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| Yeah, good points. by Zseni 02/24/2003, 5:02pm PST | ||||
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up with pod people wrote: Yes, and yes. I'll stuff both of those into the edited draft. 2. This is more a content comment than anything grammatical, but I'm curious: don't you think your "bewildered" and vaguely submissive OT entrance was necessary to start? Forgetting to prompt your text with "Seifer:" and being gently corrected -- magic. I find that women respond poorly to boldness from the outset, even when they're told to expect it. I would also argue that being a little off-kilter at the start made them respond even more favourably to the assertive advances at the end. How was the first night "a wash" when you dampened the panties of all the girls in the room with one slightly agressive kiss? Yes and no. I wanted to be bold, and more irrationally I wanted to be loved for being bold. There's no question that I lost on a couple of levels: I wasn't cool, I misread them to begin with, and they ended up at least initially on top of me. As for the reaction, they were throwing me newbie crumbs in their kindheartedness. A round of loudly-proclaimed dampened panties looks great in a log excerpt, but it doesn't get the girls knocking on your door in the off-hours. The stuff that came later, when I got my sea legs as it were, is a far superior article - and that's when they started hitting me up for good lovin' at the dark end of the street. Were they softened up for their inevitable rogering by these initial missteps? Maybe you're right, maybe they were, but I still had to put some heavy spin on it and backtrack over a lot of my initial character-building. 3. [link to RP text fig. 1]Something more like this, perhaps.[/link] Yeah. Those bulky log excerpts are kind of optional reading. It's hard to strike a balance between the essentials and the grace notes when you also have to balance looking good and looking honest heavily in favor of honesty. (Because anything else means undercutting the purpose of the articles.) And for you, a little pre-RP chit-chat. {A_____} Ara, I had an interesting experience the other day {Sally} Oh? {A_____} I was taking public transportation into the city {A_____} And on the bus.... {TigerLurk} Oh? {A_____} A young girl, so slim, black, tiny, in a faux-snakeskin coat in clownshoes colors {Sally} oookay {A_____} Underneath the coat: Goodwill gear, vintage 1985 {A_____} A bag from a university bookstore {A_____} And clutched to her chest, very tightly, some books {A_____} She rifled through the bag {A_____} And drew out two...minidisc singles? {A_____} No, it couldn't be... {A_____} Morning Musume? {A_____} Impossible! {A_____} And then, as I was standing slightly behind her, I saw {A_____} The book, as it tilted down... {A_____} "Janesha Catherine Walker's Drawing Diary" {A_____} "Do not ask to see if younger than 19 or..." {A_____} "....anti-Japaneseness" {A_____} She opened it and began leafing through, very shy in public like this {A_____} Hiragana very neatly and nicely written on the inside front cover {A_____} And inside .... yaoi. {A_____} Wonderfully drawn. {A_____} Really top notch, though I didn't recognize any characters. {A_____} I....had no idea what to say or do, but I had of course expected none of it. {Sally} Cool though :) {Jane} Did you talk to her about it and such? {A_____} Oh no, that would have been impolitic. {Jane} But you at least acknowledged fellow yaoi-fan-ness? {A_____} She had a much more fully-realized world than mine. {Sally} I don't think I'd every expect to see something like that up here. *Maybe* in Boston but not any closer. * Jane blinks. {A_____} I'm only playing; she was in earnest. {Jane} Yaoi girl, right there, real life, on your bus, and you didn't say anything? {A_____} And to call us fellows would have been an insult to her. {Sally} Well, she looked shy too, yes? {A_____} Very shy. {A_____} And very much engrossed in her fantasies. * Jane foreheadsmacks. OK dude. {Sally} Mmm, I could see that then. {A_____} Jane! My dove, it would have been nothing but embarassing to her and with very little benefit to either of us. {A_____} But perhaps if I see her again I'll arrange to drop a note in her bag or something. {Sally} This is the sort of time I feel like I need to move. Nothing exciting happens around here. {A_____} I was on a bus, Sally. I imagine many people were on the same bus and thought nothing exciting was happening to them. Not to cast aspersions on you, of course! But to some extent fun is kinda where you make it. {Jane} Sorry, that was extremely rude of me. I forgot you wouldn't know that I would absolutely die to meet a nice, sane yaoi girl who lived by me. {A_____} Well, she would have been a little young for both of us, ne? {A_____} You're in Kansas City, aren't you? {A_____} I lived in St. Louis for a little while. {Jane} Everyone is too young for me. }_{ {Sally} And who's on what side of thirty? ^_^ {Sally} I can't believe I just said that... {A_____} Ladies, my dear fellow ladies, Tiger mentioned something about planning? {Jane} Sally, you know very well that 90% of yaoi girls are under 23. |
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