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Prometheus' "Message" by Mischief Maker 06/19/2012, 6:56am PDT
(Crossposted from the discission on the Shmups Forum)

I really don't think Prometheus is pushing an agenda. It's just suffering from the same Prequel malaise that turned Darth Vader into Space Jesus. Sequels are hard enough as it is, you have to make a movie that OUTDOES the original, and worse, you often have to use characters who were never intended for additional stories whose arcs are already complete (eg. Neo in the Matrix Sequels). Make it a prequel and not only do you have to accomplish those two goals, but you also have to insert a magic reset button that puts things back where they were in the first movie.

I'll probably get some flak for saying this, but Firefly's Malcolm Reynolds is a more complex and interesting character than his inspiration, Han Solo. Reynolds has all sorts of history behind him, complex relationships with his crew, etc. Even after the movie Serenity there's plenty of Reynolds to support further films or a relaunch of the TV show. Han Solo, on the other hand, was a common criminal who by chance got involved in something bigger and more important than his standing in the Space Mob, uncovered that deep down he had a heart of gold, and craziest of all, a crook like him wound up with a princess in the end! How do you fulfill the 3 prequel requirements of outdoing Star Wars, using this character whose entire arc is complete, AND putting him back in the position of saying "Better her than me!" in Star Wars? Alternate universe rebellion with a hotter princess and force-amnesia? Unless one of the writers has a flash of serious creative genius these unnecessary prequels (like Star Trek 11) can't help but be ludicrous!

So enter Prometheus. Um... the space jockeys aren't just a weird ancient alien race with creepy biomechanical ships stumbled upon by a ragtag mining crew, they're the engineers of humanity sought out by the most powerful man on Earth! The Xenomorphs aren't just a creepy space-wasp, they're actually shoggoths that form themselves into any number of bizarre creatures whose one common feature is that they rape their victims in the mouth and implant their larvae in the victim's still-living body like... a creepy space-wasp.
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I'm a mess, gang NT by Prometheus 06/10/2012, 12:05pm PDT NEW
    An utterly gorgeous, and fairly enjoyable mess. Nothing makes sense. NT by Eurotrash 06/10/2012, 12:12pm PDT NEW
        Thread should have stopped here. NT by Cholon 06/25/2012, 6:39pm PDT NEW
            Never! NT by Deckard is a Replicant 06/25/2012, 6:44pm PDT NEW
    It was pretty good! I love four-engine Serenity. NT by laudablepuss 06/10/2012, 8:34pm PDT NEW
        Re: It was pretty good! I love four-engine Serenity. by laudablepuss 06/10/2012, 8:37pm PDT NEW
    Prometheus is excellent by Lizard_King 06/11/2012, 4:24am PDT NEW
    "Hands down, the best 'inspired by a cool-looking chair' movie I've ever seen!" by jeep 06/11/2012, 6:34am PDT NEW
    4 picture review by fabio 06/12/2012, 11:38pm PDT NEW
        4 equation plot synopsis by Mischief Engineer 06/13/2012, 5:48pm PDT NEW
            Hi, Mischief! NT by Exiled comments section 06/14/2012, 9:26pm PDT NEW
                You've seen it? Write us a review, MM. NT by Thinking less of you 06/14/2012, 11:26pm PDT NEW
                    Alright, here you go. by Mischief Recycler 06/16/2012, 12:39pm PDT NEW
                What did your latest censored comment say? NT by Exiled comments section 06/30/2012, 12:46pm PDT NEW
                    I think he flipped my trigger warning NT by "cunt" 06/30/2012, 4:08pm PDT NEW
        Here's a better one sentence review by fabio 06/14/2012, 12:37pm PDT NEW
        Do you read an orange/blue tumblr or something? I hope so. NT by Cuz you're starting to look crazy 06/15/2012, 11:22pm PDT NEW
