Forum Overview :: Earthbound

Shoe Shit by Quétinbec 04/28/2009, 4:49pm PDT Once when I was walking down a street in Delhi, an Indian shot shit on my shoe. I'd read about this scam. Apparently they walk beside you and shoot it through a tube or something. Anyway, because I already knew about it, I thought I'd totally get the drop on this guy and he wouldn't be able to fuck me over. He was like, "Excuse me, sir! Sir! There's shit on your shoe! If you stop, I can clean it off for you. If you stop, sir!". I can't remember if he said shit or what word he used. And I was like, "No thanks, I'll clean it off later." thinking I was all over his scammy bullshit. So he raises his voice as we're walking along, "BUT SIR! SIR! YOU LOOK A FOOL! SIR! YOU LOOK A FOOL WITH THAT SHIT ON YOUR SHOE!" and people are looking at me and I keep walking fast and telling him it's OK but eventually he breaks me with his taunts and I stop. It's alright though, because during the walk he said I could pay him whatever I felt like paying him and I thought, to fuck him over, I'd pay him 10 rupee ($0.30). It is a pretty good trick and I suppose he deserves at least that. Later I find out that's actually a good and normal rate to pay a shoe shiner and I wasn't fucking him over at all. He didn't have any proper shoe cleaning equipment. He had tissues and a handkerchief and he was basically smearing the shit around my shoe rather than taking it off. On top of this, a crowd had gathered and that made me nervous because what were they expecting to see? Another Indian was standing weirdly close behind me to my right and hadn't said anything. What was he looking at? Fortunately though, I'd become quite angry because of the terrible job the Indian was doing on my shoes. I stopped him halfway through his cleaning and I put my shoes back on. When I got to my feet, I offered him 10 rupee and he acted like a total asshole about it. He cursed me and called me a cheat. I told him that HE was the fucking cheat and that he'd put the shit on my shoe and I told him to fuck off. He followed me down the street loudly calling me a cheat and embarrassing me. I approached him like I was going to push him and he backed off and yelled a few last nasty things and left. I headed back to my hotel to clean my shoes. When I was talking about this later to a guy, he said the last and most important part of the scam (which Lonely Planet doesn't mention) is that while you are down on the ground in your socks, the guy behind you steals your wallet and runs in one direction, and the shiner takes your shoes and runs in the other! So you're left on your ass in socks and have to chase motherfuckers through the streets! Most tourists don't. My wallet was safe in tight jeans, and I could totally have caught either one of those assholes even in socks, but if he hadn't done such a shit job cleaning my shoes, maybe they would have tried something and maybe I could have done some cool shit and felt like a man.

India Part 1 by Quétinbec 03/30/2009, 7:54pm PDT     I read about the blue house phenomenon in a book about tipping points. by Jerry Whorebach 03/31/2009, 2:39am PDT         Samanes-seki, eemee sheemee pek poejee dah NT by Lee Myung-bak 03/31/2009, 3:07am PDT             Klop Jabba poo pah. Goo paknee ata pankpa. 8( NT by Jerry Whorebach 03/31/2009, 3:34am PDT     India Part 2 by Quétinbec 03/31/2009, 7:55pm PDT         Always so good. NT by Zsenitan 03/31/2009, 8:20pm PDT         Haha Salad (Western Style) *one sliced onion* NT by Fussbett 03/31/2009, 9:11pm PDT             With a sprinkling of curry powder as dressing! NT by Quétinbec 04/01/2009, 12:54am PDT                 Cuba's Western Salad was mixed cubed veggies from the freezer bag + oil. NT by Fussbett 04/01/2009, 2:58am PDT                     You can't fuck up a fruit salad, though. What fruit combo doesn't work? NT by Quétinbec 04/01/2009, 3:41am PDT         the slicked-back old guy with the iron: tailor, seller of clothes, or..? NT by up with pod people 03/31/2009, 9:51pm PDT             He was mearly an 'ironer'! by Quétinbec 04/01/2009, 12:53am PDT         Your photography is also getting much better by I need clarification 04/02/2009, 3:29pm PDT             Re: Your photography is also getting much better by Quétinbec 04/02/2009, 6:41pm PDT                 Is making a lot of money an art? Or just a lost art? NT by I need clarification 04/03/2009, 11:14am PDT                     It's a scam. When you sell photos, you steal from people. NT by Quétinbec 04/03/2009, 4:50pm PDT                         Their souls? NT by Ansel Adams, mountain soul stealer 04/03/2009, 5:13pm PDT                         That's not how I make money. I marry rich people. You should try it (and fail). NT by I need clarification 04/03/2009, 