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| HELL YES! by Quétinbec 08/23/2009, 6:49am PDT | ||||
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| I'm living in a two bedroom, three bathroom, serviced apartment. The bathroom in my master bedroom has a toilet AND A URINAL(!!!!) so I can shit in one and piss in the other (if I get bored). I also have two other bathrooms. Now I can get drunk and truthfully say, "BITCHES, WHAT KIND OF MAN AM I? I HAVE TOILETS I HAVEN'T EVEN SHAT IN!" *All girls swoon*
I don't play golf, but our monthly GOLF ALLOWANCE*(!!!) is half my maid's monthly wage. *I have a golf allowance, so suck my dick all you stupid assholes. You all talked a lot of shit, but look at me now. More amusingly, look at you and where all your bullshit life philosophies got you. Defensive philosophies that rationalized your suffering. You're getting what you deserve. You'll get no more advice from me. Let my life be an example to you of what you lost through your cowardice. Did you even know anyone with a golf allowance? I am easily the best person you know. I'm allowed to keep anything unspent from my housing allowance! If I want to share a flat with Indonesians for fuck all, I'd have the potential to save $110,000/year. That's taxed at 1%. That's the equivilent of ~$160,000 gross. I'm 27. Again, I am the best person you know. It's Ramadan so it's illegal to eat, drink water, and chew gum in public. I thought it was 'illegal' like chewing gum is 'illegal' in Singapore, where if you get caught by a cop, he just asks you to spit it out. Apparently though, two days ago at this complex, a Canadian guy got into some shit. He'd finished his supermarket shopping and opened a chocolate bar in his car on his way out. Someone reported his plate and the police came to reception. He was, like, "I opened it but then I remembered it was Ramadan so I didn't eat it!" Yeah, right fatty. Unwrap your chocolate bar in 45*C heat and leave it lying around. He didn't go to jail after a lot of bullshit, but they aren't fucking about. My "buddy" showed me a secret 'underground' restaurant that opens during the day during Ramadan. It was like how Speakeasy's must have felt in the prohibition! I ate chicken like a criminal. On my first day, I arrived with two other collegues. They had three "Filipino" helpers waiting for us. I thought they were our maids but they're not. Our maids are some Indian guys. My "helper" is an Indonesian girl. My "buddy" is a Arab! They have types of "service staff" here I didn't even know existed! Anyway, there were these three girls. One was pretty, one was average, one was ugly. I was like, "Here we go!". We didn't get to pick, though. The average one was already assigned to me. She was Indonesian. As far as I know, I'm the only single person in our building under 30 and, in my opinion, quite a catch as far as she is concerned. She wasn't very pretty though and had crappy legs, and just by being given this great apartment, I already felt I could do much, much better. Pretty terrible of me and I felt guilty for feeling that way, but I hope she has a good life. She calls to check up on me, but I say I'm fine and pretty much ignore her. What's a 'helper' supposed to do that a maid can't? She says she'll handle all my paperwork and shit, but my 'buddy' is my driver and he's a proper Arab who speaks much better Arabic so I use him instead. The ladies in full ninja outfits with only their eyes exposed - it's funny. You hear them say how the burka is liberating, and I always wondered how they could think that, but in public places when they're by themselves they're pretty much anonymous, and as we know from the internet, anyone anonymous feels invincible. I haven't seen them doing anything crazy, but a lady at the airport was staring at me shamelessly. I stared back for a few seconds to try to put a stop to it, but she didn't stop. I looked away, gathered myself, and decided to stare her down, but I pussed out after about 3 seconds because I was worried her husband might come back and because it was weird. :( I've never been stared down by a women before. Also, I can see why they keep these ladies wrapped up. When you see them without their shit, they're the most striking women in the world. You'd need to wrap them to get any work done. Not that Arabs do any work, but it's one less excuse for them, I suppose. Anyway, all this money and shit. I can see why you guys can get sucked in by it. I'm hoping to get bored of it, though. I don't think it makes you much happier. I'm happier now than when I was in NZ, but that's only because now everything's different and people seem to respect me more - not because these luxuries are providing levels of utility I couldn't previously afford. I believe that a poor person with the right attitude can out-fun 95% of the rich. The poor-poor here have it bad, though. Especially the Indian construction workers/slaves. They sleep in tents in fenced labour camps. I met one at the foreign worker registry. Here was our tiny conversation: QB: Hi, have you been waiting long? S: No trouble, please! QB: No! No trouble! Have you been waiting long? Waiting! *Points to watch* S: Sorry. No trouble, please. QB: It's OK. No trouble. *waits* S: *looks nervous* |
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