Forum Overview :: Reviews :: My thoughts after the first level

[quote name="Jerry Whorebach"]They had to make the player character a fat old fuck to explain why he can't fit through man-sized holes in the walls/ceilings/floors or push a fifty-pound shelving unit out of his way, two things the hopped-up super-hobos seem to have no trouble with. If he COULD do either of those things it would obviously break the game, since every interaction I've had with speaking characters so far has taken place with some scaffolding or a desk or a knocked-over lamp (I CAN'T STEP THERE, IS FULL OF BROKEN GLASS MANG, I COULD GET SOME AIDS OFF THAT SHIT) seperating me from the other guy while he escapes or just stands there rolling his eyes while I whine about being trapped in here all by myself in the dark. <img src="http://www.materialhandlingproducts.com/Images/wireshelving.gif"> <i>You shall not pass.</i> Condemned seems to delight in jerking me around. First I get a gun and lose it in a cutscene. Then I get a fire axe that can't cut through plywood, drywall or legs. Then I get a whole... hoodie, I guess, it's not like I'm carrying a kit or anything... full of forensic tools that I can only use when my CSI sense is tingling. Then the game shoves me into some abandoned warehouse or whatever and tells me not to come back without three pieces of metal and a dead bird. There's no way I'd stand for this shit if it wasn't coming from Jason Hall, the world's strongest man. <img src="http://pcmedia.gamespy.com/pc/image/article/540/540817/this-is-my-headline-love-me-20040820031308359.jpg"> <i>I don't see no dead bird, bitch.</i>[/quote]