5:16pm PDT                             Hey Jerry, how much would you have to be paid to marry INC's wife? NT by Quétinbec 04/03/2009, 11:38pm PDT                                 How much just to Skype with her? NT by I need clarification 04/04/2009, 1:06am PDT                                     Hmmm, wanking to someone as ugly as your wife on Skype... It's possible. by Quétinbec 04/04/2009, 2:09pm PDT                                         What if she was a guy? You probably came just reading that. NT by I need clarification 04/04/2009, 2:19pm PDT                                 Now Jerry, you take INC's wife seriously! by Quétinbec 04/04/2009, 2:01pm PDT                                     You've really found my weak spot! If only I could find yours. :( by I need clarification 04/04/2009, 2:32pm PDT                                         orion the russian diver NT by gruman 04/04/2009, 3:27pm PDT                                             I wish I could quit you QB! NT by Smoke Manmuscle, Diver for Hire 04/04/2009, 4:04pm PDT                                         Hey, don't horn in on my "QB dead by 2015" long bet. NT by Fussbett 04/04/2009, 4:22pm PDT                                         Sounds like he actually might have - that's the longest INC post in years. NT by Choson 04/04/2009, 4:36pm PDT                                             The only way to win on Caltrops is to not post. This is why Caltrops is dying. NT by You're part of the problem. 04/04/2009, 10:37pm PDT                                                 So... Caltrops dying is a bad thing? NT by Choson 04/05/2009, 8:43am PDT                                                     If you want Caltrops to die then you're doing everything right. NT by You're part of the solution 04/05/2009, 11:40am PDT                                                         Thank you. by Choson 04/05/2009, 12:14pm PDT                                         gentlemen, such barbarianism is unseemly NT by this is india 04/04/2009, 9:42pm PDT                                         He considers his wife a 'weak spot'! Long bet: divorced at 53. by Quétinbec 04/05/2009, 4:51pm PDT                                             Speaking of long bets here's one Canada goes bankrupt and collapses in 10 years. by Creexuls, a monster >:3 04/05/2009, 5:57pm PDT                                                 Why is Canada getting splash damage in this INC/QB war?! Hate the game, not Can NT by Fussbett 04/05/2009, 6:03pm PDT                                                     The destruction of Canada and all of its culture is by far etc. NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 04/05/2009, 6:07pm PDT                                                         that is it. I am unleashing the fleet of beavers. NT by up with pod people 04/05/2009, 7:24pm PDT                                                             LOL hilarious beaver canada joke NT by still laughing 04/05/2009, 7:32pm PDT                                                                 fine, they are ninja beavers. you guys fucking love ninjas. NT by up with pod people 04/05/2009, 7:39pm PDT                                                                     yes link to dr. ninja webcomic again. we all love ninjas. NT by still laughing 04/05/2009, 8:39pm PDT                                             Smart enough to eventually make something work by Fussbett 04/05/2009, 6:02pm PDT                                                 Re: Smart enough to eventually make something work by Quétinbec 04/06/2009, 2:56am PDT                                                     Haha "maybe sew or write or do something great" *one sliced onion* NT by Fussbett 04/06/2009, 3:15am PDT                                             a common misconception by Ray of Light 04/05/2009, 6:57pm PDT                                             Re: He considers his wife a 'weak spot'! Long bet: divorced at 53. by Ice Cream Jonsey 04/05/2009, 7:22pm PDT                                                 Re: He considers his wife a 'weak spot'! Long bet: divorced at 53. by Creexuls, a monster >:3 04/05/2009, 7:46pm PDT                                                     Really? And what did you say yours was again, Creexyls? NT by Charity Man 04/05/2009, 7:49pm PDT                                                         WELL IT'S 476 HEY WAIT A SECOND NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 04/05/2009, 8:25pm PDT                                                 Re: He considers his wife a 'weak spot'! Long bet: divorced at 53. by Quétinbec 04/06/2009, 3:01am PDT                                                     Of course not. My first suspect would be Irene, herself. NT by Mischief Maker 04/06/2009, 5:24am