|
by The only source you need 12/20/2023, 3:30am PST |
|
 |
|
 |
|
Is Netflix the Epic Mega Store of streaming services? What is their obsession scooping up every hot video game for adaptations?
Dragon's Dogma is the bottom of the barrel in this category. Plotless, pointless, desperately trying for Castlevania's shock value, with the added twist of the writer being so reactionary that you swear it was The Dark Knight Rises guy.
Frequent episode plots of the "hero" stumbling onto another greedy ruler or organization, yet it's the peasants who are the REAL villains! Anyone who disputes the god king divine right to rule by the rich and powerful is labeled as evil and literally possessed by dark spirits making them say these things. A greedy duke who sends soldiers to their deaths just so he can acquire a Lich's treasure horde and grow even more disgustingly wealthy? The REAL villain is the soldier who suggests that they set aside a tiny, wouldn't be missed portion of the treasure horde for the widows of their slain comrades so they won't be destitute now that their husbands are dead. "That treasure belongs to the Duke! That's stealing! Where is your honor?" exclaims the righteous loyal soldiers! Turns out that the people who suggested helping destitute widows were under the influence of the Lich's curse for greed, and the loyal lapdogs of a callous feudal overlord were the only ones to righteously resist it!
The only thing more evil than not bowing to the 1% is women. And extramarital sex. Hussy wives cucking their nice guy husbands in favor of uncaring giga chads.
If you thought Castlevania needed a PragerU twist and lamer shock gore, Dragon's Dogma is here! |
|
 |
|
 |
|
|
|
I am on a holiday Netflix binge. My important opinions below. NT by The only source you need 12/20/2023, 2:44am PST 
Arcane vs. Dragon's Blood by The only source you need 12/20/2023, 3:01am PST
Dragon's Dogma by The only source you need 12/20/2023, 3:30am PST
Squid Game by The only source you need 12/20/2023, 3:54am PST
Good popcorn series to binge. Excellent for what it was. NT by Understatement Man 12/20/2023, 12:12pm PST
I think I get the appeal of this by The only source you need 12/20/2023, 6:55pm PST
Re: I think I get the appeal of this by Understatement Man 12/20/2023, 7:00pm PST
Blue Eyed Samurai by The only source you need 12/20/2023, 4:04am PST
Stranger Things by The only source you need 12/20/2023, 7:02pm PST
The Clovehitch Killer by The only source you need 12/20/2023, 7:06pm PST
Fuck! 1989's Parents NT by The only source you need 12/20/2023, 7:17pm PST
The 7 Lives of Lea by The only source you need 12/20/2023, 7:16pm PST
free bump NT by free bump patrol 12/20/2023, 7:47pm PST
Leave the World Behind by The only source you need 12/21/2023, 11:50am PST
Why don't you pick GOOD movies? You're on holiday NT by Feris 12/21/2023, 3:59pm PST
Why DON'T I pick only good movies I haven't watched yet? NT by You're a genius sir A+ 12/21/2023, 7:37pm PST
I like the reviews, I'm not your enemy here. NT by Feris 12/21/2023, 8:02pm PST
The Batman by The only source you need 12/22/2023, 12:47am PST
Hey, cunt by Feris 12/22/2023, 7:02am PST
You couldn't determine that The Batman received good reviews? by Kenji Carter 12/22/2023, 7:30am PST
Hey man. Stranger Things is no Summer of 84, you tasteless vermin by Yahtzeek 12/22/2023, 7:47am PST
oh no what will we do without this simpletons post by oh nooo 12/22/2023, 1:40pm PST
hahaha NT by fucking moron 12/23/2023, 12:39am PST
The Squid Game review really broke you, didn't it? by The only source you need 01/09/2024, 9:30pm PST
|
|