            It's the laziest possibly way to create contrast in a visual medium by fabio 06/16/2012, 2:09pm PDT NEW
                I understand your premise (but thanks for explaining again) and am pointing out NT by that you're losing your mind. 06/17/2012, 2:38am PDT NEW
                    Maybe you can inform Chet & Erik's about their crate problem. NT by fabio 06/17/2012, 3:07pm PDT NEW
                        Chet and Erik were and are funny. NT by You were and are not funny. 06/17/2012, 5:38pm PDT NEW
                            Thanks for the comedy lessons, anonyfag. We're awaiting your article. NT by fabio 06/17/2012, 11:00pm PDT NEW
                                It'll be up the day before your first movie hits theaters, you unfunny cunt. NT by the beam in your eye 06/18/2012, 9:30pm PDT NEW
                                    "Where's YOUR movie!" Thank you, you're done here. NT by fabio 06/18/2012, 9:34pm PDT NEW
                                        Fabio is bad at humor, recognizing irony, understanding movies, seeing in 3-D NT by Fabiobot 06/18/2012, 9:53pm PDT NEW
                                            Maybe you can post as irony now. Ask josh for tips. NT by fabio 06/19/2012, 4:13pm PDT NEW
                            Everyone not as funny as Erik leave the site now NT by Caltrops 2012 rescue plan 06/18/2012, 7:31pm PDT NEW
                                I think that happened already. NT by starting years ago. 06/19/2012, 7:55am PDT NEW
                        1) They invented that bit, you didn't invent the blue/orage observation, 2) They NT by did one article on it, it was funny 06/17/2012, 7:45pm PDT NEW
                    One has to admit this shit is getting a little out of control. by Arbit 06/21/2012, 10:11am PDT NEW
                        Re: One has to admit this shit is getting a little out of control. by HOT TUB TIME MACHINE JURY 06/24/2012, 8:31pm PDT NEW
                            If it makes you feel any better, I'm back to thinking FABIO is crazy by Arbit 06/25/2012, 9:59am PDT NEW
                                Re: If it makes you feel any better, I'm back to thinking FABIO is crazy by laudablepuss 06/25/2012, 10:52am PDT NEW
                                I think it's great that FABIO is here to call out Hollywood on their bullshit. by Jerry Whorebach 06/25/2012, 10:59pm PDT NEW
                                Is every other image considered cherry picking? by fabio 06/27/2012, 4:57pm PDT NEW
                                    I was referring to HOT TUB WHATEVER by Arbit 06/27/2012, 8:17pm PDT NEW
                                    Re: Is every other image considered cherry picking? by HOT TUB TIME MACHINE JURY 07/09/2012, 8:16pm PDT NEW
                        Re: One has to admit this shit is getting a little out of control. by Last 06/25/2012, 1:17pm PDT NEW
                            Is this only for movies and games? by Lurker 58913 12/09/2012, 1:00am PST NEW
    Well that was crap by fabio 06/15/2012, 8:50pm PDT NEW
        Redlettermedia by fabio 06/15/2012, 9:22pm PDT NEW
            Actual Redlettermedia review by Arbit 06/26/2012, 11:13am PDT NEW
                Re: Actual Redlettermedia review by laudablepuss 06/26/2012, 11:32am PDT NEW
                    Re: Actual Redlettermedia review by laudablepuss 06/26/2012, 11:45am PDT NEW
                        Dr. Mabuse NT by BOOYA 06/26/2012, 12:43pm PDT NEW
                        If we're going by that small time gap and mediocre margin NT by Die Hard 1 & 3 06/27/2012, 4:10pm PDT NEW
                            Re: If we're going by that small time gap and mediocre margin by matt mysterio 06/27/2012, 11:13pm PDT NEW
                        Michael Mann: LA Takedown (1989) and Heat (1995) by Eurotrash 06/27/2012, 9:37pm PDT NEW
            Addendum by Mischief Maker 10/25/2012, 9:00am PDT NEW
