|
by Zsenicorpse 06/25/2006, 12:03pm PDT |
|
 |
|
 |
|
[21:18] Ray Comma Light: I have a brilliant and beautiful idea, which I will relate to you later
[23:20] Zsenijeim: No rush.
He heard:
I have a brilliant and beautiful idea, which I will relate to you later.
...hmmm.... how intriguing...shouldn't look too eager tho...
|
She heard:
I have... precious things for sale... even a Captain like yourself will want them....
(to himself) What a putz.
|
[23:25] Ray Comma Light: No, there isn't. Say, would you be willing to dispel the rumors that this isn't you?
[23:32] Ray Comma Light: I don't want to ruin anyone's fun, so if you refuse, I'll still play along, but I won't be able to reveal my secret idea (which, I promise, does not involve your vagina)
[23:39] Ray Comma Light: :( OK, while you ponder the strategic implications or whatever of this simple request, I'll go to the 7-11.
He heard:
What fun we shall have, my little one...Only ask me, give me your hand, let me be your plaything...
(bites her lips nervously, sensually, keeping her silence only with tremendous, coy, and completely feminine effort)
|
She heard:
If you lower your shields, I can show you the precious things... important to the Federation. But I won't sit and wait forever, Captain...ssssss...!
(to Riker)What do you think about this, Number One?
[23:34] Zsenijeim: So Fussbett!
[23:34] Zsenijeim: Ray of Light wants to talk to me about something, but he precedes it with an enormous amount of ceremony!
[23:35] Zsenijeim: I guess I wonder, since you guys are such close buddies, if he doesn't already know that I despise him more than anyone else in the history of Caltrops, including BDR?
[23:35] Zsenijeim: The thing is, he's not helping out his case with first-rate pick up lines like "[23:32] Ray Comma Light: I don't want to ruin anyone's fun, so if you refuse, I'll still play along, but I won't be able to reveal my secret idea (which, I promise, does not involve your vagina)"
[23:36] Zsenijeim: My question for you is: is his super awesome idea super awesome enough to outweight what a titanic dumbfuck he is?
[23:37] Zsenijeim: -t
[00:37] Zsenijeim: You're a lousy advisor! You fat fuck!
Says nothing, but smirks infuriatingly.
|
[01:02] Ray Comma Light: Back now. In nice weather like this, the false prostitutes are out. I often wonder who is fooled by them, because it's obvious to even a non-payer-for-sex like myself that they are not the real deal.
[01:13] Ray Comma Light: this conversation is blowing my mind
[01:14] Zsenijeim: You're an idiot and your mind is easily blown.
He heard:
I have stories for you, my cherry. Toys and games. Don't you want to play? Aren't you a little... titillated?
(her voice laden with pure female irrationality) I... I hate you!
|
She heard:
Even Captains have a penis, Captain Picard. Do you not wish to open negotiations?
What the fuck? Is this some kind of joke?
|
[01:16] Ray Comma Light: Only one of those things is an insult. Seriously, do you have to seethe so much
[01:17] Zsenijeim: Your retarded come-ons and monstrously - insupportably - patronizing attitude is all the guarantee I need that you have nothing worthwhile to discuss.
[01:18] Ray Comma Light: The Zseni I know would say "are"
[01:19] Zsenijeim: Whoops! You caught me! I'm not Zseni. Clearly the conversation is over.
He heard:
You fight so hard - you flush, my jewel. A bead of sweat mars your perfect brow. But how can you fight against that which you most deeply desire? How can you fight against...yourself?
Nnnnnngh!... (she stamps her dainty foot in a petulant, but futile, gesture. Already he has won her over completely.
|
She heard:
No joke, Captain. Or maybe you do not trust a that I will have... a bargain? For you, oh mighty Captain? He slavers uncomfortably.
(Contemptuous snort.) I trust that you will fuck right on off out of Federation space posthaste, Ferengi vessel.
|
[01:38] Ray Comma Light: Good. That means we can start a new one.
[01:53] Ray Comma Light: You seem torn between thinking that I'm patronizing you and thinking that I'm trying to sleep with you. That's a mistake. In truth, I'd like to speak with you because I like reading what you have to say. If I've avoided being nice to you, it's only because we're both more entertaining when angry.
