Caltrops - Big Brain Academy





	[quote name="Zsenicorpse"]<hr></hr>[21:18] Ray Comma Light: I have a brilliant and beautiful idea, which I will relate to you later [23:20] Zsenijeim: No rush. <hr></hr> <table align="center" width ="90%"><tr><td align="center" valign="top" width="45%"> <h2><font color="white">He heard:</font></h2> <img src="http://www.kirinrin.com/images/jareth.png"> <font color="purple"><b>I have a brilliant and beautiful idea, which I will relate to you later. </b></font> <img src="http://www.kirinrin.com/images/sarah.png"> <font color="pink"><b>...hmmm.... how intriguing...shouldn't look too eager tho... </b></font></td> <td align="center" valign="top" width="45%"> <h2><font color="white">She heard:</font></h2> <img src="http://www.kirinrin.com/images/ferengi.png"> <font color="yellow">I have... <b>precious things</b> for sale... even a Captain like yourself will want them.... </font> <img src="http://www.kirinrin.com/images/picard.png"> <font color="white"><i>(to himself)</i> What a putz. </font></td></tr></table> <hr></hr>[23:25] Ray Comma Light: No, there isn't. Say, would you be willing to dispel the rumors that this isn't you? [23:32] Ray Comma Light: I don't want to ruin anyone's fun, so if you refuse, I'll still play along, but I won't be able to reveal my secret idea (which, I promise, does not involve your vagina) [23:39] Ray Comma Light: :( OK, while you ponder the strategic implications or whatever of this simple request, I'll go to the 7-11. <hr></hr> <table align="center" width ="90%"><tr><td align="center" valign="top" width="45%"> <h2><font color="white">He heard:</font></h2> <img src="http://www.kirinrin.com/images/jareth.png"> <font color="purple"><b>What fun we shall have, my little one...Only ask me, give me your hand, let me be your plaything... </b></font> <img src="http://www.kirinrin.com/images/sarah.png"> <font color="pink"><i>(bites her lips nervously, sensually, keeping her silence only with tremendous, coy, and completely feminine effort) </i></font></td> <td align="center" valign="top" width="45%"> <h2><font color="white">She heard:</font></h2> <img src="http://www.kirinrin.com/images/ferengi.png"> <font color="yellow">If you lower your shields, I can show you the <b>precious things</b>... important to the Federation. But I won't sit and wait forever, Captain...ssssss...! </font> <img src="http://www.kirinrin.com/images/picard.png"> <font color="white"><i>(to Riker)</i>What do you think about this, Number One?</font> <font align="left" color="white" size="2">[23:34] Zsenijeim: So Fussbett! [23:34] Zsenijeim: Ray of Light wants to talk to me about something, but he precedes it with an enormous amount of ceremony! [23:35] Zsenijeim: I guess I wonder, since you guys are such close buddies, if he doesn't already know that I despise him more than anyone else in the history of Caltrops, including BDR? [23:35] Zsenijeim: The thing is, he's not helping out his case with first-rate pick up lines like "[23:32] Ray Comma Light: I don't want to ruin anyone's fun, so if you refuse, I'll still play along, but I won't be able to reveal my secret idea (which, I promise, does not involve your vagina)" [23:36] Zsenijeim: My question for you is: is his super awesome idea super awesome enough to outweight what a titanic dumbfuck he is? [23:37] Zsenijeim: -t <b>[00:37]</b> Zsenijeim: You're a lousy advisor! You fat fuck!</font> <img src="http://www.kirinrin.com/images/riker.png"> <font color="green"><i>Says nothing, but smirks infuriatingly.