Caltrops - Rants





	[quote name="Ray of Light"]So here's mine. I find your position untenable, ridiculous on its face. That you answered my <a href="http://www.caltrops.com/pointy.php?action=viewPost&pid=189">slam-dunk</a> <i>at all</i> is a surprise, and I applaud your verve, but cannot on principle acknowledge it as anything more. Do you fancy yourself so worldly, well-read, <i>cosmopolitan</i> that any lump of nonsense will flower a glistening truth beneath your touch? You oughtn't. [quote name="Zseni"]Nobody I talked to said that jerky was unmacho. I'm more than willing to concede to the machismo of jerky if it makes everyone happy. But you will never, ever, ever get me to believe that purchasing jerky in groups with people from a message board to "save money" is anything but long-distance foreplay for latent homosexuals.[/quote] Fifteen words. Executive summary, <b>Jerky, frugality: manly. The end. </b> You've cast my argument in so many false lights -- from "Ray is manly" to "Ray has a big dick" -- by now that we've come to a comfortable rhythm, an adverb-rich coitus... <font color=lightskyblue>Zseni: Ray, you so foppish!</font> <font color=lightgray>Donkey: Yeah!</font> <font color=pink>Ray: [original point, proof thereof]</font> <font color=lightgray>Donkey: Booooo!</font> <font color=lightskyblue>Zseni: Your unmaniless! Why do you deny it?</font> <font color=lightgray>Donkey: [<i>shitting noisily</i>] Eeehn-yah! </font> ... in which I press forward whilst you construct falsehoods to mitigate your guilt over wanton intellectual sluttiness. Your own constituents will tell you this debate is no good for you and will only break your heart, <i>if you'd only listen</i>. [quote]"It's macho to make do with what you have." ... "No, you make beef jerky youself on shelves next to the water heater." [/quote]frugal (adj.) careful in the use of money or food. [quote]Handlesmith Steve, epoxy master[/quote]A lot of IT fellas age into some variant of Handlesmith Steve, and I know a few like him, perhaps better than you. The contents of his shop might be worth more than my house, BUT: (1) at least one tool is 50+ years old, and several are older than I am; (2) everything is in working order and organized; (3) he paid retail for less than one thing in four; (4) despite similar-looking implements, he can name a distinct purpose for each one and list scenarios where he would use it in preference to the others; and (5) admiring his stuff is not the way to make friends, because possessions aren't what he's most proud of. Although shrewd with money, any suggestion that he acts foolishly -- by cutting corners, say -- would be insulting. Does that sound like a portrait of frugality to you? It should. Power--over money, especially--is the essence of male sexiness. That you don't see (or imagine) the peacock balancing his chequebook is intentional. And irrelevant. And neccesary, and manly in the same way that shaving your armpits is feminine. [quote]If you come back and tell me the whole United States Army buys jerky in ambient clouds of internet purchasers, I will come back and tell you that Sparta lives again in your hearts and cocks.[/quote]It's said that the effectiveness of a fighting unit hinges on a platonic love among the soldiers. But how platonic <i>is</i> that so-called "platoon", <i>really</i>? And what about kissing with tongue? Are the men of our military an elite fighting force, or bacchanalian bum regarders? Watch <b>Gay Yes Sir</b>, on the next ZSENILINE! Ray![/quote]