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by fabio 06/24/2012, 9:09pm PDT |
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Mischief Maker wrote:
That's IT. Why is the Android doing all these incredibly stupid impulsive things like dosing the guy's drink? Because Pandora's insatiable curiosity doomed us all. Why did the Engineers leave clues everywhere to lead humanity to discover the black goo? Because the Gods set Pandora up to fail by making the box impossible to resist.
They're aping 2001 with the Alien franchise stapled on.
That's it.
Why is anything happening? Because it happened in 2001.
Despite everyone from our parents' generation saying it made no sense, 2001 had reasons for the things going on. Mankind seeks out its maker, the entity that sparked our intelligence. During this mission, our own intelligent creation is along for the ride, Hal. Why is the ship's computer trying to kill everyone? Because that's what mankind has been doing with his tools since the dawn of time. It was the first thing he did with his new found self awareness. Why is there a montage of confusing shit at the end? Because the alien intelligence was so beyond our comprehension that those images was its best attempt to communicate. Why was there a baby? Starting over at the next stage of evolution.
Why is DAVID trying to kill people in Prometheus? Because HAL did it in 2001. There is no mirror to previously established themes to explain it. Why is this ironic at the point where we've "evolved" enough to seek out our makers? It isn't, there's no thematic point to it.
The writers can't even keep their myths straight. The Prometheus myth was analogous to 2001 while having virtually no relevance to the movie Prometheus. If anything it was the myth of Cronus. Father creates children, seeks to destroy them. This was the myth they tried to mirror at various levels: David resenting his parents, Weyland selfishly seeking to extend his life rather than pass the legacy on, and the only possible reason for revealing that Charlize Theron was Weyland's daughter. None of these things went anywhere though. Nothing came of David's attitude (was he acting on his own? following Weyland's instructions? Did he translate what Weyland was saying or did he intentionally set the Engineer off?), Weyland came too late with too stupid an entrance to matter, and nothing at all about Weyland and Charlize's relationship tied into it.
It's just a bunch of garbage. Just like Lost, it's all an inept copy of an earlier, better sci-fi premise as an excuse to throw out a bunch of bizarre mystery hooks that ultimately go nowhere.
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I'm a mess, gang NT by Prometheus 06/10/2012, 12:05pm PDT 
An utterly gorgeous, and fairly enjoyable mess. Nothing makes sense. NT by Eurotrash 06/10/2012, 12:12pm PDT
Thread should have stopped here. NT by Cholon 06/25/2012, 6:39pm PDT
Never! NT by Deckard is a Replicant 06/25/2012, 6:44pm PDT
It was pretty good! I love four-engine Serenity. NT by laudablepuss 06/10/2012, 8:34pm PDT
Re: It was pretty good! I love four-engine Serenity. by laudablepuss 06/10/2012, 8:37pm PDT
Prometheus is excellent by Lizard_King 06/11/2012, 4:24am PDT
"Hands down, the best 'inspired by a cool-looking chair' movie I've ever seen!" by jeep 06/11/2012, 6:34am PDT
4 picture review by fabio 06/12/2012, 11:38pm PDT
4 equation plot synopsis by Mischief Engineer 06/13/2012, 5:48pm PDT
Hi, Mischief! NT by Exiled comments section 06/14/2012, 9:26pm PDT
You've seen it? Write us a review, MM. NT by Thinking less of you 06/14/2012, 11:26pm PDT
Alright, here you go. by Mischief Recycler 06/16/2012, 12:39pm PDT
What did your latest censored comment say? NT by Exiled comments section 06/30/2012, 12:46pm PDT
I think he flipped my trigger warning NT by "cunt" 06/30/2012, 4:08pm PDT
Here's a better one sentence review by fabio 06/14/2012, 12:37pm PDT
Do you read an orange/blue tumblr or something? I hope so. NT by Cuz you're starting to look crazy 06/15/2012, 11:22pm PDT
It's the laziest possibly way to create contrast in a visual medium by fabio 06/16/2012, 2:09pm PDT
I understand your premise (but thanks for explaining again) and am pointing out NT by that you're losing your mind. 06/17/2012, 2:38am PDT
Maybe you can inform Chet & Erik's about their crate problem. NT by fabio 06/17/2012, 3:07pm PDT
Chet and Erik were and are funny. NT by You were and are not funny. 06/17/2012, 5:38pm PDT
Thanks for the comedy lessons, anonyfag. We're awaiting your article. NT by fabio 06/17/2012, 11:00pm PDT
It'll be up the day before your first movie hits theaters, you unfunny cunt. NT by the beam in your eye 06/18/2012, 9:30pm PDT
"Where's YOUR movie!" Thank you, you're done here. NT by fabio 06/18/2012, 9:34pm PDT
Fabio is bad at humor, recognizing irony, understanding movies, seeing in 3-D NT by Fabiobot 06/18/2012, 9:53pm PDT
Maybe you can post as irony now. Ask josh for tips. NT by fabio 06/19/2012, 4:13pm PDT
Everyone not as funny as Erik leave the site now NT by Caltrops 2012 rescue plan 06/18/2012, 7:31pm PDT