</i> </font></td></tr></table> <hr></hr> [01:02] Ray Comma Light: Back now. In nice weather like this, the false prostitutes are out. I often wonder who is fooled by them, because it's obvious to even a non-payer-for-sex like myself that they are not the real deal. [01:13] Ray Comma Light: this conversation is blowing my mind [01:14] Zsenijeim: You're an idiot and your mind is easily blown. <hr></hr> <table align="center" width ="90%"><tr><td align="center" valign="top" width="45%"> <h2><font color="white">He heard:</font></h2> <img src="http://www.kirinrin.com/images/jareth.png"> <font color="purple"><b>I have stories for you, my cherry. Toys and games. Don't you want to play? Aren't you a little... <i>titillated</i>? </b></font> <img src="http://www.kirinrin.com/images/sarah.png"> <font color="pink"><i>(her voice laden with pure female irrationality)</i> <b>I... I hate you! </b></font></td> <td align="center" valign="top" width="45%"> <h2><font color="white">She heard:</font></h2> <img src="http://www.kirinrin.com/images/ferengi.png"> <font color="yellow">Even Captains have a <i>penis</i>, Captain Picard. Do you not wish to open <i>negotiations?</i> </font> <img src="http://www.kirinrin.com/images/picard.png"> <font color="white">What the fuck? Is this some kind of joke? </font></td></tr></table> <hr></hr> [01:16] Ray Comma Light: Only one of those things is an insult. Seriously, do you have to seethe so much [01:17] Zsenijeim: Your retarded come-ons and monstrously - insupportably - patronizing attitude is all the guarantee I need that you have nothing worthwhile to discuss. [01:18] Ray Comma Light: The Zseni I know would say "are" [01:19] Zsenijeim: Whoops! You caught me! I'm not Zseni. Clearly the conversation is over. <hr></hr> <table align="center" width ="90%"><tr><td align="center" valign="top" width="45%"> <h2><font color="white">He heard:</font></h2> <img src="http://www.kirinrin.com/images/jareth.png"> <font color="purple"><b>You fight so hard - you flush, my jewel. A bead of sweat mars your perfect brow. But how can you fight against that which you most deeply desire? How can you fight against...<i>yourself</i>? </b></font> <img src="http://www.kirinrin.com/images/sarah.png"> <font color="pink"><b>Nnnnnngh!...</b> <i>(she stamps her dainty foot in a petulant, but futile, gesture. Already he has won her over completely.</i> </font></td> <td align="center" valign="top" width="45%"> <h2><font color="white">She heard:</font></h2> <img src="http://www.kirinrin.com/images/ferengi.png"> <font color="yellow">No joke, Captain. Or maybe you do not trust a that I will have... a <i>bargain?</i> For you, oh mighty Captain? <i>He slavers uncomfortably.</i> </font> <img src="http://www.kirinrin.com/images/picard.png"> <font color="white"><i>(Contemptuous snort.)</i> I trust that you will fuck right on off out of Federation space posthaste, Ferengi vessel. </font></td></tr></table> <hr></hr> [01:38] Ray Comma Light: Good. That means we can start a new one. [01:53] Ray Comma Light: You seem torn between thinking that I'm patronizing you and thinking that I'm trying to sleep with you. That's a mistake. In truth, I'd like to speak with you because I like reading what you have to say. If I've avoided being nice to you, it's only because we're both more entertaining when angry. [01:54] Zsenijeim: I think you have a revolting personality and have for many years. I asked Fussbett if you had a proposal worth overcoming my personal, and enormous, dislike of you. [01:54] Zsenijeim: He declined to answer.<hr></hr> <table align="center" width ="90%"><tr><td align="center" valign="top" width="45%"> <h2><font color="white">He heard:</font></h2> <img src="http://www.kirinrin.com/images/jareth.png"> <font color="purple"><b>There's no need to struggle any further. I only want what you want, and do only what I know you'll enjoy. I foresee your every need - in truth, you have nothing to complain about. Why won't you come to me? </b></font> <img src="http://www.kirinrin.com/images/sarah.png"> <font color="pink"><b>You... have no... power.. over...</b> <i>(plainly her heart is not in it.)