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by Ray of Light 07/25/2004, 11:14pm PDT |
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So here's mine.
I find your position untenable, ridiculous on its face. That you answered my slam-dunk at all is a surprise, and I applaud your verve, but cannot on principle acknowledge it as anything more.
Do you fancy yourself so worldly, well-read, cosmopolitan that any lump of nonsense will flower a glistening truth beneath your touch? You oughtn't.
Zseni wrote:
Nobody I talked to said that jerky was unmacho. I'm more than willing to concede to the machismo of jerky if it makes everyone happy. But you will never, ever, ever get me to believe that purchasing jerky in groups with people from a message board to "save money" is anything but long-distance foreplay for latent homosexuals.
Fifteen words. Executive summary, Jerky, frugality: manly. The end. You've cast my argument in so many false lights -- from "Ray is manly" to "Ray has a big dick" -- by now that we've come to a comfortable rhythm, an adverb-rich coitus...
Zseni: Ray, you so foppish!
Donkey: Yeah!
Ray: [original point, proof thereof]
Donkey: Booooo!
Zseni: Your unmaniless! Why do you deny it?
Donkey: [shitting noisily] Eeehn-yah!
... in which I press forward whilst you construct falsehoods to mitigate your guilt over wanton intellectual sluttiness.
Your own constituents will tell you this debate is no good for you and will only break your heart, if you'd only listen.
"It's macho to make do with what you have."
...
"No, you make beef jerky youself on shelves next to the water heater." frugal (adj.) careful in the use of money or food.
Handlesmith Steve, epoxy master A lot of IT fellas age into some variant of Handlesmith Steve, and I know a few like him, perhaps better than you. The contents of his shop might be worth more than my house, BUT: (1) at least one tool is 50+ years old, and several are older than I am; (2) everything is in working order and organized; (3) he paid retail for less than one thing in four; (4) despite similar-looking implements, he can name a distinct purpose for each one and list scenarios where he would use it in preference to the others; and (5) admiring his stuff is not the way to make friends, because possessions aren't what he's most proud of. Although shrewd with money, any suggestion that he acts foolishly -- by cutting corners, say -- would be insulting.
Does that sound like a portrait of frugality to you? It should.
Power--over money, especially--is the essence of male sexiness. That you don't see (or imagine) the peacock balancing his chequebook is intentional. And irrelevant. And neccesary, and manly in the same way that shaving your armpits is feminine.
If you come back and tell me the whole United States Army buys jerky in ambient clouds of internet purchasers, I will come back and tell you that Sparta lives again in your hearts and cocks. It's said that the effectiveness of a fighting unit hinges on a platonic love among the soldiers. But how platonic is that so-called "platoon", really? And what about kissing with tongue? Are the men of our military an elite fighting force, or bacchanalian bum regarders? Watch Gay Yes Sir, on the next ZSENILINE!
Ray! |
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Machismo revisted. by Zseni 07/25/2004, 2:54am PDT 
Re: Machismo revisted. by E. L. Koba 07/25/2004, 4:39am PDT
Re: Machismo revisted. by Zseni 07/25/2004, 7:37am PDT
I've demanded nothing of you but your best by Ray of Light 07/25/2004, 11:14pm PDT
You're clearly wasting your time. by Zseni 07/26/2004, 4:32am PDT
You're a dumbhead because I say it is so! NT by *STAMPS FOOT* 07/26/2004, 9:24am PDT
Did you know there were ELEVEN battles of the Isonzo? by laudablepuss 07/27/2004, 3:34am PDT
Ray could make the Holocaust funny, and I might be behind it. Make this funnier. NT by Worm 07/25/2004, 5:53am PDT
By calling Hitler short or something? NT by I need clarification 07/25/2004, 10:13am PDT
If Ray said Hitler was short Zseni would mention Napoleon. NT by Worm 07/25/2004, 11:21am PDT
I guess that makes you right about Ray being hilarious, after all. :( NT by I need clarification 07/25/2004, 11:40am PDT
Me (talking to Spanish-born Taipei-based sword collector and Aikido expert by who has worked in a number of 07/25/2004, 11:49am PDT
May is skinny and bookish. Eyelass frames extremely delicate. Low tolerance for by mess of any kind. Her bedroom 07/25/2004, 12:11pm PDT