I think that happened already. NT by starting years ago. 06/19/2012, 7:55am PDT
1) They invented that bit, you didn't invent the blue/orage observation, 2) They NT by did one article on it, it was funny 06/17/2012, 7:45pm PDT
One has to admit this shit is getting a little out of control. by Arbit 06/21/2012, 10:11am PDT
Re: One has to admit this shit is getting a little out of control. by HOT TUB TIME MACHINE JURY 06/24/2012, 8:31pm PDT
If it makes you feel any better, I'm back to thinking FABIO is crazy by Arbit 06/25/2012, 9:59am PDT
Re: If it makes you feel any better, I'm back to thinking FABIO is crazy by laudablepuss 06/25/2012, 10:52am PDT
I think it's great that FABIO is here to call out Hollywood on their bullshit. by Jerry Whorebach 06/25/2012, 10:59pm PDT
Is every other image considered cherry picking? by fabio 06/27/2012, 4:57pm PDT
I was referring to HOT TUB WHATEVER by Arbit 06/27/2012, 8:17pm PDT
Re: Is every other image considered cherry picking? by HOT TUB TIME MACHINE JURY 07/09/2012, 8:16pm PDT
Re: One has to admit this shit is getting a little out of control. by Last 06/25/2012, 1:17pm PDT
Is this only for movies and games? by Lurker 58913 12/09/2012, 1:00am PST
Well that was crap by fabio 06/15/2012, 8:50pm PDT
Redlettermedia by fabio 06/15/2012, 9:22pm PDT
Actual Redlettermedia review by Arbit 06/26/2012, 11:13am PDT
Re: Actual Redlettermedia review by laudablepuss 06/26/2012, 11:32am PDT
Re: Actual Redlettermedia review by laudablepuss 06/26/2012, 11:45am PDT
Dr. Mabuse NT by BOOYA 06/26/2012, 12:43pm PDT
If we're going by that small time gap and mediocre margin NT by Die Hard 1 & 3 06/27/2012, 4:10pm PDT
Re: If we're going by that small time gap and mediocre margin by matt mysterio 06/27/2012, 11:13pm PDT
Michael Mann: LA Takedown (1989) and Heat (1995) by Eurotrash 06/27/2012, 9:37pm PDT
Addendum by Mischief Maker 10/25/2012, 9:00am PDT
I'm always left wondering by 8========D 10/25/2012, 1:18pm PDT
Actually they're both film students by Mischief Maker 10/25/2012, 7:55pm PDT
Re: Well that was crap by Eurotrash 06/16/2012, 1:21am PDT
It only wants you to think it's a ponderous art film by fabio 06/16/2012, 2:01pm PDT
I know it's neither clever nor is it profound, it's too dumb for that. by Eurotrash 06/17/2012, 7:01am PDT
So you're saying it's a Sci-Fi version of "Legend" NT by Mischief Maker 06/17/2012, 7:29am PDT
Which makes it AWESOME, right?? *double thumbs up?* NT by Eurotrash 06/17/2012, 1:39pm PDT
Movies are over, yes (bonus 3D review) by fabio 06/17/2012, 3:13pm PDT
Re: Movies are over, yes (bonus 3D review) by Mysterio 06/18/2012, 9:03pm PDT
Prometheus' "Message" by Mischief Maker 06/19/2012, 6:56am PDT
Forgot to say "because Reynolds was created to support a long running TV series" NT by Mischief Maker 06/19/2012, 6:59am PDT
Black smoke monster : black goo monser :: big white killer polar bear NT by : big white killer alien man 06/16/2012, 1:20pm PDT
Re: Well that was crap by Mischief Maker 06/16/2012, 2:13pm PDT
That gif is fantastic NT by laudablepuss 06/16/2012, 4:35pm PDT
the old biomass oddity returns a hundred times stupider by a scientist 06/16/2012, 9:57pm PDT
They kind of explained that away with magic science in the first one by Fullofkittens 06/17/2012, 6:01am PDT
Re: They kind of explained that away with magic science in the first one by laudablepuss 06/17/2012, 4:30pm PDT
carbon + oxygen = fire so I don't know why people don't just burst into flame NT by Mr Science 06/17/2012, 5:27pm PDT
Oxygen nearly killed off life, in all probability. So you're not as far off as NT by laudablepuss 06/17/2012, 8:27pm PDT
Re: the old biomass oddity returns a hundred times stupider by Mischief Maker 06/19/2012, 7:08am PDT
Re: the old biomass oddity returns a hundred times stupider by laudablepuss 06/19/2012, 8:04am PDT
Re: the old biomass oddity returns a hundred times stupider by Mischief Maker 06/19/2012, 9:33am PDT
That is an excellent gif NT by Lizard_King 06/21/2012, 11:34am PDT
It makes his character arc by laudablepuss 06/21/2012, 12:06pm PDT
haha. that is all. NT by Lizard_King 06/23/2012, 12:45am PDT
BTW, why no link to that review? NT by laudablepuss 06/25/2012, 12:28pm PDT
There's a review? I'm just relinking a GIF someone used in the shmups forum by Mischief Maker 06/25/2012, 1:31pm PDT
I mean the thientitht reviewing Alien NT by laudablepuss 06/25/2012, 3:06pm PDT
Ah yes. by Mischief Maker 06/25/2012, 6:00pm PDT
Just be thankful no one remembers me NT by The X-Files Movie 06/21/2012, 12:58am PDT
Some of you like it, some do not. by Souffle of Pain 06/23/2012, 8:34am PDT
Fuck that shit (pabbbbssst blew rib on!) by The ultimate negative review 06/23/2012, 12:23pm PDT
Prometheus is better than Snow White. by Eurotrash 06/23/2012, 3:18pm PDT
No you're not a mess, you're just obscured by misleading advertising. by Mischief Maker 06/24/2012, 7:22pm PDT
You're giving the writers too much credit for following THAT basic myth by fabio 06/24/2012, 9:09pm PDT
I thought it was good *spoilers* by Arbit 06/25/2012, 12:21pm PDT
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