Caltrops - A Mind Forever Voyaging

Forum Overview :: A Mind Forever Voyaging

by Mysterio 11/02/2004, 4:05pm PST

Bill Dungsroman wrote:

And your tale about beating off in your step-dad's shampoo bottle doesn't impress me, neither does any of the rest - well, except the yoga one. That one's awesome.

The yoga wank was one of my YMCA wanks that I feel pretty bad about. I was gonna do a big spiel on them but they got me down. Our shitty brick building overlooked a glass aerobics hall. I don't know if it was just because I was just more conscious of it because of my own insecurities, but when the classes started, there seemed to be a suspicious number of our curtains drawn for 3 in the afternoon.
I punched a hole in a ringbinder and used it as a balaclava so the girls couldn't see my face. Aerobics was tricky because the taller girls' tits would be obscured by a wooden cross bar when they jumped up and down. Yoga was a breeze.
I was always scared shitless. I remember feelign guilty as hell about the hole in my ringbinder. As if a hole in a ring binder was as incriminating as a B&W striped suit and a crowbar. I was scared a policeman would stop me on the street and ask me if I stare at girls through that hole and he'd see through my lies. I'd only keep my easiest subjects in it to stop any bad karma associated with it from fucking with me.

Bill Dungsroman wrote:

You misunderstand. I hate having to beat off, but additionally I hate doing it a lot, if at all.

That's a dumb way to think. Up until recently, if I had to wank, I'd always wank twice. I never thought of 2 wanks as doubling my sin. Is someone who murders 2 people twice as bad as someone who murders 1? No. He's a bit badder, granted, but I think with sin there's very low marginal rate of badness. That is, extra sin of the same type doesn't make you a significantly worse person. Take advantage of the decreasing returns to scale. If I had to put a figure on it, I'd say jerking off twice is 10% worse in the eyes of other people than jerking off once, so you're almost getting the second wank for free! If you're a religious person, one prayer asking for God's forgiveness will get you off 2 wanks as easy as it will get you off one.
The bottom line is a batch wanker is a more efficient wanker.