALL IN A COMPUTER MATRIX. But really, the virtual dog acts so happy that I don't know if I should really encourage it. I feel like Picard when he was in the gayest possible nexus fantasy ever and he sees the magic flashing christmas ornaments that have a supernova inside them like the one that vaporizes his entire fuckin crew in the previous scene, and he says THIS ISN'T RIGHT. That is how I feel when I see the Nintendog's virtual eyes close when I pet him. However I don't feel that way when I get the (virtual) dog to roll over. I am like, yay you actually did a thing I said (out loud ~_~). I guess it doesn't react to me saying "good" into the microphone, so I'm going to like NOT do that. :(
Also, there's something called a "bark mode," which is like a DS detector of other people who have a DS with Nintendogs running, and if there's someone else nearby with that, your dogs can interact. The chances of this happening have to be in the trillions. I'm sure they thought of this as a way to get fellow virtual dog owners to interact and fall in love but then distrust each other and start fighting and BITCH I WISH YOU WOUUUUUULD BURN MY MUTHAFUCKIN CLOOOOOOWOAOWOWOTHES, MILTON etc.
So anyway, I'd quit, but I kind of want to see what it looks like to do some of the competitions and shit. |
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R4 is here, it works. I can short review any DS game ever, now. by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 10/14/2007, 5:55am PDT 
For those without R4 or DS: Phoenix Wright Ace attorney is emulated perfectly. by Worm 10/14/2007, 9:57am PDT
Yeah whatever, SO ANYWAY. by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 10/14/2007, 1:04pm PDT
Re: Yeah whatever, SO ANYWAY. by Lizard_King 10/14/2007, 7:54pm PDT
Yes, it seems the game is too busy delivering a story to let me figure out puzzl NT by diet Coke/Grumah forever 10/14/2007, 11:38pm PDT
I FINALLY finished Phoenix Wright 1. by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 11/01/2007, 2:31am PDT
Re: I FINALLY finished Phoenix Wright 1. by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 11/01/2007, 2:43am PDT
Re: I FINALLY finished Phoenix Wright 1. by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 11/01/2007, 3:43am PDT
Anyway about the actual game. by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 11/01/2007, 4:25am PDT
The second game so far is a shitload worse by diet Coke/Grumah forever 11/01/2007, 5:26am PDT
Your boss, Tits Mcgee, is killed at the start of the second act! NT by diet Coke/Grumah forever 10/14/2007, 12:36pm PDT
I wasn't going to mention that because it is a spoiler. O_O by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 10/14/2007, 1:09pm PDT
Adventures of April May, fuckin tit monster. by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 10/14/2007, 1:27pm PDT
I was actually SHOCKED by Ethan Steele 10/14/2007, 5:43pm PDT
The 3rd one is still a GBA port, the 4th is DS from the ground up by FABIO 10/14/2007, 7:36pm PDT
Re: I was actually SHOCKED by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 10/15/2007, 2:04am PDT
That witch toucher game. by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 10/14/2007, 2:37pm PDT
The singular review on gamefaqs goes into a little more detail. by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 10/14/2007, 2:45pm PDT
I finally touched a witch (in the vagiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii VAGINA). by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 10/15/2007, 1:54pm PDT
front page? NT by Jerry Whorebach 10/15/2007, 6:32pm PDT
Re: I finally touched a witch (in the vagiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii VAGINA). by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 10/16/2007, 6:07am PDT
Re: I finally touched a witch (in the vagiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii VAGINA). by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 10/16/2007, 6:36am PDT
You;'re killing the site with this stupidity! NT by WALLxOFxTEXT 10/19/2007, 3:38pm PDT
RUUUUUU WHO THE FUCK IS THIS!!!!!!! ANSWER ME by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 10/19/2007, 4:22pm PDT
Re: RUUUUUU WHO THE FUCK IS THIS!!!!!!! ANSWER ME by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 10/19/2007, 4:23pm PDT
Re: I finally touched a witch (in the vagiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii VAGINA). by Mischief Maker 10/16/2007, 8:19am PDT
Yes except they're 14 instead of 8, and you molest them for real. NT by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 10/16/2007, 9:15am PDT
Okay tit bouncing does work, there, game deleted, replaced with Nintendogs. NT by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 10/18/2007, 8:24pm PDT
Super Peach Brothers or something (I mean Super Princess Peach). by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 10/14/2007, 3:20pm PDT
I played some more of this Peach game. by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 10/15/2007, 12:53pm PDT
Oh yeah the Peach powwas. by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 10/15/2007, 5:07pm PDT
Harvest Mewn DS by diet Coke/Grumah forever 10/14/2007, 6:32pm PDT
Elite Beat Agents. by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 10/15/2007, 1:41pm PDT
All of the songs are covers. by Lizard_King 10/18/2007, 10:41pm PDT
Re: All of the songs are covers. by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 10/19/2007, 12:04am PDT
Yoar the insparashan (a very special episode of Elite Beat Agents). by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 10/19/2007, 1:57pm PDT
I love this so much NT by Entropy Stew 10/19/2007, 3:17pm PDT
Nintendogs: Dalmation........ AND ****FRIENDS**** ^______________________^ by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 10/18/2007, 8:48pm PDT
Nobody is going to read this, due to the post title NT by Clean it up you fucking retard 10/19/2007, 3:36pm PDT
No. NT by HURRRRRR CREEXUL ^^^___^ 10/19/2007, 3:37pm PDT
That wasn't me but that's basically the response I would've made. :( NT by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 10/19/2007, 4:19pm PDT
whiny fags cant read underscores, think of the whinefags next time pal >:( NT by diet Coke/Grumah forever 10/19/2007, 8:06pm PDT
Yeah, putting ^____^ in the post title is still hilarious. Shut the fuck up! NT by Clean it up you fucking brotard 10/19/2007, 8:24pm PDT
sounds like sasy is still "lurking" NT by diet Coke/Grumah forever 10/19/2007, 9:50pm PDT
Bill Dungsroman :( NT by Probably 10/19/2007, 10:44pm PDT
It could be a person who is crazy. NT by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 10/19/2007, 10:50pm PDT
Is it literally worse than the holocaust or just figuratively? SERIOUS BUSINESS NT by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 10/19/2007, 10:17pm PDT
I was trying to do a good thing. by Ellen Degeneres 10/19/2007, 10:51pm PDT
So the animal shelter decided it has TOO MUCH funding? by Jerry Whorebach 10/19/2007, 11:12pm PDT
I fucking hate the Cables NT by - 10/19/2007, 8:25pm PDT
They fucking sicken me NT by - 10/19/2007, 8:25pm PDT
$1000 Paypal to whoever gives me their address! NT by - 10/19/2007, 8:25pm PDT
So you can terrify them with your puppet-fucking antics? NT by Mischief Maker 10/19/2007, 8:50pm PDT
He wants to kill me so bad he can taste it (Attica). NT by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 10/19/2007, 10:15pm PDT
You win this round, Cable! But you haven't heard the last... of me! NT by - 10/19/2007, 11:32pm PDT
BDR/sasy/algore/david caruso NT by diet Coke/Grumah forever 10/20/2007, 1:50am PDT
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