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Forum Overview
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Reviews
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by Jerry Whorebach 09/14/2007, 3:26am PDT |
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They had to make the player character a fat old fuck to explain why he can't fit through man-sized holes in the walls/ceilings/floors or push a fifty-pound shelving unit out of his way, two things the hopped-up super-hobos seem to have no trouble with. If he COULD do either of those things it would obviously break the game, since every interaction I've had with speaking characters so far has taken place with some scaffolding or a desk or a knocked-over lamp (I CAN'T STEP THERE, IS FULL OF BROKEN GLASS MANG, I COULD GET SOME AIDS OFF THAT SHIT) seperating me from the other guy while he escapes or just stands there rolling his eyes while I whine about being trapped in here all by myself in the dark.
You shall not pass.
Condemned seems to delight in jerking me around. First I get a gun and lose it in a cutscene. Then I get a fire axe that can't cut through plywood, drywall or legs. Then I get a whole... hoodie, I guess, it's not like I'm carrying a kit or anything... full of forensic tools that I can only use when my CSI sense is tingling. Then the game shoves me into some abandoned warehouse or whatever and tells me not to come back without three pieces of metal and a dead bird. There's no way I'd stand for this shit if it wasn't coming from Jason Hall, the world's strongest man.
I don't see no dead bird, bitch. |
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Review request: Condemned Criminal Origins by Flavio 04/17/2006, 1:08pm PDT 
"Keep these two words in mind as you watch this demo: Jerry Bruckheimer." NT by Condemned Developer 04/17/2006, 3:45pm PDT 
=( NT by Flavio 04/17/2006, 8:21pm PDT 
So much worse than either of those. by Lizard_King 04/18/2006, 7:25pm PDT 
Is it too late to bump this one? by Schadenfreude 02/24/2007, 9:03pm PST 
Condemned: Criminal Origins - Full-Fledged Review by Schadenfreude 04/14/2007, 5:41am PDT 
No. by Lizard_King 04/14/2007, 7:14am PDT 
Re: No. by Schadenfreude 04/14/2007, 11:25am PDT 
So you're saying it's System Shock II Takes Manhattan? by Jerry Whorebach 04/14/2007, 11:45am PDT 
My thoughts after the first level by Jerry Whorebach 09/14/2007, 3:26am PDT 
I can't leave without my buddy 3 pieces of metal and dead bird. NT by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 09/14/2007, 4:36am PDT 
My thoughts after the tenth (and final) level by Jerry Whorebach 09/17/2007, 6:52pm PDT 
Thanks, this review is next on my list NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 04/15/2007, 10:34pm PDT 
I've had some time to think it over, and I've come to the conclusion... by Jerry Whorebach 04/27/2010, 3:33am PDT 
*incredible CONTENT NT by Jerry Whorebach 04/27/2010, 3:35am PDT 
"a lot of incredible buried in it" = Caltrops version of "full of win" NT by MEME CREATED! 04/27/2010, 8:46am PDT 
Did you ever play System Shock 2? by Flavio 04/14/2007, 2:03pm PDT 
Nope, somehow I missed that one ... by Schadenfreude 04/15/2007, 11:20pm PDT 
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