Forum Overview :: Reviews
 
My thoughts after the first level by Jerry Whorebach 09/14/2007, 3:26am PDT
They had to make the player character a fat old fuck to explain why he can't fit through man-sized holes in the walls/ceilings/floors or push a fifty-pound shelving unit out of his way, two things the hopped-up super-hobos seem to have no trouble with. If he COULD do either of those things it would obviously break the game, since every interaction I've had with speaking characters so far has taken place with some scaffolding or a desk or a knocked-over lamp (I CAN'T STEP THERE, IS FULL OF BROKEN GLASS MANG, I COULD GET SOME AIDS OFF THAT SHIT) seperating me from the other guy while he escapes or just stands there rolling his eyes while I whine about being trapped in here all by myself in the dark.


You shall not pass.

Condemned seems to delight in jerking me around. First I get a gun and lose it in a cutscene. Then I get a fire axe that can't cut through plywood, drywall or legs. Then I get a whole... hoodie, I guess, it's not like I'm carrying a kit or anything... full of forensic tools that I can only use when my CSI sense is tingling. Then the game shoves me into some abandoned warehouse or whatever and tells me not to come back without three pieces of metal and a dead bird. There's no way I'd stand for this shit if it wasn't coming from Jason Hall, the world's strongest man.


I don't see no dead bird, bitch.
PREVIOUS NEXT REPLY QUOTE
 
Review request: Condemned Criminal Origins by Flavio 04/17/2006, 1:08pm PDT NEW
    "Keep these two words in mind as you watch this demo: Jerry Bruckheimer." NT by Condemned Developer 04/17/2006, 3:45pm PDT NEW
        =( NT by Flavio 04/17/2006, 8:21pm PDT NEW
    So much worse than either of those. by Lizard_King 04/18/2006, 7:25pm PDT NEW
        Is it too late to bump this one? by Schadenfreude 02/24/2007, 9:03pm PST NEW
            Condemned: Criminal Origins - Full-Fledged Review by Schadenfreude 04/14/2007, 5:41am PDT NEW
                No. by Lizard_King 04/14/2007, 7:14am PDT NEW
                    Re: No. by Schadenfreude 04/14/2007, 11:25am PDT NEW
                So you're saying it's System Shock II Takes Manhattan? by Jerry Whorebach 04/14/2007, 11:45am PDT NEW
                    My thoughts after the first level by Jerry Whorebach 09/14/2007, 3:26am PDT NEW
                        I can't leave without my buddy 3 pieces of metal and dead bird. NT by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 09/14/2007, 4:36am PDT NEW
                            My thoughts after the tenth (and final) level by Jerry Whorebach 09/17/2007, 6:52pm PDT NEW
                Thanks, this review is next on my list NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 04/15/2007, 10:34pm PDT NEW
                I've had some time to think it over, and I've come to the conclusion... by Jerry Whorebach 04/27/2010, 3:33am PDT NEW
                    *incredible CONTENT NT by Jerry Whorebach 04/27/2010, 3:35am PDT NEW
                        "a lot of incredible buried in it" = Caltrops version of "full of win" NT by MEME CREATED! 04/27/2010, 8:46am PDT NEW
            Did you ever play System Shock 2? by Flavio 04/14/2007, 2:03pm PDT NEW
                Nope, somehow I missed that one ... by Schadenfreude 04/15/2007, 11:20pm PDT NEW
 
powered by pointy