Caltrops - Cabaret Voltron

Forum Overview :: Cabaret Voltron

by Senor Barborito 08/17/2003, 3:24am PDT

Essen Sie ScheiÃŸe wrote:

Senor Barborito wrote:

....to chatting up everyone at one of my family's reunions.

Not only do you pick a social environment, but the ass end of the social dictum, a forced gathering. I'm sure the rest of the family loves having the token non compos mentis at gatherings 'chatting everyone up.' I can see the cringes, the angry glares from one relative to the poor victim stupid enough to have hazarded the eye contact with the 'odd' cousin, forced by rigid social graces to suffer through yet another coversation.

Real Example: "HEARD OF DESCARTES! HE'S GOING TO SAVE HUMANITY WITH SOCIALIST LOVE!!! DON'T TOUCH THE CHEESE! IT IS A GOVERNMENT PLANT. AYIEEE! I'VE GOT A WEBSITE. NO WAREZ! NONE!!! DO YOU DENY MY FRESHMAKER!? HUHRHLURGLE..." This followed by an exposing of genetalia to prove it does have the extra 'ram' upgrade and setting fire to the buffet table giving everyone the evil eye.

You're the story relatives use to scare and chastise the children, 'Billy, brush your teeth or you'll grow up to be cRaZy like your cousin SB!', The bogeyman beneath their bed and every a family reunion you grace them with nutty repartee to offer up yet more fodder to maintain the mythos. You see those 'dendrites' of yours are so strong they're now processing your level of crazy with the superhuman power four lunatics instead of merely one.

No, I don't mention anything intellectual when I go to family reunions unless it's requested of me. That's what 'chat up' means, you dumbass. I know how to make small talk and I do it when appropriate - I just hate it and everyone who would ever prefer it to the kind of stuff I post in here. Caltrops.com posts are written by me, for me, to me - they are my thoughts. The rest of you are just extra voices in my head - a slight broadening of an already captive audience. Ask the people in GA if I'm relatively normal in real life. The one thing I heard from everyone who met me was 'Barbie you were surprisingly normal.' Yeah, I am almost mostly normal to people who meet me in real life, maybe even (more recently) a bit laidback, but what's going on inside my head isn't ultra-normal, and my online personality is a reflection of my thoughts, not the manufactured personality I don for social gatherings (which usually requires a lot of preparation hence my distate for leaving the apartment).

Secondly, my extended family really isn't like that. They are, to the last man on both sides of the family, lovey-dovey Christians who don't know the meaning of the word 'dislike' except in relation to 'Satan.' My immediate family, yeah - they had to put up with me untreated for years and screw the bastards they HAVE to love me so they'll hear what I'm thinking. But I've always more or less behaved around my extended family (both in terms of no CRAZY and in terms of not forcing intellectual BS down their throats unasked for) so the love there is pretty mutual and real. Also the respect - there's a double-FUCKLOAD of doctors/extremely skilled programmers/other intelligent people of various description in that extended family, and they do ask my opinions on certain technical and philosophical topics, just as I ask for theirs because what they say to me is actually worth bothering to hear.

If there is any judgement from my family, it's about one thing and one thing only: my living with veronica unmarried causes them no end of upset. V and I generally despise ceremony, however, and our attitude towards a wedding is generally "sounds like a great idea, as long as we don't have to be bothered showing up." She and I are committed to each other and generally think that should be enough, but we did get engaged largely to at least pacify both our families somewhat. I'm seriously considering whether it wouldn't be best to ask our mothers to just throw us a surprise wedding . . . whenever. That's how uninvolved we'd like to be.

Finished judging me yet?
--SB