                I'm always left wondering by 8========D 10/25/2012, 1:18pm PDT NEW
                    Actually they're both film students by Mischief Maker 10/25/2012, 7:55pm PDT NEW
        Re: Well that was crap by Eurotrash 06/16/2012, 1:21am PDT NEW
            It only wants you to think it's a ponderous art film by fabio 06/16/2012, 2:01pm PDT NEW
                I know it's neither clever nor is it profound, it's too dumb for that. by Eurotrash 06/17/2012, 7:01am PDT NEW
                    So you're saying it's a Sci-Fi version of "Legend" NT by Mischief Maker 06/17/2012, 7:29am PDT NEW
                        Which makes it AWESOME, right?? *double thumbs up?* NT by Eurotrash 06/17/2012, 1:39pm PDT NEW
                    Movies are over, yes (bonus 3D review) by fabio 06/17/2012, 3:13pm PDT NEW
                        Re: Movies are over, yes (bonus 3D review) by Mysterio 06/18/2012, 9:03pm PDT NEW
            Prometheus' "Message" by Mischief Maker 06/19/2012, 6:56am PDT NEW
                Forgot to say "because Reynolds was created to support a long running TV series" NT by Mischief Maker 06/19/2012, 6:59am PDT NEW
        Black smoke monster : black goo monser :: big white killer polar bear NT by : big white killer alien man 06/16/2012, 1:20pm PDT NEW
        Re: Well that was crap by Mischief Maker 06/16/2012, 2:13pm PDT NEW
            That gif is fantastic NT by laudablepuss 06/16/2012, 4:35pm PDT NEW
            the old biomass oddity returns a hundred times stupider by a scientist 06/16/2012, 9:57pm PDT NEW
                They kind of explained that away with magic science in the first one by Fullofkittens 06/17/2012, 6:01am PDT NEW
                    Re: They kind of explained that away with magic science in the first one by laudablepuss 06/17/2012, 4:30pm PDT NEW
                        carbon + oxygen = fire so I don't know why people don't just burst into flame NT by Mr Science 06/17/2012, 5:27pm PDT NEW
                            Oxygen nearly killed off life, in all probability. So you're not as far off as NT by laudablepuss 06/17/2012, 8:27pm PDT NEW
                Re: the old biomass oddity returns a hundred times stupider by Mischief Maker 06/19/2012, 7:08am PDT NEW
                    Re: the old biomass oddity returns a hundred times stupider by laudablepuss 06/19/2012, 8:04am PDT NEW
                        Re: the old biomass oddity returns a hundred times stupider by Mischief Maker 06/19/2012, 9:33am PDT NEW
            That is an excellent gif NT by Lizard_King 06/21/2012, 11:34am PDT NEW
                It makes his character arc by laudablepuss 06/21/2012, 12:06pm PDT NEW
                    haha. that is all. NT by Lizard_King 06/23/2012, 12:45am PDT NEW
            BTW, why no link to that review? NT by laudablepuss 06/25/2012, 12:28pm PDT NEW
                There's a review? I'm just relinking a GIF someone used in the shmups forum by Mischief Maker 06/25/2012, 1:31pm PDT NEW
                    I mean the thientitht reviewing Alien NT by laudablepuss 06/25/2012, 3:06pm PDT NEW
                        Ah yes. by Mischief Maker 06/25/2012, 6:00pm PDT NEW
    Just be thankful no one remembers me NT by The X-Files Movie 06/21/2012, 12:58am PDT NEW
    Some of you like it, some do not. by Souffle of Pain 06/23/2012, 8:34am PDT NEW
        Fuck that shit (pabbbbssst blew rib on!) by The ultimate negative review 06/23/2012, 12:23pm PDT NEW
            Prometheus is better than Snow White. by Eurotrash 06/23/2012, 3:18pm PDT NEW
    No you're not a mess, you're just obscured by misleading advertising. by Mischief Maker 06/24/2012, 7:22pm PDT NEW
        You're giving the writers too much credit for following THAT basic myth by fabio 06/24/2012, 9:09pm PDT NEW
    I thought it was good *spoilers* by Arbit 06/25/2012, 12:21pm PDT NEW
 
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