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Re: My bucks by Quétinbec 12/29/2019, 4:54pm PST
Ulrachi wrote:


Honest question: can bribery help?


I was shocked at the number and quality of people that suggested I get the mother 'taken care of' and said they knew people to do it. It freaked me out to the point that now I only meet the Mum at the back of the large lobbies of 5 star hotels, or in crowded shopping malls, because if respectable Filipinos are suggesting this and even quoting prices, imagine the kind of killers she'd have access to in the slums. It's one of the reasons I pay a steady stream of money to her - the threat of that drying up in the event of my death.

I got a couple of Filipino lawyers once. They were worse than useless. After I discovered I didn't have a legal leg to stand on because he's illegitimate, I paid them to have dinner with her to try to convince her to share custody. They drafted a document for her to sign and suggested I route all payments to her through them. That was the plan. She won them over with tears and they suggested she attack me via the NZ legal system - even going so far as to recommend her some pro-bono lawyer here! That never amounted to shit but scared me for a while. Fucking bitches.

As far as bribes go, the closest I could get would be to bribe someone in the child protective services to declare her an unfit mother, but that would still need to go to court which would take years and, most importantly, require me to spend those years in her shitbox city. Fuck that.

Even if they found in my favour, she has always threatened to run off with my son 'into the mountains'. I used to threaten her all kinds of ways for the first few years, but I've found the most successful tactic is not to give a fuck. I think initially, I was just pretending not to give a fuck, but as the years have passed, I think I actually don't give much of a fuck. It's easy not to give a fuck when you hardly know the kid, he hardly looks like you, and you're sitting on a jet ski somewhere far, far away. I used to have to pay her for her to send me pictures of him. Now, she sends me pictures of him for free to try to keep me engaged. It's crucial not to give a fuck.

I've lost track of who I have and haven't told about this kid, so I tend not to talk about him unless someone brings him up. Sometimes, I'll be talking to a good friend and I'll be like, "Oh, we're gonna swing by and see [illegitimate kid] in May." And they'll say, "Who's [illegitimate kid]?" And then I'll be, like, "Oh, fuck man. You don't know about this kid? Sorry. That's a long story." And, of course, the whole situation makes me look like shit so my wife never tells any of her friends. Could make things awkward when/if he comes here in June.