</i> </font></td> <td align="center" valign="top" width="45%"> <h2><font color="white">She heard:</font></h2> <img src="http://www.kirinrin.com/images/ferengi.png"> <font color="yellow">Wait! I have priceless information! I only brought up your penis because... my first mate ordered me to! Can we make a deal?! </font> <img src="http://www.kirinrin.com/images/picard.png"> <font color="white"> I think you have a revolting personality and have for many years. I asked Number One if you had a proposal worth overcoming my personal, and enormous, dislike of you. But we both already knew the answer: no, you do not have any such proposal. You will find the Federation space boundary closest at heading 312 and if you step on the gas, you can be in the neutral zone by the time I have my photon torpedoes powered up. </font></td></tr></table> <hr></hr> [01:55] Ray Comma Light: he had no knowledge one way or the other. I only involved him because he knows everything [01:55] Ray Comma Light: \ [01:55] Ray Comma Light: disregard backslash [01:57] Ray Comma Light: anyway, I'm awestruck. I wasn't aware there was so much to dislike. [02:01] Ray Comma Light: I'm a dog whisperer, did you know that [02:03] Ray Comma Light: Dogs are drawn to me, for reasons I don't completely understand. It's not because I often smell like meat; I've controlled for that variable. [02:04] Ray Comma Light: So, maybe you have the opposite of whatever sensibility it is that engenders that behaviour. <hr></hr> <table align="center" width ="90%"><tr><td align="center" valign="top" width="45%"> <h2><font color="white">He heard:</font></h2> <img src="http://www.kirinrin.com/images/jareth.png"> <font color="purple"><b>I like puppies, Sarah. Do you like puppies? Yet what could be less like a puppy than you, beautiful, a <i>woman</i> in all ways? </b></font> <img src="http://www.kirinrin.com/images/sarah.png"> <font color="pink"><i>(She stumbles against him, clinging to his arms for support, her enormous liquid eyes upturned in soft complaint. To herself, she thinks, though slowly as if in a dream, "I <u>do</u> like puppies...")</i> </font></td> <td align="center" valign="top" width="45%"> <h2><font color="white">She heard:</font></h2> <img src="http://www.kirinrin.com/images/ferengi.png"> <font color="yellow"><i>(Holding up a puppy - a golden retriever puppy. It kicks miserably.)</i> But how can you refuse a deal where a puppy's <i>life</i> is at stake, Captain? Is that what you really want? Is the Federation's pride worth <i>that much?</i> I smell like meat! </font> <img src="http://www.kirinrin.com/images/picard.png"> <font color="white">Meat, I see. <i>sotto voce, to Worf:</i> Arm the photon torpedoes. He's gone mad, whoever he is. </font></td></tr></table> <hr></hr> [02:05] Ray Comma Light: Or, maybe you see in me things you dislike about yourself. I know that that was my initial reaction to YOU. [02:10] Ray Comma Light: regardless, I don't have my hat in hand here. I came to propose a chance at mutual gain; if you'd prefer to fold your arms and say harrrrumph, I'm in no position to stop you. I'll approach again four months from now, just before Halloween. <hr></hr> <table align="center" width ="90%"><tr><td align="center" valign="top" width="45%"> <h2><font color="white">He heard:</font></h2> <img src="http://www.kirinrin.com/images/jareth.png"> <font color="purple"><b>I see within your heart and mind, Sarah. You have no secrets from me. Nor do you need any. I will let you have your "victory" for now, but I will return again when the clock strikes thirteen... do not forget. </b><i>(Slowly, infinitely slowly, he fades from view.)</i></font> <img src="http://www.kirinrin.com/images/sarah.png"> <font color="pink"><i>(Overwhelmed with sensual possibility, she drifts to her bed and pours herself over the blankets and pillows, contemplating, with a deep and satisfying unhappiness, about the sundering up of all childhood things.)</i></font></td> <td align="center" valign="top" width="45%"> <h2><font color="white">She heard:</font></h2> <img src="http://www.kirinrin.com/images/ferengi.png"> <font color="yellow">Enterprise, you are arming! Your torpedoes! Retreat! <i>(The visual signal is terminated as the Ferengi ship scuttles off into the inky darkness of infinite space.)</i> </font> <img src="http://www.kirinrin.com/images/picard.png"> <font color="white"><i>(He sighs and strides to the turbolift door.)</i> Fucking faggot. Uhh... no offense intended, Riker. </font></td></tr></table>[/quote]