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| Another fun fact about Umberto (who fucked Veronica) by I need clarification 09/21/2004, 10:56pm PDT | ||||
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| So anyway, I hear he was a member of the Capitol Steps, which for those of you who haven't experienced that particular circle of hell is one of the worst musical "comedy" revues ever inflicted on an audience, anywhere.
My mom dragged a few of us to one of their shows a few years ago, an excruciating experience I wouldn't wish on anyone except, ironically, Veronica. I guess the gimmick here is that all the participants are former congressional staffers who all happen to have in common a total lack of writing and performing talent whatsoever. They specialize in the sort of bland and humorless banter and song parodies that have made Mark Russell a household name in zero households. For your $30 or whatever, you get a rancid meal consisting of wilted lettuce salad and some gummy chicken slathered in sauce. I think they also will grudgingly give you water if you ask ten or twenty times. After that, the fun begins. Out trot the former staffers, chipper smiles plastered on their faces while they sing "Fakey Purple Heart" to the tune of "Achy Breaky Heart." I'm not even making that up. Unlike the Capitol Steps, I would never make that up. The whole production feels like what we at USC called "Song Night," where a bunch of fraternity boys would drunkenly get onstage in dresses and stagger their way through "My Girl," or whatever. The only way I could make it through the entire performance was to imagine the hilarious Simpsons (circa Season 4) episode that would have been the result of the writers sitting through this monstrosity. The only other thing that made it bearable was that a few of the performers saw me scowling at them and became transfixed. I would have normally felt badly for them, but they deserved at least a small amount of the pain they'd put me through. Anyway, Umberto has managed to embarass himself, in retrospect, even more than with the revelation he fucked a chick who eventually went on to MARRY the worst human on the planet. |
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