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| I didn't like this. It was like watching fanfiction (spoilers I guess) by Rafiki 12/27/2015, 9:35pm PST | ||||
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| I'm trying to limit my comparisons to the originals because I didn't care if this equaled them or not, but it's hard not to draw SOME comparisons particularly because as others have pointed out it's a reworked A New Hope.
I resented BB8 right from the start because it felt like they were telling me to like it instead of just giving me reasons and letting me arrive there on my own. R2D2 was treated like a dumb robot, a useful tool for people, but over the course of the ADVENTURE the characters developed a sentimental attachment because he demonstrated his usefulness and they lived through EPIC DANGER together. It mirrored my own reaction. It's a dumb robot that I grew to like because I had reasons to. In the new one, the pilot already had an established relationship and treated him like his best bud ever so I was supposed to like BB8 because that guy did. Obviously there might exist a person who has an attachment to their droid, but *I* didn't see BB8 do anything. Ever. To compensate, they tried to make it cuter and emote more. R2D2 couldn't emote for shit beyond boopity beep sound effects but still he was compelling and helpful. Speaking of dumb robots, everybody treated BB8 like it was a person. Rey even stood up for him and saved him from a scrapper despite having no relationship whatsoever, and then immediately treated it like a puppy. So.....are droids sentient beings to people now? Because then how does that work, re: slavery. If they're not regarded as sentient, who gives a fuck if they get scrapped? Would you intervene if you saw some kids in the street teasing a Roomba? Also, I guess droids have a distinct language now. It made sense that C3P0 could interpret because he's a fucking robot, but now Rey can speak Roomba because there's no C3P0 to BB8's R2D2. I couldn't decide how racist Finn was. He had sassy moments, which automatically made him the sassy black character. I might be seeing a big throbbing dick where there's only a fine oak pipe, but once I made that leap I had a hard time not seeing it. Rey sucked. Ok, Abrams wanted to make a strong female character, that's fine. He makes her so strong she's boring. She's magically good at everything. All things. Anything she has a chance to demonstrate aptitude at, she's amazing at it. She's a great fighter, a brilliant pilot, a genius engineer, great at stealth, she can use the Force without prior knowledge or training, and she's instantly SO GOOD at using The Force that she's even better than a guy who was trained by a fucking Jedi. The master-of-all-trades fanfic character. If it was a male character, I'd accuse Abrams of inserting a Mary Sue. Since it's a female character, I'm accusing him of pandering so hard he ruined what I assume is supposed to be the star character. It comes off as him so self-consciously trying to be "empowering" and defy any sense of her being a damsel that under no circumstances can she ever need help or lose. Instead, Abrams gave her god mode and sucks all of the dramatic tension out of every scene she's in. Why do I care about her when it's impossible she'll be challenged? And like BB8, I'm told to like Rey. Curmudgeonly Han Solo gives her his seal of approval, and we all trust good ol' Han Solo, right? Literally no reason for that exchange except to instruct the audience to like her. And don't EVEN tell me there's a million guy movies with leads like this because that's a copout. It can work in the right circumstances, but this isn't James Bond, Superman, or Ferris Bueler (ironically, I was never into James Bond or Superman). Furthermore, many of the most iconic characters of all time either required training, had very specific skills that could utilize only at key moments instead of being perfect at all things, or were just regular people who were smart and could think on their feet. Ripley is one of the best characters of ALL TIME, but instead of wall running down a corridor and Flash Kicking the queen through an airlock she hacked open after being taught how to use a computer for the first time she was just smart, resourceful, and really fucking brave. Speaking of Rey, why was she sent to the location at the end? I mean, besides the movie telegraphing it and the audience expecting it. What was the stated story reason? I don't recall anyone saying anything. Everyone was looking for it, but she was still basically a stranger to the rebels, so why did they choose to send her? And alone for that matter? It's bullshit! *slams fist on desk, knocking over 48oz soft drink and original Star Wars action figures* You know who sucked more than Rey? Darth Vader 2. At least Darth Maul, General Grievous, Dooku, and so on were their own villains. They might not have been amazingly memorable, but they weren't just a recostumed Vader. I can't decide if Abrams is a giant pussy or if it's fanfic levels of, "but I wanted to write a story with Darth Vader." Another moment of the characters telling me what to think: An air and ground fight where in the middle of all the chaos we have to watch Finn stop and explicitly state, "man, that x-wing pilot is amazing!," because we can't decide that on our own from watching him dogfight. And I bitch and I bitch and I bitch |
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