PDT                                             Holy shit look at that pancake face! NT by I need clarification 04/05/2009, 9:42pm PDT                                             why hellow there sleeping hideo kojima NT by gruman 04/05/2009, 10:09pm PDT                                             Re: He considers his wife a 'weak spot'! Long bet: divorced at 53. by Entropy Stew 04/05/2009, 10:22pm PDT     India Part 3 by Quétinbec 04/02/2009, 6:28pm PDT         Don't wear a bikini in that restaurant, QB! NT by Mischief Maker 04/02/2009, 6:37pm PDT         India Bonus Material: Nepal by Quétinbec 04/02/2009, 6:39pm PDT             Look at how much cuter Nepalese children are than Indian children. NT by Fussbett 04/02/2009, 6:43pm PDT                 They're the best kids in the world. Better even than white kids! by Quétinbec 04/03/2009, 12:34am PDT             were those people worried that you were 'stealing their soul' with your camera NT by Mysterio 04/02/2009, 11:40pm PDT                 So long as it's using Fujifilm's anti-soul filter, the Neps are OK with it. NT by Quétinbec 04/03/2009, 12:35am PDT             Waldo by Waldo 04/14/2009, 2:41pm PDT                 Re: Waldo by bombMexico 04/14/2009, 4:20pm PDT         Divers do not strike me as people easily fooled or misled. Russians neither. NT by Ray of Light 04/02/2009, 11:10pm PDT             It's easy to fool someone who doesn't give a shit, Ray. NT by Quétinbec 04/03/2009, 12:35am PDT             Russians thought Communism was a good idea. NT by N 04/03/2009, 5:38am PDT                 Yeah, and look how well capitalism's working out for us right now. by Mischief Maker 04/03/2009, 8:10am PDT                     Capitalism (western style) NT by 1 sliced onion 04/03/2009, 9:41am PDT                     it's not being used right now, that's how it's working out NT by Weyoun Voidbringer 04/03/2009, 9:52am PDT                         Whoa, there's no more capitalism in the world? I'd love to see that LGF post NT by Fussbett 04/03/2009, 1:53pm PDT                             Just search LGF for "Obama." NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 04/03/2009, 2:30pm PDT                                 I did this. Nearly every post is about Obama! Couldn't find capitalism ones. NT by Fussbett 04/03/2009, 3:54pm PDT                                     Try "socialist nightmare." NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 04/03/2009, 4:23pm PDT                     Seven years of tertiary education and that's your reply? Nice, Keith Olbermann NT by Fortinbras 04/03/2009, 9:59am PDT                         My Bad: by Mischief Maker 04/03/2009, 10:17am PDT                             NICE ONE RACHEL MADDOW >=( NT by Fortinbras 04/03/2009, 10:20am PDT                                 How about this? by Mischief Maker 04/03/2009, 11:29am PDT                     The problem is we put too many regulations on our most greedy criminals. NT by What Republicans actually etc 04/03/2009, 11:24am PDT                         what liberals actually believe that republicans would actually believe (the left NT by Weyoun Voidbringer 04/03/2009, 11:38am PDT             Just in it for the shirtless dudes. It turns out they were soldiers! Bonus wank! NT by I need clarification 04/03/2009, 11:19am PDT                 Nothing says not gay like hanging around ex-military diver Buff Hardchest NT by Fortinbras 04/03/2009, 11:32am PDT                     conundrum: if everybody noticed him, is everybody gay? NT by up with pod people 04/03/2009, 12:18pm PDT                         Now taking auditions for the Caltrops Men's Choir NT by Mischief Maker 04/03/2009, 12:19pm PDT                         I wasn't going to say anything but then INC spoke up so I thought it was safe NT by Fortinbras 04/03/2009, 1:36pm PDT                             okay so some of us are gay COWARDS NT by Ass cancer 04/03/2009, 1:57pm PDT                                 with ass cancer ;( NT by up with pod people 04/03/2009, 1:58pm PDT                                     "If ass cancer should enter my ass, let that cancer destroy every closet door." NT by Harvey Milk 04/03/2009, 2:00pm PDT                         I only saw the boat and ocean but read into the negative space OH NOOOOO!!! NT by I need clarification 04/03/2009, 5:17pm PDT     Shoe Shit by Quétinbec 04/28/2009, 4:49pm PDT         Shoe? SHOOOOOOOEEEEEEEE NT by Murray from Space Mutiny 04/28/2009, 4:58pm PDT             the computer problems of joe and murry make for gripping cinema NT by Weyoun Voidbringer 04/28/2009, 5:01pm PDT                 Those Formica monitors don't get a lot of resolution. NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 04/28/2009, 5:03pm PDT     Arriving by Quétinbec 07/05/2009, 7:32pm PDT