Caltrops - System Shlock 2 - Re: Helpful Writing Hint

Forum Overview :: System Shlock 2

by Bill Dungsroman 07/01/2003, 5:26pm PDT

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:

This is what bugs me about the whole "it's four years old" angle:

SS2 is still out there in bargain bins, and on-line stores and on eBay and so forth. The thing also got nothing but positive reviews. For those of us who value our time more than the $10 it costs to pick the thing up, it looks like a great deal: a seemingly solid game that was done-in by its marketing and promotion. There have been plenty of similar gems that we've all found out there.

But this isn't the case for SS2. It's a pile of shit with a flawed premise in both story (the marine that can't fire a pistol) and execution that requires cheat codes to eliminate spawning and weapon degredation, and still isn't all that fun once you've done that. The two cool parts that are left are co-op (which shouldn't even BE noteworthy, it's just that every other developer ignores it) and the ghosts wandering about the ship, and those are both let-downs as well. I could maybe understand the "too old" argument if there was one fucking person out there besides Fabio who decided to give SS2 the panning it deserved, but there's not. I mean, what's this "go back to IGN and PC Gamer" shit from that other guy? PC Gamer gave this thing a 95%. They essentially ranked it right next to Civ II for Christ's sake.

Fabio wanted to like SS2 when he sat down to play it. I feel safe in saying that this is the case for everyone here -- BDR didn't pick up that LOTR game because he's a sadist, Fussbett notes that he was already playing and enjoying a decent console volleyball game when he picked up DOAXBV, etc. The difference between Fabio and everyone who slurped up everything in System Shock II and went to bed with the disc next to their pillow is that regardless of how pumped he was when he ripped open the box, Fabio didn't let SS2's legacy and his own expectations cloud the fact that the thing, when it came right down to it, fucking sucked.

That's a decision that nobody else who reviewed it could make and that's what makes this -- ALL of this -- worthwhile.

the dark and gritty...Ice Cream Jonsey!

WERD. Random Bush Song Title there calls FABs out on the mat and accuses him of carrying an irrational grudge. Hardly irrational, that's what happens when you read about a game and get a big fucking hard-on for it, go buy it, and then detumesce slowly, painfully, inexorably as the game sucks and sucks and never stops. I won't write a review for a game I haven't finished which is why it takes me so long to write one, and it's why I haven't written one for Arcanum. Arcanum did to me what SS2 did to FABIO, and it's the worstest, gayest part of gaming. It's what reviews are for. Guess what: I bought SS2 because every faggot and their teddy bear said it was ORSUM. So I asked FABIO. He begged me not to play it. I did. It sucked. I diddled with gun wear and respawn. It still sucked, a bit less, but I'm still doing the one step forward, three steps back elevator quest for the first fucking half of the game. No code diddling will fix a fucking Gabriel Knight 3-esque bullshit plot gaffe like that one. Why do you think Creexul carries on his own personal blood war against anime? Once upon a time, he loved it. Actually, he still does, but most of anime is horrible and stupid and gay and it makes him feel dirty for liking any of it at all. Computer gaming is immature and fruity and rife with dudes like the ones SB held back his lunch against at that LAN party. It's too much to ask that most games not suck, we know, but how about we stop fucking pretending that they don't suck when they do, and not be such cuntheaded screeching jizzmouths when someone actually points out the Emporer Has No Code?

BDR