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by Giga Chode 02/25/2025, 11:44am PST |
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Ever find yourself starting to develop dating profile spidey sense, where something seems perfectly fine on the surface but your experience over time has hammered it into a red flag? Some might call you a picky unreasonable asshole, but pain is the best teacher and you know better.
These things are good: Ice cream and cake, A ride on a Harley, Seeing monkeys in the trees, The rain on my tongue, And the sun... shining on my face.
I call these "the Rocky Dennis". Anyone who types out chicken soup for the self affirmation is going to have the personality of a coffee table.
Things that describe me: loyal
Values: loyalty
"My ex boyfriend cheated on me and I'm still carrying that chip. The one thing that I brag about bringing to the table is the absolute bare minimum of 'I won't go fucking other people!' "
hobbies: lifting
MAGA cunts. Every single time.
Dogs are fine. A picture with your dog is fine. More than one dog picture or "dog mom" is a swipe left.
dislikes: cats
There's no bigger hidden red flag for an asshole than someone who "loves" dogs but hates cats. You are no longer an animal lover. You probably don't even love the dogs, but just love the feeling of having some living thing that can be trained and controlled. Cats don't fit that bill, but a sucker human man could!
ANY indication of horse girl is a hard pass. Princess upbringing? Freudian issue? The same category of faux animal lover who only appreciates animals for utility? Take your pick of the feedbag.
lawschool, lawyer, legal whatever
Sorry, Mischief. I'm convinced that lawyers are only compatible with other lawyers.
Marathon running: compulsion to the point of manic addiction. Hanging out with a training marathon runner is like hanging out with someone trying to quit smoking. Irritable and snapping towards anything that isn't that next hit of 5 mile punishment.
Plus it makes them harder to catch if they escape my basement.
mudders
See above, only now with extra Burning Man flavor!
tacos
Everyone has mentioned this, but is there any greater shorthand for announcing your cultural blandness to the world, where even other dilettantes call you lazy? You might as well list your favorite food as "sandwich".
Join me, fellow jaded swipers. What are innocuous profile signs that experience now warns YOU to stay away from? |
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This seems like a good place for dating website notes by laudablepuss 09/02/2020, 9:12pm PDT 
Please keep us posted on the adventure(s) by Pvt. Mysterio 09/02/2020, 10:20pm PDT
Re: Please keep us posted on the adventure(s) by Mysterio 09/03/2020, 8:35am PDT
Holy shit, Strindberg and Helium NT by laudablepuss 09/03/2020, 11:46am PDT
I'm pretty laid back, and don't like drama by laudablepuss 09/03/2020, 7:31pm PDT
Is anyone looking for someone who’s real? NT by Rafiki 09/03/2020, 8:21pm PDT
I'm especially enjoying the profiles where they are already mad at you by laudablepuss 09/04/2020, 11:05pm PDT
The egg timer challenge is apt by DON'T CLICK my dating profile! 09/05/2020, 12:04pm PDT
They're terrible at it because they can be. NT by Mysterio 09/25/2020, 6:47pm PDT
Re: This seems like a good place for dating website notes by blackwater 09/05/2020, 11:44pm PDT
Re: This seems like a good place for dating website notes by laudablepuss 09/25/2020, 6:35pm PDT
I like my women like my reality shows: naked and afraid NT by New profile 09/18/2020, 5:15pm PDT
I hate that show by laudablepuss 09/25/2020, 6:37pm PDT
Fluent in sarcasm | partner in crime | must love the oxford comma NT by Mysterio 10/12/2020, 5:01pm PDT
haha "must love the oxford comma" by laudablepuss 10/12/2020, 5:31pm PDT
"Eating ALL the tacos!" NT by lol so random 10/13/2020, 2:46am PDT
Have you tried Seeking Arrangement? by Mysterio 10/12/2020, 6:36pm PDT
Haha, too bad Matt Gaetz isn't a lurker on here! NT by laudablepuss 04/12/2021, 2:35pm PDT
How many Seeking Arrangements/Ashely Madison members were BURNED by yesterday's by emergency test? 10/05/2023, 1:33am PDT
I didn't post that NT by Me neither 10/05/2023, 3:08am PDT
A dozen pictures of exotic vistas with her as a tiny, indistinguishable figure NT by (while wearing thick parka) 10/13/2020, 10:36am PDT
It's also shocking how many profiles Angela White has NT by laudablepuss 10/13/2020, 2:05pm PDT
30% of all womens' profile are of me! NT by Machu Picchu 10/13/2020, 6:04pm PDT
Re: This seems like a good place for dating website notes by laudablepuss 04/12/2021, 2:38pm PDT
I started playing Tinder by Rafiki 10/03/2023, 7:57pm PDT
No way, $18.99/week? NT by laudablepuss 10/03/2023, 9:02pm PDT
Oh, it's $18.99 for 1 week (still insane) or $140/6mo NT by Rafiki 10/03/2023, 9:25pm PDT
I would rather be isolated lol NT by Oh 10/04/2023, 9:44am PDT
Welcome, Brother! by PUA Chapter Master 10/05/2023, 2:39am PDT
Forgot my favorite chick profile by PUA Chapter Master 10/05/2023, 6:16am PDT
Hinge! by Rafiki 10/16/2023, 8:54pm PDT
Well that's simple by PUA Chapter Master 10/16/2023, 9:08pm PDT
Coffee Meets Bagle- seeing likes is no longer free by PUA Chapter Master 06/05/2024, 11:47am PDT
"WORDS OF AFFIRMATION!" NT by fucking barf 10/15/2023, 1:25pm PDT
u hAev f0rg00tt000en thE c0d3 by thE c0De 06/05/2024, 12:17pm PDT
The code! The code! by Figure out the code! Yesterday, 4:52am PDT
Unreasonable red flags by Giga Chode 02/25/2025, 11:44am PST
yoga NT by Comrade Mysterio 02/25/2025, 12:09pm PST
That's a good one! by forgot it on my list 02/25/2025, 2:00pm PST
Re: Unreasonable red flags by LurkerDan 02/25/2025, 1:28pm PST
Re: Unreasonable red flags by Vested Id 02/25/2025, 1:47pm PST
Vegan/vegetarian by goes without saying 02/26/2025, 2:23am PST
People should probably exercise...? by Fullofkittens 02/26/2025, 8:43am PST
That is not the point of the thread. NT by Comrade Mysterio 02/26/2025, 9:01am PST
FoK! You're trapped in a cult! by We're here to save you! Yesterday, 4:49am PDT
My counter is "that makes team sports a cult" but I do think that NT by Fullofkittens Yesterday, 12:18pm PDT
"Jim Halpert" by Instant swipe left Today, 6:58am PDT
Did she really say that? NT by ... Today, 12:13pm PDT
I've seen at least half a dozen of those NT by Instant swipe left Today, 2:18pm PDT
So... what you're saying is... NT by ... Today, 3:27pm PDT
Looks directly into camera NT by :| Today, 3:32pm PDT
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