Ultimately, he's gonna have to want to leave her, and she'll have to consent to him leaving. That'll be tough as she's made him completely dependent on her to get dressed, eat, use the toilet, brush his teeth, etc... She sent a video of him eating a pancake at a restaurant a couple of months ago because she was proud of him feeding himself. He held the utensils like a retard and could barely do it. He's 7 years old.
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    If the web has taught us anything, it's: you can't joke about being a dumb assho by Fullofkittens 11/12/2019, 5:28am PST NEW
        Re: If the web has taught us anything, it's: you can't joke about being a dumb by Ice Cream Jonsey 11/12/2019, 1:42pm PST NEW
            I'm actually Melissa McCarthy NT by laudablepuss 11/12/2019, 8:17pm PST NEW
            the ICJ character turned much less monstrous over the years tbh NT by Fullofkittens 11/13/2019, 11:51am PST NEW
                Many Caltrops people have had a redemption arc over the years. by Ulrachi 11/13/2019, 3:27pm PST NEW
                    Re: Many Caltrops people have had a redemption arc over the years. by Creexuls, custom software 11/13/2019, 3:46pm PST NEW
                        The Color Monster by Tease Monster 11/13/2019, 4:01pm PST NEW
    Who's got more to lose, Erik or Chet? NT by Mysterio 11/12/2019, 7:48am PST NEW
        Sucks than anybody is even thinking this way by Vested Id 11/12/2019, 8:57am PST NEW
    You have done a good thing. by Quétinbec 12/03/2019, 12:15pm PST NEW
        You're alive! NT by Vested Id 12/03/2019, 2:56pm PST NEW
        Re: You have done a good thing. by Mr. 3000 12/03/2019, 4:50pm PST NEW
            Take a moment to judge me. by Quétinbec 12/04/2019, 9:39pm PST NEW
                Back for more digital self-harm? NT by MM 12/04/2019, 10:27pm PST NEW
                My cousin's a professional surfer. by Jerry Whorebach 12/05/2019, 12:24am PST NEW
                Re: Take a moment to judge me. by Mr. 3000 12/05/2019, 6:16am PST NEW
                Re: Take a moment to judge me. by This is Chris's Blood 12/05/2019, 11:06am PST NEW
                    My bucks by Quétinbec 12/05/2019, 11:50pm PST NEW
                        Re: My bucks by MM 12/06/2019, 5:14am PST NEW
                        I kid! Here's the reply video you were all actually waiting for me to post! by Mischief Maker 12/06/2019, 5:45am PST NEW
                            I know we give her a hard time on CalTrops but I like the costumes NT by Mysterio 12/06/2019, 6:20am PST NEW
                            Anyone got a shit wife? by Quétinbec 12/06/2019, 10:38pm PST NEW
                                A wife and a forum serve different purposes, I think NT by blackwater 12/07/2019, 9:38pm PST NEW
                                I've done enough divorce mediations to know better than to ever get married. by Mischief Chad 12/08/2019, 6:12am PST NEW
                                    Marry an Asian with "old fashioned" values by Quétinbec 12/08/2019, 3:18pm PST NEW
                                    Marriage is not as bad as doing divorce mediations might make it seem. NT by blackwater 12/10/2019, 9:11pm PST NEW
                                    this post sprouted a fedora from my head NT by this is like progressive MGTOW shit 12/27/2019, 9:01am PST NEW
                        Re: My bucks by Ice Cream Jonsey 12/06/2019, 6:19am PST NEW
                            Re: My bucks by Quétinbec 12/06/2019, 10:44pm PST NEW
                                Re: My bucks by Mysterio Prime 12/08/2019, 9:36am PST NEW
                                    Re: My bucks by Quétinbec 12/08/2019, 3:26pm PST NEW
                                        Re: My bucks by Ulrachi 12/10/2019, 3:47pm PST NEW
                                            Caltrops does not endorse kidnapping. by Jerry Whorebach 12/10/2019, 7:32pm PST NEW
                                            Re: My bucks by Quétinbec 12/28/2019, 12:24am PST NEW
                                                Re: My bucks by Ulrachi 12/28/2019, 12:28pm PST NEW
                                                    Re: My bucks by Quétinbec 12/29/2019, 4:54pm PST NEW
                                                        Cripes, dude, your life really is one big Sophia Coppola movie. NT by MM 01/06/2020, 6:16pm PST NEW
                                                        Re: My bucks by Nintendo Power 01/07/2020, 8:20am PST NEW
                                        how this ends by Donato Dalrymple 12/26/2019, 9:21am PST NEW
                                            Re: how this ends by Mysterio 12/26/2019, 9:31am PST NEW
                                                I'm going to go ahead and think less of him. NT by Donato Dalrymple 12/27/2019, 3:15pm PST NEW
                                                    Watch it. He's done nothing to deserve that. NT by Dick Clownshoes 01/07/2020, 1:25pm PST NEW
                                Re: My bucks by Roop 12/09/2019, 10:01pm PST NEW
                                    UPDATE: Looks like Paul might need that bionic eye too... NT by The Happiness Engine 12/15/2019, 11:33am PST NEW
                                        And fuck let's be honest, and the arm too. Fuck. NT by Roop 12/15/2019, 12:08pm PST NEW
                                Re: My bucks by Lars 10/21/2024, 7:14pm PDT NEW
    Clarification: I downloaded OMM, not Caltrops NT by Vested Id 12/10/2019, 2:35pm PST NEW
 
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