[01:54] Zsenijeim: I think you have a revolting personality and have for many years. I asked Fussbett if you had a proposal worth overcoming my personal, and enormous, dislike of you.
[01:54] Zsenijeim: He declined to answer.
He heard:
There's no need to struggle any further. I only want what you want, and do only what I know you'll enjoy. I foresee your every need - in truth, you have nothing to complain about. Why won't you come to me?
You... have no... power.. over... (plainly her heart is not in it.)
|
She heard:
Wait! I have priceless information! I only brought up your penis because... my first mate ordered me to! Can we make a deal?!
I think you have a revolting personality and have for many years. I asked Number One if you had a proposal worth overcoming my personal, and enormous, dislike of you. But we both already knew the answer: no, you do not have any such proposal. You will find the Federation space boundary closest at heading 312 and if you step on the gas, you can be in the neutral zone by the time I have my photon torpedoes powered up.
|
[01:55] Ray Comma Light: he had no knowledge one way or the other. I only involved him because he knows everything
[01:55] Ray Comma Light: \
[01:55] Ray Comma Light: disregard backslash
[01:57] Ray Comma Light: anyway, I'm awestruck. I wasn't aware there was so much to dislike.
[02:01] Ray Comma Light: I'm a dog whisperer, did you know that
[02:03] Ray Comma Light: Dogs are drawn to me, for reasons I don't completely understand. It's not because I often smell like meat; I've controlled for that variable.
[02:04] Ray Comma Light: So, maybe you have the opposite of whatever sensibility it is that engenders that behaviour.
He heard:
I like puppies, Sarah. Do you like puppies? Yet what could be less like a puppy than you, beautiful, a woman in all ways?
(She stumbles against him, clinging to his arms for support, her enormous liquid eyes upturned in soft complaint. To herself, she thinks, though slowly as if in a dream, "I do like puppies...")
|
She heard:
(Holding up a puppy - a golden retriever puppy. It kicks miserably.) But how can you refuse a deal where a puppy's life is at stake, Captain? Is that what you really want? Is the Federation's pride worth that much? I smell like meat!
Meat, I see. sotto voce, to Worf: Arm the photon torpedoes. He's gone mad, whoever he is.
|
[02:05] Ray Comma Light: Or, maybe you see in me things you dislike about yourself. I know that that was my initial reaction to YOU.
[02:10] Ray Comma Light: regardless, I don't have my hat in hand here. I came to propose a chance at mutual gain; if you'd prefer to fold your arms and say harrrrumph, I'm in no position to stop you. I'll approach again four months from now, just before Halloween.
He heard:
I see within your heart and mind, Sarah. You have no secrets from me. Nor do you need any. I will let you have your "victory" for now, but I will return again when the clock strikes thirteen... do not forget. (Slowly, infinitely slowly, he fades from view.)
(Overwhelmed with sensual possibility, she drifts to her bed and pours herself over the blankets and pillows, contemplating, with a deep and satisfying unhappiness, about the sundering up of all childhood things.) |
She heard:
Enterprise, you are arming! Your torpedoes! Retreat! (The visual signal is terminated as the Ferengi ship scuttles off into the inky darkness of infinite space.)
(He sighs and strides to the turbolift door.) Fucking faggot. Uhh... no offense intended, Riker.