That was well written, missed it. Maybe I'll try to read that shitty Zseni NT by post again. 07/25/2004, 12:50pm PDT
Are you funny? NT by Ever? 07/25/2004, 8:53pm PDT
We know for certain that you in particular are never funny. NT by Edward Gibbons 07/25/2004, 8:55pm PDT
Ad Hominem NT by Zseni 07/25/2004, 9:21pm PDT
Yes, hadn't you noticed? NT by I need clarification 07/26/2004, 1:00am PDT
No, you aren't. NT by I don't need clarification 07/26/2004, 2:04pm PDT
Yeah! BDR's roomate tried to suck him awf! Har! NT by LOL 07/25/2004, 1:18pm PDT
Whoever's got gas, it's killing me!! NT by here all week 07/25/2004, 4:03pm PDT
Just so you (and your BIG HUNK OF MACHO MAN) know by whydirt 07/25/2004, 7:06am PDT
Re: Just so you (and your BIG HUNK OF MACHO MAN) know by Zseni 07/25/2004, 7:44am PDT
Re: Just so you (and your BIG HUNK OF MACHO MAN) know by whydirt 07/27/2004, 6:14pm PDT
WE DON'T ACCEPT RAGING BULLDYKES by LAW SCHOOL EVERYWHERE 07/27/2004, 6:18pm PDT
Not funny by You lose 07/25/2004, 7:37am PDT
Re: Not funny by Zseni 07/25/2004, 7:45am PDT
That would have been a good post only if everything you said wasn't wrong. :( NT by I need clarification 07/25/2004, 10:14am PDT
Jesus cracker christ, let it go. You already lost (badly) NT by You've lost this war, go home 07/25/2004, 11:59am PDT
Crackers!!! Delicious! NT by Manly Men Dining On The Cheap 07/25/2004, 12:08pm PDT
Perfect! All that it's missing is a character named Grover. NT by mrs. johnson 07/25/2004, 1:16pm PDT
Stop acting so catty. by Rex Reed 07/25/2004, 1:17pm PDT
You just figured out why it's so great, anonyfruit. NT by mrs. johnson 07/26/2004, 12:59am PDT
Being macho means not having to explain yourself. by conflictNo 07/25/2004, 2:29pm PDT
Yeah, Ray lost when he engaged the argument. Romero weighs in, too. by I need clarification 07/25/2004, 3:56pm PDT
wow by FABIO 07/25/2004, 8:07pm PDT
Re: Being macho means not having to explain yourself. by Zseni 07/25/2004, 3:59pm PDT
Re: Being macho means not having to explain yourself. by Entropy Stew 07/25/2004, 10:12pm PDT
Re: Being macho means not having to explain yourself. by Zseni 07/25/2004, 11:06pm PDT
Re: Being macho means not having to explain yourself. by Entropy Stew 07/26/2004, 2:15am PDT
Re: Being macho means not having to explain yourself. by Zseni 07/26/2004, 10:54am PDT
Re: Being macho means not having to explain yourself. by wherever 07/26/2004, 1:32pm PDT
Re: Being macho means not having to explain yourself. by I need clarification 07/26/2004, 4:44pm PDT
You're ten times the man that is really a woman who likes jerky by Zseni-lover 07/26/2004, 2:17pm PDT
This seems to be the standard answer to anyone who says Ray! isn't super-funny. by I need clarification 07/26/2004, 4:45pm PDT
I did not have sexual relations with Zseni's fat ass. NT by Clinton 07/26/2004, 6:02pm PDT
Re: Being macho means not having to explain yourself. by Pieter 07/27/2004, 12:26am PDT
Re: Being macho means not having to explain yourself. by Entropy Stew 07/27/2004, 3:33am PDT
Re: Being macho means not having to explain yourself. by Zseni 07/27/2004, 4:17am PDT
Re: Being macho means not having to explain yourself. by Entropy Stew 07/27/2004, 11:24am PDT
Re: Being macho means not having to explain yourself. by I need clarification 07/26/2004, 1:05am PDT
Re: Being macho means not having to explain yourself. by pieter 07/26/2004, 4:33am PDT
Who the fuck are you, again? NT by I need clarification 07/26/2004, 8:07am PDT
He's "pieter." Can't you read (his awesome sig)? NT by I need clarification 07/26/2004, 4:46pm PDT
You're boring, shut up. NT by Arbiter of Comedy 07/26/2004, 7:52am PDT
As surmised, INC sucks in blue, too. by Bill Dungsroman 07/26/2004, 10:47am PDT
Why don't you just write "neener neener neener!" by Edward Gibbons 07/26/2004, 11:19am PDT
Wow, that was lazy even for Gibbons NT by FABIO 07/26/2004, 1:45pm PDT
Didn't your male roommate suck your dick? by I need clarification 07/26/2004, 4:42pm PDT
You're fat by pieter 07/26/2004, 5:29pm PDT
INC: easier than v. by Bill Dungsroman 07/26/2004, 6:23pm PDT
Hey, I remember you - didn't you drop out of medical school or something? NT by I need clarification 07/26/2004, 7:40pm PDT
SO FUNNY NT by Pack of retards 07/26/2004, 8:20pm PDT
Donkeys are dumb :(. by Zseni's Ass 07/26/2004, 3:29pm PDT
What the fuck even IS all this? by K. Thor Jensen 07/26/2004, 4:29pm PDT
Re: What the fuck even IS all this? by Creexul :( 07/26/2004, 5:05pm PDT
vpocalypse is to Zseni-hating what 9/11 was to flag-buying NT by Ray of Light 07/26/2004, 7:59pm PDT
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