|
|
|
 |
|
 |
|
|
|
Blah by Zsenicorpse 06/25/2006, 12:03pm PDT 
Re: Blah by Ray of Light 06/25/2006, 12:52pm PDT
Re: Blah by Zsenicorpse 06/25/2006, 2:42pm PDT
My first AIM block. by Zsenicorpse 06/25/2006, 4:17pm PDT
Hey, come back here! You have aimbligations to fulfil! by Ray of Light 06/25/2006, 5:20pm PDT
Watch out Zseni! He wants to pound your pussy into a bag of raw meat by sassy 06/25/2006, 5:27pm PDT
RESULTS by Ray of Light 06/27/2006, 2:59pm PDT
Haha you blocked all of AIM like a year ago, you dizzy bitch. by I need clarification 06/25/2006, 8:22pm PDT
"How dare you show your face around here after what you did to me?!" NT by Zsenicorpse 06/25/2006, 8:32pm PDT
The only man on the planet who could put up with you split. Forever. by I need clarification 06/25/2006, 9:02pm PDT
Whoa, who was he? by Zsenicorpse 06/25/2006, 9:30pm PDT
Rhymes with "Needy, Are" NT by Quentin Beck 06/25/2006, 9:51pm PDT
Just another guy who realized fat chicks are for talking to (on the internet) NT by I need clarification 06/26/2006, 2:12am PDT
My imaginary internet friend? Is that like your imaginary wife? by Zsenicorpse 06/26/2006, 2:18am PDT
Finally! A week later. Anyway, you suck, your boyfriend left you. by I need clarification 06/26/2006, 3:08am PDT
? He's sitting right behind me posting pics of a hot new copper-sheathed wak. by Zsenicorpse 06/26/2006, 3:20am PDT
Crack on his gook wife. It riles him deservedly. You CANNOT let that shit slide. NT by Quentin Beck 06/26/2006, 3:49am PDT
The marquee... is real stained glass! by Ray of Light 06/26/2006, 10:11am PDT
Re: The marquee... is real stained glass! by sassy 06/26/2006, 10:44am PDT
please explain why that's sad NT by Hoi Ploy 06/26/2006, 1:07pm PDT
I WANT MY MONAY, BABY NT by Sassy 06/27/2006, 12:01am PDT
I'll pay you in affection, interest NT by Ray of Light 06/27/2006, 3:25pm PDT
Re: ? He's sitting right behind me posting pics of a hot new copper-sheathed wak by sassy 06/26/2006, 10:40am PDT
You're right, I should just shut up and not respond to anything. by Zsenicorpse 06/26/2006, 12:14pm PDT
I didn't tell you what to do, one way or the other. by sassy 06/26/2006, 12:31pm PDT
Good, because a lecture from you on restraint would be ridiculous. NT by Zsenicorpse 06/26/2006, 2:53pm PDT
Re: ? He's sitting right behind me posting pics of a hot new copper-sheathed wak by I need clarification 06/26/2006, 6:27pm PDT
BDR NT by Entropy Stew 06/26/2006, 7:11am PDT
Seem to have blocked me too. =( by Chairman Mao 06/26/2006, 11:18am PDT
And me. NT by Creexul :( 06/27/2006, 12:57am PDT
Re: Blah by Choson 06/25/2006, 12:57pm PDT
The images seemed like overcompensation. She's dressing up weak material. NT by Fullofkittens 06/25/2006, 3:04pm PDT
Au contraire, the images are what makes it. by Choson 06/25/2006, 3:22pm PDT
Yes, the images makes it NT by Ray of Light 06/25/2006, 5:41pm PDT
This is good practice for that Home Depot career she's got all picked out. NT by I need clarification 06/25/2006, 1:00pm PDT
I don't need to practice for that! NT by Zsenicorpse 06/25/2006, 1:17pm PDT
Yes you do. NT by I need clarification 06/25/2006, 8:19pm PDT
Me by Fussbett 06/25/2006, 3:11pm PDT
Zseni has to stand for something or she'll fall for anything. ;-; NT by Creexul :( 06/25/2006, 6:18pm PDT
Ray's sick of fucking women, he wants to move on to bigger game NT by Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom 06/25/2006, 8:22pm PDT
Stick it to them. The pic's struck a chord with me. I'm loving it. NT by Souffle of Pain 06/25/2006, 11:41pm PDT
No. We like Zseni. Do try to keep up. NT by Souffle of Pain 06/26/2006, 12:19am PDT
She's knee deep in this shit and we're behind her all the way.Full credit to her NT by Souffle of Pain 06/26/2006, 1:19am PDT
Slog it out, gorgeous. Ray's never had it so rough. NT by Souffle of Pain 06/26/2006, 1:19am PDT
Yay, Star Trek! by laudablepuss 06/26/2006, 4:37pm PDT
Potentially embarassing question for the female poster. by Jerry Whorebach 06/26/2006, 9:57pm PDT
Re: Potentially embarassing question for the female poster. by sassy 06/26/2006, 11:55pm PDT
Will someone politely remind this piece of shit that I'm sexually active. NT by Quentin Beck 06/27/2006, 12:06am PDT
Roseanne, Pearl Foresster, Zseni by Johnny Carson 06/26/2006, 11:08pm PDT
|
|
